• Tue, Mar 13 2012

Here Are Some Of The Most Annoying Things Your Friends Can Do While Getting Ready To Go Out

3. Please never open your Facebook page and ask me to look at it. Nothing makes my vagina dry up faster than someone uttering the phrase, “Oh my God, let me just pull this up and show you.” Every single time that happens, I get the overwhelming feeling that I’ve just snorted a Xanax — my eyes glaze over, my mind seems to travel miles and miles away, and time is suddenly meaningless.

I think the effect comes from simultaneously knowing that the next 30 minutes are going to be like social media waterboarding, but at the same time knowing that I’m going to have to pretend to care.

4. Jumping on the bed is not for grown-ups. It’s at this point that I would have left.

5. So after all that, you don’t go out? No. This isn’t a thing. If I’ve endured your indecision about your own closet, your Facebook page, and your singing into a hairbrush like you’re recreating some sort of goddamn Molly Ringwald montage, your ass is going out. And you’re going to fucking have fun. And so the fuck am I.

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  • Zooey

    hah no to the awkwardly strutting around in outfits for each other, great as it would be to pretend that i am Carrie Bradshaw and I’m moving from my super nice apartment to an even nicer one with my fiance and have to, for some reason, decide which of my super crazy 80s clothes get to come. since that is not my life, it turns more into us picking clothes prior to such event, and putting on makeup and said clothes together, and occasionally acting like the people in this video. still fun, nothing to be ashamed of, even if i am getting too old for it!

  • Trisha

    wow…the lady who wrote this article is a very angry person…

    • Jessica Pauline Ogilvie

      It’s true, Trisha, I am so very angry about all of this, and I am also a lady.

    • Jennifer Wright

      Shine on, you lady, you.

  • Kayla

    I’m 21 and this is pretty close to how me and my best friend behave before going out. We have fun deciding what to wear, Facebook stalking our mutual friends, and being all around ridiculous. It is just the way some women choose to prepare for a fun night out and while we have never sang into hairbrushes or jumped on the bed, I can’t say that we never will. Getting ready to go out can be just as much fun as actually being out. :D

  • Penny

    I’m 22, and this is dead on accurate for me. Although normally we dance on the furniture instead of jumping on it.