Crowdsourcing Difficult Decisions: Please Help Me Pick A Dress To Wear

Remember when we decided we were going  to just take all the designer gifts, because then we’d be happyAnd Ashley was all “Jesus Christ, Jennifer, you make choices?” She wasn’t really like that. She only talks exactly the way I do in my head. She was like this.

Never mind! Accepting all the gifts is freedom itself! We are flying free like an egret! Or a fabulously bewigged eagle. Yes, free like America itself.

You know who else embodies the American spirit? Probably much better than I do? Ralph Lauren. Who just offered a lovely dress from their upcoming summer Lauren by Ralph Lauren collection. Please help me decide which one to take. Do this so that 1) if you, like Ashley, think that accepting gifts betrays a slight lack of integrity, you can pick one that will make me look like a hilarious monster-person and 2) I do not have to make decisions, because making decisions about awesome stuff is hard.

I’ve narrowed it down to a few. I will say that I think the orange one (pictured above) is pretty great – I love a dress that can go from work to a party. However! I am worried that a shade that bright will look crazy with my coloring. I’m pretty pale skinned, and generally wear a lot of blacks, whites and blues. This is what I look like.

Sorry! This poll is now closed.


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    • JaneM

      It sounds like you’d never buy the sparkly one, but it would look great on you (from what I’ve seen of you from pictures?) Get that one.

    • Sean

      Dark hair, dark eyes…purple might work, but how purple is purple?

      Are we talking pale purple, or Grimace from McDonald’s purple?

      • Jennifer Wright

        Borgia Pope purple.

      • Sean

        Then I say the purple one. That’d look elegant and yet not overstated.

        In other words, awesome.

    • Kj

      Team orange! It’s funky, versatile, and orange is the colour of the season! (Or so said the girl at the shoe store who sold me those expensive orange shoes!)

    • K

      I say go with your first instinct. Orange!

    • Fabel

      The purple would look great on you, I think. I’m pale with dark hair as well & purple is basically the only COLOR I’ll wear (black, white, & neutrals is what I tend towards, and they are colors, but they aren’t COLORS) However, I also think you could pull off the orange really well. And I think those sleeves (on the orange) are awesome.

    • Winter

      Go Team Tangerine! First pic that I saw when I opened the site today was your gleeful grin in the orange dress, and it was just so purdy. If that dress makes you smile like that all the time, then its a no brainer.

      • Winter

        That awkward moment the third second after you publish your comment and realise that Jennifer isn’t the lady in the photo… yeah that.

      • Jennifer Wright

        If I wear it, I’ll look exactly like the model though, right? RIGHT?

        (I knew that was going to confuse people! But I really wanted a picture that showed how the sleeves worked, because I think they’re its best feature, and you really don’t see them when it’s on the hanger).

    • Naomi

      Sparkle! Sparkle! Sparkle! SPARKLE! Always choose sparkle’s and sequins.

      Ok, so not the most insightful comment….but SPARKLES!

    • caroline

      I was torn between orange and sparkle. Orange because you love it, obvi, and sparkle because you love it but you’d never buy it, so why not get it free? I’ve bought that item before – the one you love so much you swear you’ll find an event for. Still in the closet. Go orange.

    • E.K.W.

      I’d say the silver one, but you’d definitely get more wear out of the purple one – and it will look pretty with your dark hair. So jealous because they’re all gorgeous!

    • Leila

      Orange is tricky! If you’re not sure about the coloring, I’d go with a different dress. And you’d look great in purple, but if you’re like me, you already have something exactly like that dress in your closet.

      If you don’t wear sparkles but would like to be the kind of person who does, the first step to this is owning a dress with sparkles (and that one is gorgeous).

      All that said, I have to go with the polka dots. It’s classy, basic but also enough flair to be fashionable without going out of style quickly. Something you might not risk buying yourself, but you’d look great in. Also, retro, you know you love it. It looks super flexible in terms of which functions you could wear it to as well. POLKA DOTS FTW!

    • Meghan Keane

      I protest the premise of this poll. They are all great and would look terrific on you.

    • Abena

      Go with a dress you love, but would never buy for yourself. The purple one would look stunning on you, but if I remember correctly you said it’s like the rest of your wardrobe. That said, also go with something that you’d still wear. Obviously it’s fun to have such a lovely piece of clothing in your wardrobe, but it ends up being silly if you’re not comfortable wearing it. (I voted for the sparkly one. I think it’s gorgeous and would look great on you.)

    • pamela

      Go with the purple. It’ll last more then two seasons, travel well, look different with a good selection of accessories. And, most importantly, the color will work with you, not against you, no matter what color your skin is at the moment.
      The orange right now is cute, trendy and you’ve paired it with great accessories, but really, how many times will you be able to wear it?

      Lastly, it’s interesting that your making comments on the morality of taking the goods…

      • porkchop

        Oh, yes, practicality. That’s the way to enjoy free clothing.

    • porkchop

      The white dress should not be. It looks just enough like Marilyn to remind how uptight Ralph Lauren is compared to Travilla. It’s like a dress where men see your skirt fly up and can’t help but imagine you just lying there during sex.

      Go for the orange! I have pale skin and wear this color–my smile distracts people from my corpse-like pallor.

    • Sam

      Go with the purple! It’s simple, yet elegant. You’ll update with your decision, correct?

      Also- you are my favorite on this site. Absolute fave.

    • denny

      Honestly, it’s hard to say without seeing them all on you. I love the orange one, though. I have the same skin coloring as you and if I had that dress, I would wear it all the time. PS, you do look like a model.

    • Eagle Eye

      I would like to be someone who wears sparkles, alas, I own no sparkles because I can never rationalize the hefty price tag that always accompanies sparkly outfits – however, this dress is free so
      ipso facto Sparkles!

      • Nessy

        Discount stores (à la Ross or T.J. Maxx…and if you can find a Gabriel Brothers, hie the there, it is amazing) are your sparkly friends. You have to look out for flaws, but the price is worth the effort. And if you can’t find a dress, sparkly accessories await!
        Sorry I’m kind of obnoxious; I’m a discount magpie.

    • Lauren

      I would either go with the orange dress or the sparkle dress. I think you would want to get something that you would want but not normally buy since it’s free!

    • Lindsey

      Get the sparkle one. It’s sparkly but the dress shape is classy as fuck. You would look fantastic in it. You are gorgeous. You would look great in any of these. (Then, buy the orange one?)

      Also, you should post a picture of your beautiful self in whatever dress you buy.

      Also, you should post a picture of your beautiful self in a gas mask and a bikini. That should be a calendar. “Women of the gloss in bikinis and gas masks.” I would buy it.

    • Ashley Cardiff

      Where is the “No dress / You are a consumptive monster” poll option?

      • jen

        You got a snort-laugh outta me.

      • Jennifer Wright

        Because it’s all you shout at me in the office all day.

    • Ninargh

      Polka-dots are the way forward!

    • Lindsey

      The orange one!

    • Elizabeth

      Go with the orange, because Pantone declared Tangerine Tango the “Color of the Year.” If you pick that one, Pantone might send you some free stuff, too.

      • Jennifer Wright


    • Kay

      The orange one! If you don’t get it, I will…someday. It’s so pretty!

    • Nessy

      Oh, Hells Bells! What is it with everyone and practicality? The dress is free and Jennifer is a consumptive monster, yes? So Jenniferget the silver one and slink around your apartment sipping champagne.

      • Nessy

        Tsk, tsk. Drunker than I thought. Please disregard this comment as the one above it was meant for publishing.

    • Nessy

      Oh, Hells Bells! What is it with everyone and practicality? The dress is free and Jennifer is a consumptive monster, no? So, Jennifer, I suggest you get the silver one and slink around your apartment sipping champagne while shaming poor folk. It will be AMAZING.

    • Penny

      I have no problem with you accepting gifts of any kind…but just choose one and get on with it. This isn’t an article, it’s poorly-disguised self-indulgence.

    • lilli

      definitely either sparkly or white. a lot of why ralph lauren is so beloved is because their things hang so well. that said, the dresses which look like they drape really nicely (like the purple, orange, and polka dots) also look different off the hanger.

    • rose

      I see so many Louis Vuitton bags. It makes me nuts. I usually don’t care what people carry, that is their business, but I cannot understand wanting a bag that (almost) everyone has. I really cannot believe how many of these I see. Louis Vuitton must be making a fortune!