• Mon, Mar 19 2012

You Aren’t Taylor Momsen, Take Off The Ripped Tights

You know what I think of when I see ripped stockings? Taylor Momsen. That’s right, I don’t care how trendy you think that you are, I think of obnoxious, angsty teenagers when you walk around with holes in your tights as if you’re defying the Man.

When this whole post-modern goth trend started, I shook my head and hoped it would go away. Like the sudden resurgence in acid-washed jeans. We would get through this together. A couple unfortunate souls might be lost along the way, but people would get a grip after a while.

And yet, walking through the city last week, ripped tights were still everywhere! It was 70 degrees and sunny. You didn’t even need to be wearing tights, which was probably a good thing because holes in your clothing don’t tend to help with warmth. And there they were, strutting through the streets as if they belonged. Stupid holey hosiery.

A certain friend of mine named Jen was trying to defend these obviously terrible choices. “Well, if I got a hole in my tights in the middle of the day, I might be walking around like that. Just until I could get home and throw the things away.” That Jen, always being nice to everyone.

“No, you wouldn’t,” I reminded her. “You would take the things off and throw them away right there. Or you would go buy new tights! Immediately!” I’m sorry, but those aren’t all accidental runs from random pieces of velcro that you never really understand where it came from. Thousands of women did not put a nail through their tights after using the restroom. People are wearing these things on purpose.

Remember how everyone made fun of distressed denim? Don’t get me wrong, I wore it as a teenager too. But then we realized that looking unkept wasn’t exactly flattering. We got over it. We started to expect clothing without holes in it. Guess what guys? This is exact same thing. I mean, identical situations. Huge holes up and down your legs, whether in tights or in denim, still screams one of two things: “My mommy didn’t love me enough,” or “I really, really want to be trendy!”

Let’s all agree. “Worn and ruined” is no longer a style aesthetic. Distressed hosiery belongs on people who wear corsets and lingerie as if it’s normal clothing. And unless you’re a bleached mess of rebellion, there’s just no need to walk around with holes in your tights.

(Photo: Luuux)

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  • Lindsey

    “people who where corsets” should be wear.

    I was sort of agreeing sort of disagreeing until that last part. I wear my stockings even if there are little runs, partially because I think it looks ok, partially because the stocking I wear are too expensive to toss every time there’s a run. I toss them when the hole forms, though.

    But yeah, there are so many lace tights out there where someone can get an interesting look on the bottom without looking like a cheap skank like me.

    • Lindsay Cross

      Thank you for catching my where/wear nonsense! It has been fixed.

      And even with runs in your stockings, I promise that I don’t think that you’re a skank.

  • Ruby

    Are you even a writer, what kind of shit is this

  • vomiting

    ‘Let’s all agree. “Worn and ruined” is no longer a style aesthetic.’

    Thanks, bitch, I’ll pass this on to the poor and homeless for you.

    • Cate

      Yes, but she isn’t referring to the poor and homeless. She’s referring to people who presumably have homes and some sort of income who deliberately compromise the structural integrity of their clothes to present a certain aesthetic. It’s basically the low end of Derelicte, rather than someone who wears clothes with naturally occurring holes because they have no other options.

  • Really.

    And I’m sure you’re such the style icon. Get off the computer, let the angsty teenagers do what they want, and find something else to whine about. Because chances are, they still look hotter than you.

  • marla

    I wear corsets and all in a regular basis. Not really a holed tights person but why do you care what others wear. Let them do whatever they want.

  • Helene Sirinakis

    This article is utterly stupid. Everyone likes different things and has a different taste in style so for you to fucking write an article about what is “obviously not the right choice in fashion” is fucking pathetic. People who are “grunge” are usually trying NOT to make a fashion statement. They simply where what is comfortable and best suited for the weather. If you don’t like it that’s fine but you sound like an egotistical, obnoxious, little rich brat. People are going to wear what they want whether you “agree” with it or not.

    • elizabeth

      i saw a young woman wearing Thick Black opaque Tights that were ripped just last week in a shopping centre…i said “YOUNG LADY CAN I HAVE A WORD..yes she replied…YOUR TIGHTS ARE A DISGRACE !! I WANT YOU TO TAKE THEM OFF …err sorry but what..? I DEMAND YOU TO TAKE THEM OFF !! ..i am quite threatning when i want to be , this girl got pretty scared ..she took them off handed them to me and i dropped them in the nearest bin !!

  • Helene Sirinakis

    Also you come off somewhat illiterate due to typos and incomplete thoughts and sentences. You should really get a life.

  • Sariah

    Just because you personally wouldn’t wear something doesn’t mean you have the right to be so judgemental about other people.

    “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

  • elizabeth

    i detest Ripped Black Tights even if its a small tiny hole or run ..more so than any other colour , and at my age 65 i know better ..once while waiting in a bus shelter a young woman in her twenties wearing Thick Black Opaque Tights sat next to me , as she crossed her legs i noticed a hole of about 1″ in her upper thigh , it just annoyed me more and more , i dropped my shopping bag on the floor [on purpose] and as i went to pick it up i pretended to loose my balance and put my hand on her thigh and pulled with all my might at the hole in her tights ,ripping them all the way from her thigh to her ankle !! it felt so good