Jessica Biel Admits She Used To Make Her Barbies Have Sex

Recently engaged person Jessica Biel gets the cover and Lynn Hirschberg treatment for W magazine’s April issue. Inside, the actress discusses rebellion on the set of family values cornerstone Seventh Heaven, her fondness for The Goonies (where she spouts that “I never identified with girls” claptrap we always find so shitty) and playing with Barbies. Specifically, she cops to making them have sex:

W: Did you have Barbies?
Biel: I did, but it was always, “Let’s play sex with Barbies!” My Barbies were usually naked. Once, I took their heads off, cut their hair, drew on their short, spiky hair with some markers, then stuck the heads on Christmas lights. Every year, we’d string our tree with those Barbie heads. It looked demonic. My parents were so cool—they saw it as a form of self-expression.

So, at least in this regard, Biel does identify with other girls, because she played with Barbies in exactly the same way that every girl did (relate to that, famous actress!).

…We didn’t have Barbies growing up (we preferred the pristine, orderly world of German brand Playmobil) but whenever we went to friends’ houses, someone was always squishing naked ones together. Come on, guys, admit it.

(W, Zimbio)

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    • Kit

      how the hell else are you supposed to play with them?

    • Kay

      I think my Barbie play was vastly different. I grew up on telenovelas, so my Barbies enjoyed betraying one another, pushing each other off stairs, stealing each other’s boyfriends/husbands/babies, and being generally treacherous.

      I don’t think I came across the concept of sex until I was at least 12…so there was no Barbie mashing for me.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        If I could promote this comment, I would. Hard.

      • Brenda

        Kay, I’m right there with you. I also grew up with telenovelas and acted them ALL out with my barbies. Lies, deceit, and drama. Except that I sharpied Ken’s hair dark and added a mustache, so he could be more macho.

      • Ara

        I feel like maybe our barbie play wasn’t vastly different after all Kay.

      • Ara

        I think my spice girl barbies were especially treacherous. Though, admittedly, Cool-Shavin’ Ken was a bit of a man whore.

    • misenhammer

      My barbies usually did the nasty to a backstreet boys tape I had. It was super intense.

      I recently found a big bag of my old barbies in the attic, but rats had chewed a bunch of them up and peed all over them. I felt oddly guilty.

    • Cleo

      My barbies were all career-driven success stories with the social lives of loners. No drama.

    • dedethejoker

      when i was little i always pretended my barbies were having sex because some girls don’t have ken dolls so mainly the reason but when i was 12 my mom bought me a ken doll so my barbies don’t have sex anymore!