Do You Have A Favorite Depressed Lady Song? (We Made You A Mix Tape.)

It’s not so much a mix-tape because TheGloss staff is not 15, it’s not 2001, and we’re not trying to ask you to homecoming. We’re just trying to share some super cool music that we listen to while staring out windows drinking scotch pensively. Arm yourself with some cream cheese and book yourself into the Essex House for a week before breaking this out. Alternatively, host parties wherein you play only the following. Theme that party. For the sake of appropriateness, make the theme “a terrible party.”

Billie Holiday, an actual depressed person.

The Magnetic Fields singing about Billie Holiday. Presumably, they are not a bunch of sunshine kiddies themselves.

Not as much about literal Maps as you might expect.

I know you think you’re the Queen of the Underground. (Ashley and I have concurred that Wild Horses is MUCH more depressing, we just really like this song).

Jamie correctly points out that this song is FUCKING DEVASTATING.

Maybe nothing is sadder than falling off a mobile home.

This is one of my favorite sad songs and I am pretty fucking psyched that there is a comment on the youtube video that reads “Why does this song remind me of the Duchess of Marlboro (Consuelo Vanderbilt)?” Because you and I are the same person, absolutely crazy listener. Also, this song clearly has nothing to do with Consuelo Vanderbilt.

Universal agreement: this song will make you kill yourself.

“Anything by Sharon Van Etten” is also a fair answer.

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    • Caroline

      I submit “Cardinal Song” by The National and “Anybody Wanna Take Me Home” by Ryan Adams. And Beth Orton. My list is extensive and I frequently host these parties.

    • Lizzie

      Sadness is a Blessing, and everything else by Lykke Li works too :)
      and I second Cardinal Song

    • alma

      A Fine Frenzy “almost lover” :,(

      Thumbs up to whom ever chose the Calendar hung itself

      • Jennifer Wright


    • Lemona

      Does the time I sang and played John Denver’s “I’m Sorry” on the piano over and over and over, count as a theme party? I’m pretty sure the neighbors felt like they had been invited to a terrible party.

      • Jennifer Wright

        Why don’t you ever invite me when you do fun things?

      • Lemona

        Because I knew that eventually I start playing the Bee Gee’s “Heartbreaker” and I didn’t think you’d approve.

    • MR

      Try a sad Joni Mitchell song. My first college girlfriend played the piano, and we’d go to the campus performing arts center, and she’d play me Joni piano tunes all the time- the not so sade ones. Yes, I never made her blue.

    • Peppercorn

      “Weeping Willow Blues” by Bessie Smith and “October”-played on repeat for hours, mind you- by U2. Oh, and pretty much everything instrumental and effervescent by Sigur Ros.

    • L

      On the “So you wanna cry play list”
      -”Master and a hound” Gregory Alan Isakov
      -”Over and over” Rachel Yamagata
      “Pedals” The Love Language
      -The entire “For Emma forever ago” album Bon Iver
      -Everything by Sharon van Etten, but especially “Don’t do it”

    • Sarah!

      When I broke up with my college boyfriend I listened to Amy Winehouse’s “Back in Black” on repeat probably like 400 times. I even put it on a tape so I could listen to it in the car. (lol) Especially I Wake Up Alone:

    • Ellen W.

      I’m so sorry I can’t really contribute to this because my go-to song for super-depression is Cartman singing Styx’s “Sailing Away.”

    • Karen

      YES! Have loved “Dead Flowers” for a lifetime. Along with “Far Away Eyes” and “Used to Love Her” (GnR) HA! Does this say about me that I’m secretly anti-female? Holy crap.