Recently engagedÂ person Jessica BielÂ gets the cover andÂ Lynn Hirschberg treatment for W magazine’s April issue. Inside, the actress discusses rebellion on the set of family values cornerstoneÂ Seventh Heaven, her fondness for The Goonies (where she spouts that “I never identified with girls” claptrap we always find so shitty) and playing with Barbies. Specifically, she cops to making them have sex:
W: Did you have Barbies?
Biel: I did, but it was always, â€śLetâ€™s play sex with Barbies!â€ť My Barbies were usually naked. Once, I took their heads off, cut their hair, drew on their short, spiky hair with some markers, then stuck the heads on Christmas lights. Every year, weâ€™d string our tree with those Barbie heads. It looked demonic. My parents were so coolâ€”they saw it as a form of self-expression.
So, at least in this regard, Biel does identify with other girls, because she played with Barbies in exactly the same way that every girl did (relate to that, famous actress!).
…We didn’t have Barbies growing up (we preferred the pristine, orderly world of German brandÂ Playmobil) but whenever we went to friends’ houses, someone was always squishing naked ones together. Come on, guys, admit it.