10 Reasons Why You Should Never Date a Geek

geeks suck

Have you ever dated a geek? If you have, you know that they are loyal, caring, creative, problem-solvers. At least that’s what the self-proclaimed geeks at The Next Web want you to think!

That’s right. One of webs’ most influential tech journalism sites published a seemingly beguiling article entitled, “Geek Love: 10 Reasons to Date a Geek.” They suggest that geeks are not just thoughtful, but they are incredibly day to please. What nerds have they been seeing?

The geeks we’ve dated may not watch sports, but they do check their iPhones like they’re competing for messages. They’re obsessed with critiquing websites, analyzing our every date, and ditching us for late night hackathons and tech meet ups.

When it comes down to it, going out with a nerd actually sucks. Here are the top ten reasons why you should never, ever date a geek.

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    • Spastastic

      I think you’re painting “geeks” with much too broad of a brush. As a self-professed female nerd with nerdy friends, both male and female, I have never met anyone like this, and this type of nerd isn’t at all what I mainly associate with the word. I’m not saying they don’t exist, or that you can’t write about them being obnoxious, but they’re a very specific subset of geek, and using the word to refer ONLY to them isn’t fair to the rest of us.

      My friends and I aren’t obsessed with social media. We LARP, play video games, and are really into fantasy and sci-fi.

      I know it’s just a humorous article, and I’ll be accused of overreacting, but as a more traditional type of nerd the simultaneous all-inclusive language and specific subject bothered me a bit.

    • MeggyWeggy

      Yeeeeahhhhhhh… I can see this was clearly satire, but I’m wondering who thought it would be a good idea, especially after that MTG fiasco a while back. Your readerbase is composed of generally Internet-savvy people, and a lot of those are women who are ‘geeks’, as you misidentified them. I’m going to bookmark this for now and come back in a bit to watch the inevitable shitstorm.

    • Rebecca

      Maybe you should date a proofreader.

    • J

      Wow…really?

    • Raye

      1. You CAN’T check in on Tumblr, Instagram, Google or Klout…just sayin’

      2. Mark Zuckerburg actually dresses like a jock, Adidas sandals, cargo shorts, plain t-shirt and a hoodie. Have you ever gone to a frat party? No nerds, but there all dressed like Zuckerburg…

      3. Your more desirable un-nerds only talk about beer, football, and boobs. Having a guy that talks about coding with his friends sounds much better.

      4. They only criticize websites with bad design. And TNW has Tumblr Tuesdays every week! Cute puppies and cats included….

      5. Hack-a-thons. If there hack wins they could WIN 10,0000 + dollars. Enough to buy there gir friend a new designer wardrobe. Or maybe even turn one of their ideas into a startup that could ultimately turn them into a billionaire. And if you get married…you would be a billionaire too. A former frat lawyer will NEVER be a billionaire…

      6. Shallow? Have you gone to a super bowl party before?

      I’d rather date a nerd than a shallow, ignorant and stupid jock who doesn’t even know how to use Twitter and would rather drink and watch football than spend time with me. And your website was CODED by a so called nerd so your welcome. Everything you use was thought of, created and designed by a nerd.

    • Willow

      Does the word heteronormative mean ANYTHING to you?

      Way to be incredibly sexist and misandrist, not to mention erasing the experience of female idenitfying geeks. Way to make all women come across as shallow, unintelligent beings that are more concerned with puppies and kitties than coding – or anything else that you have deemed only appropriate for male geeks.

      The entire thing, satire or not, smacks of a cheap ploy for hits while playing about in the shallow end of the gene pool.

      Then I went and looked over other articles by this author and I see they seem to have no clue about life beyond some sickening heteronormative ideal of shallow women doing what they must to get a man. Truly sickening.

    • Dess

      Generalizations are so much fun! They’ve never been wrong or harmful to anyone!

    • Kathy

      If you’re butthurt on a past relationship with a “geek”, maybe you need a different outlet. Try keeping it inside your friend circle (or better, to yourself) and not publish your petty bullshit for everyone to see. Oh, excuse me, not everyone. Probably just geeks (such as my FEMALE self) who can’t get off their laptops and phones. By the way, if “shows off” your marriage on the internet it could mean that he’s proud. By using social media (something he obviously likes) to broadcast someone he loves, I’ll bet he’s just trying to share his love with people. Lots of people brag. Usually about what they’re proud of. Next time you have issues, try talking it out instead of stabbing every geek in their back. Just because you don’t want them to be in a relationship doesn’t mean they aren’t people too and need love just as much as you do.

    • AmyLynJoy

      There were a lot of these that related to my geek husband, but none of them were reasons NOT to date or marry him!

      1. Yep, he doesn’t have normal sleeping habits, but I don’t mind having the bed to myself if I’m sleeping. This has in no way affected the intimacy of our relationship.
      2. I have never had this conversation before, but who doesn’t judge someone using “KPIs”? I think everyone has a certain standard for the person they are dating and even if they aren’t using this jargon, they are still trying to evaluate the success a potential long-term relationship.
      3. Yes, it is true that my guy is addicted to technology, but I accept that about him. The key is that when I ask him to put it down or away that he does.
      4. Totally doesn’t apply to me at all. He is busy doing real work on his computer or iPhone, not wasting time checking in. In fact, the other “geeks” in our circle do not feel the need to check in everywhere.
      5. So what if he wears a t-shirt and hoodie 90% of the time? He knows when it is appropriate and when he should dress up a little. I do not see a problem with this at all.
      6. When we started dating I knew nothing about coding. Now I can hold my own in a conversation. I love him and talking about something about which he is incredibly passionate is exciting! It wouldn’t kill you to LEARN a little bit just so you can understand him. Have you ever talked to a significant other about your day at work? It is basically like that.
      7. Call us website snobs, but honestly anyone can build a crappy website. It takes someone that is truly talented to build an amazing one. There are far too many crappy ones out there.
      8. Wow, can’t trust your significant other? Maybe you should stop being a psycho bitch that is ready to throw down and you should stead try to grow up. Coders don’t go to coding retreats and hackathons for the sole purpose of hooking up with someone. They go for the actual purpose of the event (i.e. coding, pair-programming, hacking, etc.)
      9. This is inaccurate for my guy, but this is not geek-specific. There are people that do this everyday and it has nothing to do with their classification in the “social spectrum”.
      10. Dumb.

      So he sits on his computer most of the time working to help support our family and it just so happens that he LOVES his job in software development. There are far too many people that hate their jobs and are not successful in them either way. The key to any relationship, whether it be with a geek or not, is moderation. My guy and I make time for us, for our friends, family, etc. We are both independent people that are fixated on entertaining the other all day. We enjoy our quality time together, but don’t need it to be 24/7.

      I think this entire list was written by a shallow, self-loathing witch. Geeks are just regular people that are passionate about something that apparently you don’t understand. Stop hating on the geeks and get a life.

    • Nixie

      Oh god oh god as a female I’m not sure whether to be crying laughing or tracking down whoever put these misguided ideas of geeks in the writer’s head. Geeks > the average Joe any day.

      • Kim

        Virtual high five on this comment.

    • Rebekah Mae

      Wait….these are cons? Because they sounded a lot like pros to me. Just saying.

    • Sandra

      Oh my God! How old are you? Fifteen!?

    • Lisa

      This is the most laughable list I’ve ever read on a blog. Almost none of these things even apply to actual geeks. Do you even know what a geek is? You’ve only described every guy I know who has a well-paid job. Every banker douchebag I’ve dated dismisses me and is on their phone/computer at all hours. Meanwhile geeks are sweet guys who feel so appreciative of your company they treat you with the utmost respect. This post would make more sense if you were ragging on big-shot assholes, but you really have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.

      • Geeks are awesome

        You tell him, ma’am.

      • jo

        she’s not gonna take her panties off for her, geek white knight.

    • Veronica

      Between this and the train wreck of “The Ten Men You’ll Date Before You’re 30″ I really think The Gloss should reconsider this woman’s position on the staff.
      I’m loathe to be a hater behind the mask of internet anonymity, but this ‘writer’ is glaringly incompetent. Articles like these really bring down the overall quality of this website and discourage me from reading every day. Maybe I should just stick to checking The Grindstone. I’m far less likely to have my intelligence and taste insulted there.

    • GeekGuy

      The author of this piece is a goofy bitch.

    • Meggy Weggy

      I’m back! Glad to see the shitstorm was delivered – it is delicious.

    • Kayla

      Making fun of your audience isn’t going to win you any fans.

    • idiot cleanup

      mark zuckerberg? seriously? fuck you.

    • Chuck (a Geek)

      Something to consider author, don’t blame Geeks if your picker is broke. And just so you embarrass yourself by Googling (a Geek trait, does that mean you are one to avoid?) the term picker. It is that thing inside your head that you use to pick the ones you date.

    • s

      Congratulations on one of the worst pieces of journalism I’ve ever had the misfortune of reading.

    • David Schiefer

      What a shallow and dumb article.

    • bignardz101

      wow fail article you just picked the wrong one obviously

    • Natalie

      This is so stupid. N0ne of this is true about my boyfriend (and he is a geek). Also, even if it is true for some guys none of these reasons should stop you from dating a geek because they do make awesome boyfriends

      • Nerds rule

        You must be prejudiced about geeks aND NERDS. FYI, not all of them are bad people. In fact, they’re better to be with than jocks ‘cuz those stereotypical athletes are small-minded, immature, and troublesome bullies.

      • Nerds rule

        I’m sorry that I mistook you, Natialie, for a nerd hater. I htought that you were badmouthing enrds and geeks. But I was wrong. It’s the author of the article who’s wrong ‘cuz he’s closed-minded. Therefore, he must be one of the nerd-hating jocks.

    • http://profiles.google.com/irohawk Iroshi Windwalker

      I started to write a witty criticism of this article…except that it got a lot longer than the article itself. So I posted it elsewhere instead.

      http://iroshi.livejournal.com/844557.html

    • http://www.smudg.in/ Jon Schuster

      This article should be renamed to “10 Reasons Why You Should Never Date Mark Zuckerberg”, rather than it’s current title. I can’t honestly say that ANY of this would apply to any “geek”, at least not to the point where it would become an annoyance to anyone else. Some of these items can even apply to those who are NOT geeks. Way to fail, bitch.

    • Person #0137

      Honestly, I applaud this article for one simple reason – the people who find many of these things mentioned here problematic (or in some cases, find them to be true) really should NOT date geeks. Geeks deserve better.

    • Jim

      Sounds like Brandy here may have gone on a date with a so-called geek who was a self obsessed narcissist and painted all of us as being as bad as the one geek she dated or saw on “Big bang theory”.
      It’s idiots like her who’s disjointed rants posing as journalism causing confirmation bias which makes it difficult for regular folks to find happiness.

    • DBatman

      You can’t possibly even know what you are talking about what you said about nerds is totally wrong and you are making things harder for us we can’t even barely get a girl so if we do I why would we only focus on your back end you know nothing of us nerds or geeks

    • DBatman

      You can’t possibly even know what you are talking about what you said about nerds is totally wrong and you are making things harder for us we can’t even barely get a girl so if we do I why would we only focus on your back end you know nothing of us nerds or geeks