• Tue, Apr 24 2012

Why Is It Suddenly Cool To Hate On Skinny Girls?

“Curvy girls got it goin on, skinny chicks are nasty.” That’s an example of a popular type of facebook status update I’ve seen in recent days.  Now, as a curvy girl, I appreciate the part that says “curvy girls got it goin on”. But I hate the “skinny chicks are nasty” part.

It seems that in recent years, our society has opened up to talking about curves, loving them, showing them off and embracing our inner Marilyn Monroes. How rad is that?! Pretty rad, I say.  But there’s been huge backlash against skinny girls.  I’ve seen comments on Facebook such as “she needs to eat!  disgusting!” along with “girl looks nasty, why is she starving herself?”  Keep in mind these are comments that people are posting on photos of real people!  Real people, on facebook, on their own profile pages. Presumably people who have emotions, and are vulnerable, just like you and me.

Now, I understand people’s concerns about anorexia and bulimia.  I also understand concerns about obesity.   Anorexia, bulimia, and overeating are diseases, just like alcoholism and drug addiction. They are problems that usually need medical attention, support groups, etc. to overcome.  I am not trying to undermine the seriousness of these diseases.

But disapproving of those diseases is very different than hating on skinny girls. It makes no sense to tell smaller framed women that they are ugly, while simultaneously praising curvy girls. After all, isn’t the whole point of saying that curves are beautiful is to celebrate women and their various body types? What we’re saying when we say that curves are beautiful is that ALL bodies are beautiful. The message should help ease women’s self-conscious tendencies in this age where women’s bodies are critiqued, scrutinized, and discussed every day and in every way.

But that message isn’t being communicated. Take this meme for example.  I saw this posted and reposted probably ten times (all by curvy girls) and every time I did, I just wanted to scream “How do you think this makes the skinny girl feel?”

I have many friends who are naturally thin.  Like, size 2 naturally thin.  One of my friends in particular has an amazing body and always has.  She’s very athletic, but when she goes through periods where she’s not exercising regularly and is eating a bag of Oreos a day.  She just has one of those bodies.  So how do you think she feels when she looks at a picture with the caption “skinny isn’t in”?  She can’t help her skinny body type any more than a curvy woman can help hers.  And she is beautiful.

Do we really need to validate our own curviness by putting others down?  I suppose a lot of the justification for doing so is  “well, it’s not healthy.  They clearly have a health problem that needs to be addressed.  They’re obviously starving themselves, and they need help.”

To which I say, a lot of skinny girls are just naturally skinny: it’s called genetics.  And also, even if they are starving themselves, how is it any of our business?  That is an issue that should be discussed between the woman and her doctor.  It’s not our place to post all over Facebook that skinny girls need help and are ugly.

As a woman (a curvy woman, remember!) I am fucking proud of my body.  And I will say that to the world.  But I think skinny girls should feel just as proud of their figures as I do -  because they are beautiful women, too.

This is a reader submission. You can follow Sabrina on Twitter @SabrinaCrockett

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  • Nancy

    As a fellow curvy girl, I totally agree with this. I also remember talking to some girls in high school who were naturally verrry skinny, and they felt bad about themselves. They hated when people called them ‘skinny’ and would drink lots of “Boost” and would go to the doctor any everything to try to gain weight, not because they were unhealthy, just because people would freely insult them.

    • Sabrina Crockett

      I had similar experiences in high school with some of my classmates. On the curvy side, they felt bad about themselves because they thought people saw them as fat. On the skinny side, they felt bad about themselves because they thought people saw them as too thin. Hopefully if humans just stop insulting each other freely, we might not feel so bad about ourselves! Thank you for sharing

    • olidgol

      Ugh. I am 5’7” and a NATURAL size 0. My mother made me drink Ensure when from the time I was 9 because I was so “unhealthy looking”. Thanks, mom.

    • crunchymama731

      My mom did the same. Mentally abusive bull shit. I think it stemmed from her own insecurity/jealousy over her daughters. She never took care of her own body (alcoholic, chain smoker, diet pill popper, never exercised or ate a natural meal in her life). I’m now pregnant and have gained a lot of weight (which is good, it means I’ll have some reserves to breast feed for a few months), and she gets WAY too overly excited every time she asks how much weight I have gained. I never tell her. Makes me want to smack her every time that she relishes what she sees as something that has the potential to make me insecure. My body was skinny before, I didn’t need my own damn mother making me feel insecure about it. It’s bigger now because it’s serving the purpose of growing a human. I’m proud of the fact that I can care for my body and baby better than she ever did. I’ve decided if I have a girl, the first time my mother tries to f*ck with my body image (or my daughter’s) in my child’s presence will be the last time she has contact with any of us.

  • Jon

    i don’t know about “cool” but i definitely understand why people hate on skinny girls so freely: they’re fucking skinny. it doesn’t give them the right to do so but they’ll obviously get less criticized than if they were to comment negatively on fat girls.

  • Cee

    Well. While, I have a preference to curvy girls, I don’t think skinny girls are ugly. I can appreciate the beauty of a thin girl,yet my attention will always be drawn to curvy girls. I think the “hate” on skinny girls comes from a fear that they might be thin for an unhealthy eating habits (which can also be said about curvy women) and people think they are helping them by telling them this is not attractive and that curvy is attractive. They think they are doing them a service and helping some random eating disorder that they think thing girls have by telling them to be curvy.

    Also, curvy girls are not often seen on magazines and runways.Magazines photoshop people to make them thinner, which in turn, tells curvy girls that they are not wanted. Curvy models become thin (The Renn) , so while we curvy girls become very excited to see curves embraced. I guess some of the more overzealous and sensitive become afraid when thin girls are embraced because they feel that curvy girls will once again have to take the backseat.

    • Sabrina Crockett

      True dat! And there’s nothing wrong with having a preference in my book… to each his own. As long as we aren’t bashing each other and putting others’ bodies down. Curvy women are beautiful, skinny women are beautiful, and all that’s in between! And I too wish both were represented more in the mainstream media.

  • Rachael

    THANK YOU for writing this! You just put a huge smile on my face. As someone who is genetically thin it really upsets me to see this whole hating-on-skinny-women thing happening. I can’t help the fact that my genes make me look the way I do any more than a naturally curvaceous woman can help it. How do people think it feels for me to read things like “Real women have curves”? That implies I am less of a woman than someone else who has larger breasts, bigger hips, a rounder ass. I dislike being made to feel less sexy than someone else because I wasn’t born with 34 DDs. I definitely think there needs to be more size and shape diversity in fashion and advertising, but belitting someone else’s body type is not the way to do it. ALL women are beautiful, whether they’re skinny, curvy, or somewhere in between.

  • Lilac

    Being thin I get alot of hate that i just don’t understand. It really hurts my feelings and self esteem and the only thing that helps is knowing that deep down some of these curvy girl (not all) but some are just really jealous. Calling us nasty or ugly for just being thin is really hateful and upsetting.

    • Sabrina Crockett

      You’re beautiful! Never forget that!

  • tanveer

    I totally agree with the post – no shd be made to feel bad about themselves.

    Some of the backlash maybe due to certain celeb comments celebrating skinny bodies in recent times.. Since curvy girls have been under immense pressure they are just hitting back now.. Does that make it right? Definitely no..

  • Maggie

    Honestly, I think the skinny vs. curvy debate is just another sick way to pit women against each other; we’re shown that in order to feel good about ourselves, we have to put down someone else who is different from us. Beauty is made into a competition rather than something that comes naturally to every, yes EVERY, woman, regardless of size and shape.

    • Marissa

      Much more concise than me, Maggie. I second that!

    • Sabrina Crockett

      YES!

  • Marissa

    I hardly think it’s “suddenly cool” to hate on skinny girls. Remember the Nike campaign, “real women have curves”? This has been going on for sometime.

    As someone with high metabolism, I’m accustomed to the backlash. In high school, guys would tell me and a friend how much “hotter” we would be if we gained weight. In college, I regularly had random people at the bar tell me I needed to eat a cheeseburger, and I let it completely ruin my night, even leaving places in tears. Even now, after I finally gained enough pounds to not have a BMI considered “underweight”, my coworkers regularly comment on how I need to gain weight, always encouraging me to eat another piece of their birthday cake or another doughnut. The difference now is that I realize all of those comments say way more about the person than they do about me.

    Look at those people posting the internet memes. My fb “friends” posting them aren’t just curvy, they’re obsese. Often morbidly obese. And honestly, I don’t really care if they want to post that if it makes them feel better. Because in this day and age, it’s pretty easy to see and hear that you’re unattractive, and virtually NO ONE seems happy with their size.

    Seven out of my eight roommates over the years have had food issues. One had full-blown bulemia…one had “food allergies” that included chicken, beef, corn and wheat (she was also a kosher jew), and they suddenly disappeared along with her kosherness two years later after she got on an anti-depressive. Two ate compulsively. All were different shapes and sizes.

    And the after school special’s lesson is… it’s not so much about reaching some ideal weight because I’m pretty sure that doesn’t exist. You really have to find self-worth outside of your weight and appearance. I figure it”s all going to go down the drain in 50 years, anyway, so when that happens, you better have confidence in something other than what celebrity’s body you resemble.

    Sorry for the rant!

    • Sabrina Crockett

      Rant away!

      And “I figure it’s all going to go down the drain in 50 years, anyway” made me laugh…

    • Ann

      It’s NOT going down the drain in 50 years!! I’m 55 years old and after having 3 kids, I still weigh the same as when I was 20. I love this post and all the comments! I too have been insulted my entire life because I am so naturally slim. And my metabolism has not slowed down with age, even now during menopause, I can still eat whatever whenever . but women are so catty and nasty. Believe me, the comments will only get worse as you age, because women who get overweight during middle age will be jealous of the fact that someone is naturally thin. Those who put you down are only trying to make you purposely feel bad. After a lifetime of letting these rude people affect me, I no longer let their comments bother me.

  • LCT

    THANK YOU!!!!

    I’ve been saying this for years. I’ve always been skinny (not just slender), as a result of genes and being a long distance runner for years. I haven’t trained much since high school, but my metabolism stuck in overdrive. From all of us skinny girls, let me tell you: we are JUST as insecure about our bodies as anyone else. Calling us “not real women” really hurts. I’ve gone through many years of feeling unsexy, because I didn’t have “anything for guys to grab onto.”

    I wholeheartedly support getting rid of this kind of degrading language. No woman should feel less-than because of her shape. Our bodies should not define us!

    • Sabrina Crockett

      Thank you for sharing your personal experiences. You are damn fine, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

  • T-Lex

    “Do we really need to validate our own curviness by putting others down? ” This is really the take away its not about one being better than the other but that people are different and different is beautiful.

  • Lo

    Variety’s the thing. The current beauty standard seems to be very young, very thin girls, so then there’s the backlash against naturally thin people. The problem, of course, is that there’s a standard at all. I’d dearly love to see, say, a high-fashion show using models of different shapes and sizes, because no one body shape suits every type of outfit. There’s no ideal.

    I don’t think the insults are going to go away until we start appreciating physical differences. Good place to start: get everyone into life-drawing classes.

  • Crystal

    As a 5’2 105 lb, naturally thin girl, I would like to thank you for approaching this topic. I’ve always felt insecure for not having an hourglass figure, and campaigns promoting the importance of curves to a woman’s attractiveness have left me feeling excluded. It seems as though there’s no way to win really. We should all take personal responsibility for the types of comments that we make about other women and their figures. We have a personal taste but there is never any point in “body shaming” someone who doesn’t fit our ideal. People who do that on a regular basis probably have not come to terms with their own body.

  • Megan

    THANK YOU for this post. I’ve been skinny all my life and that’s just how I am. I am all about campaigns to raise self esteem, but not if it means putting down others. That’s why I was so offended when I heard about the Zero Is Not A Size campaign. It is a size. I wear it. There’s nothing wrong with being skinny and campaigns to increase self esteem need to factor in ALL body types, EVEN if that particular body type is popular or unpopular. I see so many skinny chick put downs on facebook. Like “A Woman without curves is like jeans without pockets. where would you put your hands?” I know it’s stupid to get mad about stupid stuff, but all I wanted to do was shout that my husband has no problem cuddling with me! If I posted stuff like that in reverse I’d have a mob of angry people to contend with.
    So again, thank you for this post.

    • Sabrina Crockett

      It’s not stupid stuff! And hey, the jeans I’m wearing don’t have pockets, and I like them just fine ;)

    • Cam

      Wow really late response but this comment “A Woman without curves is like jeans without pockets. where would you put your hands?” infuriates me.

      So now your body is something that should only be used for someone else’s satisfaction? It doesn’t matter whether or not YOU are comfortable with it? Really?

  • Ellen W.

    It’s not okay to insult someone “because they ‘not healthy. They clearly have a health problem that needs to be addressed’” That is exactly the reasoning people who are mean to bigger-girls (curvy or not) give.

    Hell, you wouldn’t walk up to someone with serious acne and say “You have pepperoni face. It’s so gross.” People do, obviously, but all decent people know that those are nasty, mean people and that it’s wrong.

  • Eileen

    Didn’t Jennifer write a nearly identical article on this same topic maybe a year and a half ago, except using as the skinny-friend example, Lilit and her bagels? I definitely think the article is valid, but it isn’t a “suddenly” thing at all.

  • Mel

    My sister is a size 0 naturally. We eat the same amount (which is a lot, we both love food!) but I am naturally a size 6. I never get comments on my weight or curves or any thing of that sort…but her?? She gets told almost on a daily basis, in a negative way, that she is SO skinny. People tell her to eat more, stop dieting, stop starving herself, etc. If you flipped it around and she was the one telling an overweight woman to stop eating as much, start dieting, etc…there would be an out roar! What makes it social acceptable to hate on skinny girls?

  • meteor_echo

    While I agree that naturally thin women should not be bashed, there’s something that the author of the article sort of misrepresents. It’s the lithe, petite women looking at us from billboards, the pages of magazines, TV screens, you name it. You can’t see a curvy woman in a clothes ad: even the lingerie catalogues feature only the girls with lean, slender hips, slim legs, tiny waists. What’s more, the Hollywood stars who are typically praised for their “seductive” body shape are heavily airbrushed to look more waif-like. The very few instances where you can, in fact, see a curvy woman in media are when you’re looking at photos of plus-size models (and even those don’t really look all that plus-size!). How can you call it anything else than beauty standards aimed at glorifying the smaller body type and making bigger girls feel rejected?

    Speaking of myself: I’ve always been “curvy”. Thick thighs, big ass, nonexistent tits – built pretty much like Venus de Milo. And, ever since I was a kid, I’ve been told that I was ugly, clumsy-looking, homely, disproportional. Even now, every time I look at another clothing ad, I feel like a misshapen clump of flesh, compared to tiny, lithe girls I see there.
    So I guess I can tell you why there’s so much skinny-bashing around: it’s simply a mixture of being tired to hear from media that everyone over size two is “chubby”, and being annoyed at the naturally thin girls who complain about their appearance.

    • Sabrina Crockett

      That’s a good point, and I understand it, but what I was trying to focus on was that bashing someone’s body for being thin is the exact same thing as bashing someone’s body for being curvy. It’s still hurtful, rude, and can cause all of us to go home, look in the mirror, and cry. I am suggesting that maybe we can skip over the part of “curvy chicks are chubby” and now “skinny chicks are gross” and get to the point of “all figures are beautiful.”

      Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate it!

    • Emily

      Meteor has an excellent point. After hearing years (upon decades) of women & the media tell other women that you will be a size 2 or smaller or you are nothing and insignificant in society’s gaze (we see this on tv, on billboards, on clothing lines, everywhere)- well yes: after a certain point (I believe this is called the boiling point) women who cannot meet these unrealistic expectations will lash out, and it hits all skinny women, not just those in the media. Is it right? No. Is it justified. Debatable.
      So I guess to sum up my rambling- after a while, any skinny gal will start looking like a model, and thus be in the line of fire after a bit. So, sorry skinny gals. It’s not you we’re mad at. It’s like yelling at a guy because he looks way too much like an abusive ex boyfriend. Not his fault, but you really can’t help it. We are so sorry, and we know we shouldn’t but damn if we can help it.
      Also, as a skinny (due to medical issues) who used to be overweight, I cannot stand the hatred thrown my way, so I get it. And we should all be considerate people. Call me when that happens.

  • Nicki

    I am and have always been VERY skinny. Collarbone showing, rib showing, chicken leg, hip bone protrude skinny. When I was little kids would make fun of me calling me a monkey b/c of my skinny arms so I never wore short sleeved or sleeveless tops.
    I never wear skirts or shorts b/c I think it looks weird.
    I have tiny boobs (A cup) and have always been insecure about it.
    Insecure with myself and the way my body looks.
    Sometimes I look in the mirror and think to myself…how is this attractive? Who will ever love me looking like this? What do I have to offer as a woman since I don’t have a woman’s body.
    I openly admire a woman’s hips, thighs, breasts, legs, butt, because I think its beautiful and having those features is attractive.
    My body hasn’t begun to get bigger or gain weight or ‘fill out’ yet and I’m 28.
    My friends who have curves and who consider themselves overweight are beautiful to me. I hate when they bash their bodies for cellulite or because they don’t feel they can wear sexy clothing.
    I don’t feel I can wear sexy clothing! There’s nothing to show off!
    THEY have curves and beautiful assets to fill out those clothes with.
    No one’s made fun of me for being so skinny since I was younger–I’m still my worst critic–but it would be awful if they did and contributed to what I think & feel about myself already.

    • L

      *hug* i’d gladly give you some of my fat if i could.

    • meteor_echo

      :(

      I wish we could do a body swap.

    • Sabrina Crockett

      Thank you for sharing. I think it’s easy for us to think the grass is always greener on the other side. You’re beautiful!

    • Maggie

      Aw Nicki, I hate reading stuff like this! I’ve had body issues my whole life, and I understand what it’s like to be unhappy with what you see in the mirror. But eventually I realized that this is my body, so why shouldn’t I love it and be kind to myself? Something I say to myself every day after I get dressed is: I am fucking sexy and beautiful, and I have the confidence to own my body and make this day my bitch. Even if you don’t completely believe it, if you say it enough it’ll get stuck in your head. Above all, love yourself! Sounds cliche, but it’s true. <3

    • andy

      Oh Nikki, thank you. This is my life. 32A-26-35 is not a body I asked for. It’s not a body I want. But it’s the body I have, and it’s the body I struggle every day to love (I’m 31. I’ve been struggling for a good long while now).

      I eat 1800-2000 calories a day (and run about 20 miles a week). My BMI hangs out around 20 (comfortably in the healthy range), but no amount of food will ever give me an hourglass figure, just an increasingly rectangular one.

      One moment to encapsulate all the body angst I’ve had over the years: at 20, I hooked up with a guy I liked desperately. He tried to motorboat my A-cups. They don’t make cleavage even if I lean forward in a push-up bra, and he tried to squash them together from the sides, which still wasn’t enough cleavage bury his nose in. It would have been hilarious if it wasn’t so mortifying. Just one of the many times I’ve fought with myself about whether to get implants (haven’t given in yet).

      We all deserve to be physically and psychologically healthy, and we all fight our own battles on those fronts. Please be respectful of everyone’s right to fight those battles in their own way, and don’t make assumptions or projections that are hurtful to others, whatever they may look like.

  • katphoti

    The meme you posted is I think Kirsten Dunst, who is a celebrity, and who puts herself in the limelight. She actually is much more beautiful when she’s curvy, so I’m happy to insult her if she’s a bony waif. Same with Kiera Knightley and various other celebrities who have gone from very sexy and curvy to living skeletons. THOSE are the people we see everyday, not people on FB pages. I am fat myself and am exercising and eating better to lose weight, and I have suffered from anorexia, and I deal with body image issues everyday. I don’t dare insult anyone that is “real.” But when Hollywood and advertising expect all of us to look like skeletons, you bet your ass I’m going to give them s%$t about it.

    • Shelly

      While I agree scary slimming celebs are a worry, I think you should never insult somone because of it. I doubt any of those women are feeling to good about themselves if they are in that position and if you make them feel worse it’s actually on ly purpetuating the problem you’re contesting.
      We should be lifting them up, making them feel better about the people they are (not that we imapct celebrities lives but in a general attitude manner of speaking).
      Hate on the expectation, but don’t hate on the women who are genuinely suffering under it, they’re probably in very vulnerable mind frames and we could never even begin to understand the pressure they’re under to look this way or that, it’s a problem we deal with on a much smaller scale in comparison.

    • erraticDelirium

      So you’re going to give girls who are naturally thin shit about their natural bodies because you are tired of Hollywood?
      Seems a bit unfair.

    • Don’t hate me for who I am

      You’re a F***in arse but hey, that’s to be expected from a bitter old woman. Skeletons please since when is size zero skeletal. Somebody got ISSUES and when I say somebody, I mean YOU!!!

    • stop the skinny hate

      If you’re looking for someone to hate, hate the studios who focus on hiring slim actresses. Don’t hate the actresses for being slim.

      You hear it coming from the mouths of studios all the time: “you need to lose 30 pounds for this role” “you need to gain a lot of muscle” “you need to make your body look like xyz.” For those actors and actresses, if they don’t comply, they’re out of a job. Even A-list body peace advocates like jennifer lawrence have had to comply (Hunger Games, X-men)

      On the topic of actresses going from curvy to slim, when you finally shed the pounds you’re trying to lose, will that really make you any more or less beautiful? I think you should focus on promoting that anybody who loves his/her body has a sexy body.

  • lucygoosey74

    Let’s keep in mind that the naturally “skinny” (hate that word) gals ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE INDUSTRY’S STANDARD OF BEAUTY. Some people are thin, some people are curvy, some people are obese. It’s a big world with all kinds of people in it. People that hate someone for their body size are just as ignorant as racists or homophobes.

    • Anonymous

      PREACH IT GIRL!!!!
      The world needs to hear this message. LOUD AND CLEAR.
      There is black and white.
      Skinny and curvy.
      And it’s about time we just ACCEPT IT!!!

  • Eileen

    Also, lest anyone need reminding: The woman on the left is Marilyn Monroe. Famously beautiful Marilyn Monroe, with her well proportioned face, clear skin, and perfect teeth – and her still-slim hourglass figure, with a small waist, nice breasts, nice ass, nice legs. Making her the beauty standard instead of the woman on the right (who does look like Kirsten Dunst, but I’m not sure) isn’t body-positive or accepting of different body types. Trying to have Marilyn Monroe’s figure when you weren’t born with it is as difficult as trying to have Keira Knightley’s figure when you weren’t born with it.

  • Anna

    Yes!!!
    I hate this skinny vs. curvy battle. Where’s the point? I mean men vary in their taste therefore there are guys who love curves and there are guys who prefer their women to be more on a skinny side.

    I have always been thin and for a long time I had to listen to stuff like “Why don’t you eat more?” Well I do, I eat whatever I want and whenever I want. I don’t know why should I justify my body type or my eating habits (as long as they’re healthy) to anyone. I would never dare to tell anybody “You’re fat and you should eat less” because it’s insulting but I don’t know why some women feel the need to offend me just because I am thinner than them.

    Actually I don’t get depressed about it at all since I am very happy with my body and frankly I love it just the way it is – but still those comments are nasty and offensive. Actually I think that weight is more of an issue between women. I rarely hear men judging skinny or curvy girls but a lot of women do that…

  • MeaganR

    Even the “curvy” girls we see in the media are a very specific kind of curvy. I have big hips and thighs and a rounded tummy, and a barely-B chest. It’s just how I am. I’m healthy, I’m happy, but I rarely see people with my body in magazines, and that sucks.

  • Britt

    Thank you! All bodies are “real” bodies and all women are “real” women. Additionally, I wish people would note that Christina Hendricks (while beautiful) does not have a body that everybody can achieve anymore than Gisele or Kate Bosworth do.

  • AshleyMaGash

    yayaya perfect aritcle!!! tripple love

  • aina

    will we be satisfied with what we are blessed with? i’m far from what the media would consider an ideal celebrity figure but i have my issues too. i’m 5’3, 126 lbs and a size 6. My full figured friends claim envy and my slim figured friends claim envy as well. where does that put me then?

    i wish i didnt have broad shoulders. i wish i didnt have a butt that is obvious when i wear shorts.. i have a lot of “i wish”es but when it comes right down to it, it should be a matter of health.

    i’m just curious how media has gotten the impression that THIS, (whatever THIS is) is the IN look… clothing catalogs? advertisements?

  • Tessa

    I completely agree with this entire post.
    I love the Gloss — you guys are awesome and refreshing.

  • Res

    Exactly! Awesome post

  • AE

    I hate those facebook posts too! I have faced my fair share of rude comments about being too skinny. My ex boyfriend’s mom even asked me if I was anerexic. It was so embarrassing and upseting. I’ve always been insecure about my breast size and wished they were bigger. I also have a flat butt and very skinny legs, not in a good way. Often when I talk to my dad on the phone he will ask if I’ve gain any weight yet. I can’t help how I am! At times it has made me overeat, hoping to get some curves. In the past few years I’ve gained like 5 or 10 pounds, but it just went to my stomach instead of the places I want curves. I hate that its ok for people to say things about my weight in public and no one has a problem with it! Even some of my friends who were bigger than me would sometimes make comments! And when I would try and defend myself or would get upset, people would act like since I’m skinny I should have nothing to complain about. I do feel insecure, I feel like not a real woman. I have trouble finding clothes that fit too! Pants are usually loose in the thigh/butt area and some shirts/dresses are made for women with bigger breasts.

    • Trisha

      I go through the very thing myself on a regular basis. To the point where i’ve taken off every photo of myself from my FB profile. And i’m not going to deny that I am anorexic, because that is something that i’ve struggled with for a long long time. But, to people that are trying to go into recovery… facebook posts like that are a major roadblock to us. It’s definitely not fair, because there’s a good number of people out there that have NEVER had issues with an eating disorder before but were driven to it because of pages like those. So sad. Sorry you had to go through what you went through, at least there are people out there that know where ur coming from and understand.

    • Anonymous

      I know what you mean. All my fat goes to my stomach then voila just disappears.
      Like magic, I tell you. Like absolute magic.

  • yon

    It’s an opinion that some guy has. No need to get all offended about it.

    • jazmin

      You kind of can’t help but be offended by an insult like that, at least a little bit anyways.

  • erika

    I just came across this in a google search because everyone keeps saying they are worried about me that I am too skinny. Honestly the only thing that has changed is now I walk to work instead of commuting (we moved) and I try to eat more fruits and veggies. Aside from walking my dog, I don’t get a terrible amount of exercise (I know, bad) but I also eat hamburgers and stews and protein heavy meals. Just because I am trying to take care of myself doesn’t justify an eating disorder–if fact, it’s quite the opposite. I had my bachelorette party recently and wore a strapless bikini to avoid tan lines at my wedding, and some jerk commented “Who let that 12 year old boy wear a bikini?” I have always had a small chest, and very small shoulders– same as my Czech relatives, and it’s the body I was given. People can be so mean.

  • patapongirl

    So freaking true.

    I never understood the sentiment of labeling curvy girls the ones with “real body/real woman”. So skinny girls are made of plastic?

  • K

    Oh this is so true and well written, and it’s great to see curvier girls open their eyes to this! I posted this on http://www.facebook.com/pages/Stop-the-Skinny-Bashing/215507911878959

  • Lainey

    god bless you for posting this, so true and unacceptable to judge each other on our own genetics and uniqueness. Thank you dearly, its just like racism and bullying, not acceptable at all!

  • shelley greenaway

    honestly, people need to grow up! what happened to beauty at every size?!

  • Jennyh

    so true! all i ever hear from other girls is how i need to gain weight, even if i tried, gaining weight is not easy for me. Just let me be thin and happy!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1269265767 Joel Diaz

    Good job with this post Sabrina, I feel the same way :)

  • vballplayer910

    Being a naturally skinny girl myself, I hate going through ifunny, facebook, or twitter and seeing these comments. I have had multiple people tell me to eat, that I am anorexic, when in reality, I eat four meals a day because I am a very active volleyball player. And I also eat desserts; I have the hugest weakness for chocolate. I physically cannot gain weight because I am already eating an amount of calories that my body naturally handles beautifully. When people tell me to go eat a hamburger, do they really think I haven’t? I eat a home cooked meal with my family every night. Last night I had steak and potatoes! Why can’t I celebrate the fact that I have a body that others wish for? Why is it b*tchy for me to be proud of it? I do not participate in personal body bashing ever, but neither do I ever say anything positive about myself. Even those closest to me, even my own mother, give me looks if I try and be happy with my figure openly. Why can’t I be proud if I am a skinny girl and not curvy? Why is it frowned upon for me to love my body even if I am skinny?

  • Cici

    I really appreciate this. I’ve struggled with being underweight all my life and have been feeling especially depressed with how “popular” it is to put down skinny girls. This made me feel alot better and I hope one day I can be happy with my figure….or lack of. Thank you for your respect toward ALL women and the encouragement. I find that the most beautiful thing there is.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pamela.rubel Kim Pam ‘Selenemoon

    THANKS!

    For many years I hated my body, my self-esteem was inexistent, I hated being so skinny and that was what I projected to the world, my insecurities. It took me several years of people bullying me, and therapiesm to get over this, but it was not until I accepted my self as I am, that I started understanding that being beautiful comes from the inside. Once you start feeling beautiful, no one has the right to tell you the opposite. ”

    Im 20 years old, 5’3″, and have been 85 pounds since I was 15. I am very healthy, I eat all I want but never exceed in junk food(but if I want it, I just eat it) I dance every single day of my life, and that is all the exercise I do (apart from walking in campus). I am very confident and happy with my body now, and thats what I project. I still get comments from people all the time, like “wooow you are soooooo skinny” “you should eat more” “you should take vitamins” “are you healthy?” “you shoud go to a doctor” “are you anorexic” “do you even eat?” and so on. I never ask over weight people anything concerning they weight, so I simply dont answer to any of these question, but of course, I think its not nice to ask any of this. We should just accept the diversity in body types and beauty, thats it.

    Im a happy size 0, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of!

  • Ladybuggin66

    My personal feeling is that how a person treats another person is a
    reflection of how she/he feels about herself/himself. I’ve been called a
    skinny ‘itch or skinny Minnie more times in my life than I can count.
    I felt like crap. But looking back, I realize now that it ALWAYS came from a female who
    was dealing with her OWN body issues. It came from a female who was, what, trying to gain weight? Noooo. Trying to lose weight. I
    am naturally of a petite build, never had an eating disorder, and
    probably eat more than most that are bigger in size than me, lol. People
    are shocked when they see how much food I put away. I’ve supported my
    best friend of 20+ years, who has struggled most of her life with her
    weight. Now, both of us in our mid-forties, she’s STILL shocked that I
    eat like a pig, lol. I’ve never made her feel bad about herself, she’s
    such a blessing in my life. I’d take a bullet for that woman. Over the
    years, she occasionally would jokingly throw the skinny ‘itch thing at
    me. I finally had to set her straight on THAT! I have no problem with a
    female lovin’ the skin she’s in. That’s how it should be. But it should
    stop there. Because if in order to make yourself feel better you need to
    tear someone else down, you’ve got some issues that need to be
    addressed. When you truly love yourself some you, comparing yourself to
    someone else doesn’t even come into your consciousness. I leave the
    ‘Thin is in’ and ‘Real women have curves’ bullyit to the unevolved,
    unenlightened and those that just don’t grasp that the female form is
    wonderfully created, in different sizes and shapes.

  • IttyBittyMunchkin

    Omgosh I love you! :’) Please say that to the rest of the world and society because as a naturally twiggy person I get ostracized a TON. Anyways some of my faith in humanity is restored thanks to your lovely article xxx

  • Christine

    Thank you so much for this. I am one of those skinny girls that has been hurt by comments like that. THANK YOU for being so understanding and sharing this. It has not been easy growing up and trying to feel like a woman. People have made so many comments that have honestly broken my heart! This article really helped me feel better,seeing other people notice and not everyone thinks skinny girls are disgusting and ugly. Sounds dramatic but I have been told that. Often “Meat is for men, bone is for the dogs” “No REAL MAN would ever want a skinny girls” etc. I hope things can change, sometimes I really do take those comments to heart…..You’re awesome for this :)

  • Jessica

    Yay for this article. It is not cool to hate on skinny girls especially when they also say that “any shape is beautiful”. That kind of behaviour reveals their true selfish nature. Like the recent “marriage equality” movement which was more about selfishly elevating one group at the expense of others, than altruistic motivation. Ones who say “real women have curves” are more about becoming the new bullies than creating overall acceptance, because it’s a statement that directly attacks and degrades naturally slim women. The word curvy is misused because some girls look more curvy when they lose weight, e.g. they keep their boobs but lose waist fat which accentuates the curves. When they put on a lot of fat then all those natural curves are filled in, softened and smoothed out.

  • BlackWillow48

    First of all, I love that someone would post this. I am 13 and for years, I have been treated like a little girl instead of the young adult I am supposed to be becoming. Boys have shot me down because my breasts “just weren’t big enough”. I will be the first to admit, I do not have the average bra size for a 13-year-old. But to call me out on something i can’t control? Unnacceptable.

    Second of all, I think the overwheight women and the women who actually want to be skinnier (even though their wheight is average) confuse “skinny” with “slender”. Slender is having a trim figure, but with the curves that society wants. Skinny is the small framed, straight waisted figure that all of us have become acustomed to seeing in the mirror.
    I have had really bad self esteem problems for a lot of my life, even frommy relatives, who invent nicknames like “little bit” and “stick” and poke me in the ribs because they can feel them.
    As for the meme, I personally think that Marilyn Monroe wouldn’tlike being used as a social scapegoat. Or being compared to another woman in a negative way.

  • Bobby

    Skinny girls are gross

    • Meg

      What a moron.

  • Inks

    I love you for that intelligent post!

    There’s another thing with being slim (no difference naturally, unnatural): a slim person cannot refuse a meal or a snack without getting all the ****** that comes with it. A polite no will never do. Even best friends (best really?) can be mean about their skinny friend refusing a piece of cake (just not hungry !). And so what I like fresh carrot salad with my food!? I grew up with a fair share of fresh countryside food. Fresh salads were served with each meal at school. Moreover, my mom did not make that many desserts at home. These are my acquired eating habits. However, I do love chocolate and potato chips. I eat them when I feel like eating them. I do not need to gobble them down just to prove a bunch of people that I do not have eating disorder. Sorry for the rant but I am really tired of these issues that are not even real issues. I would just like to eat my carrot salad IN PEACE ;)

  • efjioew

    Exactly. I like skinny women than curvy, basically because I’m skinny myself as a dude! But there is no problem with people saying curvy is good, but saying skinny is bad means they like eating more! :)

    I like skinny, because I’m skinny. But it’s not wrong for others to like curvy, as long as they don’t say something bad to skinny girls.

  • Anonymous

    I am becoming increasingly dismayed as I read more and more on this ‘real woman’ campaign. It is startling how easily and ignorantly judgments are passed in society. To see how ‘curvy’ women have bashed the ‘single digit’ figures is callous in its destruction of female pride and self confidence in being ‘skinny.’ The argument of the ‘real woman’ campaign is in fact ludicrous. If the world were to base women on its standards, then the population of females in the world would decrease. Because even though it bashes the skinny community, there is no voice for those ‘plus sized’ figures who do’n have those Marilyn Monroe or Keisha Pulliam curves, those women I shall refer to as rail thick. The question I ask is “What about them?” Are they real women? Or do they too exist as a third species of man similar in circumspect to ‘real women’.

    To think I have been existing under a false label all my life appalls me and I must ask the ‘real women’ of society to what faction of mankind do I belong or is it that my existence is apparent only to my self and I am in fact a mere sliver of someone else’s wonderland. The children I may bear in adult life I must ask, “Will they exist or will there existence be determined by their fat distribution?”

    And it is here now that I return to the plus sized non curvy women. In this battle it seems they have been entirely forgotten and I wonder do they feel any less human? They can neither be accepted as skinny or curvy and as such exist in a community known only to themselves.

    To be thin is many a woman’s dream, rail thin only few covet and rail thick have never been appreciated. Many obese people complain about the insensitivity of skinny people. And the bullying stories do truthfully leave one traumatized. The sad thing is that obese people often in their fight to ‘body size acceptance’prey on skinny people to boost their tremulous self esteem. Terms of endearments such as ‘walking stick’, and my personal favourite ‘Anna Rexic’ leave the same painful memories as ‘human cake’, or ‘pig’ and even ‘big girl.’

    I deem it the most shallow move in the wolrd to hate someone bacause they have high metabolism or even worse practice the discipline of healthy living. (Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia measures not considered HEALTHY LIVING!)
    In just the same way, bashing someone because they are big boned or under a lot of stress and as a result gain weight should no be accepted into society either.

    We should instead accept uniqueness and diversity as variety brings spice to life. And instead help each other to accept ourselves for what we are and wish to become.

  • Anonymous

    My earlier post was not directed to the author of this article nor to those curvy women who don’t bash us skinny chicks but to those who claim they are the only real women in the world. To them I say KEEP DREAMING!!!

  • FarmersWife

    Thank GOD you said this.

    I am naturally thin, and always have been. I’ve also always had DDD32 bras. When I became pregnant with DD I walked out of the hospital in my pre-pregnancy jeans.

    I do not have an eating disorder, and I do not go the gym. Yes, I worked DAMN hard. I work hard everyday. When I was pregnant DH and I DIY flipped our home and bought a farm. I have earned my fitness, and I work every day to provide healthful food for my family, MYSELF.

    I have many beautiful, full figured girlfriends whom I adore. Some can’t help it. Some parked their ass on a couch throughout pregnancy eating take out and cake. But at the end of the day, no matter how many compliments I give them or how often I tell them how beautiful they are : They resent me.

    I have been accused of every eating disorder in the book. I’ve been accused of breast implants. I’ve been compared to ethiopian children and stick insects. These aren’t strangers, these are my friends, and my family. People I would never compare to Buddah, or my cows, or any other such derogatory term. It’s judgmental, cruel, wrong and hurtful. I don’t consider anyone else’s body my business. Yet somehow, when you’re thin, everyone’s got a god damn opinion.

  • RGROOT01

    Why can’t you be thin and curvy? Marilyn Monroe was 23-36-38,I believe and was from a size 4-8. It was a myth she was a size 12 and up. Curves AREN’T DEFINED by your weight, but your hip to waist ratio. A thin girl with a 20 inch waist and 32 hip inch is no curvier than a girl with a 28 waist 40 inch hips. The weight is PURE BULL SHIT!!

    • RGROOT01

      I’m sorry 38,23,36 measurements.

  • Just some girl

    Well no offence but girls who arent skinny got it worst and still kind of do, the backlash against skinny girls is nothing compared to what other sized girls got. You didnt have to even be fat and gross to be called it you just had to not be below a uk size 10. This is what the media does to women you shouldnt be surprised.
    They change it up soon enough and we will all be fighting to fit in but tbh i dont really feel that bad for skinny girls because even i as a small size 12 got a whole load of hell for not being a size 6-8 and i remember how horrible skinny girls got when the media started to favour their size. Not saying all but a lot of skinny girls became seriously stuck up and rude to everyone when the skinny hype began. This is how it felt for other girls. Like i said no offence or anything.

  • Aquaprincess

    I agree. I’m 5’2″ and 92 pounds and am naturally skinny. I hate when people say “eat a cheeseburger” I do. I eat Big Macs, whoppers, occasionally and eat a good amount of food and i don’t gain weight. But obviously that is not the correct way to gain weight since it is unhealthy. Also not all skinny girls are anorexic, most aren’t. And curvy is bone structure. Skinny girls can be curvy, wide hips big boobs. Not common but it’s possible. No need to bash skinny girls to make other girls with different body shapes feel better about themselves. All body types are beautiful.

  • Miss Understood

    I’m going to address the big vs. skinny issue, but I’m excluding “average” for the most part.

    I’ve thought over this topic as I am a natural pant size 00. I do suffer bowel problems and have thyroid problems. I do feel very insecure by this movement, but I always have felt insecure about being skinny because it is poor health. When your BMI falls below 18, it is almost always a health problem, unless you are young. It’s more likely for younger women to be skinny naturally. I know many healthy people who were 0′s up until 25, and then jumped to say a healthy and average size 6-8. It’s still not fair to make the assumption that women have problems like starving themselves or drugs- I’m sure you would feel horrible heckling someone for being thin and finding out they actually have bowel cancer, or another serious disease. I’ve had multiple doctors misdiagnose me with anorexia, needless to say I was livid that they weren’t listening when I said I’ve been eating 2500 calories and day and sitting on my butt. “There is just no way to do that be skinny!” But they understand when a big girl walks in and says, “I have barely been eating and I’ve been dieting and I can’t lose any weight!”. Why? MORE really big people than really skinny people. Anorexia and drug problems are more common than thyroid and bowel diseases.

    I figure that people still get made fun of for having Autism, too (and that’s WELL known and talked about)- So just like them I have to suck it up and deal with it. It’s more about being made fun of for being the odd one out.

    Call this my conspiracy theory… but I think as far as the beauty industry, it’s because it is super easy and really cheap to make clothing for young women and really thin women. It has nothing to do with it looking better, although that is what they play it off as. It’s about capitalism if you ask me. What is cheaper to make, something that takes 5 yards of fabric or something that takes 10 yards? What is easier, sewing curves and patterns, or sewing a straight line? If you’re sewing a shirt for a curvy or big girl, straight lines are going to look bad.. It’s going to require more skill in pattern making and in being a seamstress. In case you haven’t noticed most women of any size don’t like feeling like a sausage casing ready to burst or they want a shirt that tugs just in the right places. (Which because of human nature, is the boobies. Men like boobs because they are a sign of good fertility, the same with big hips…there is a reason they call them “child bearing hips”! I still have back problems after giving birth, you skinny mom’s probably have had the same problems with breastfeeding and your back!) Companies want you to be super skinny so they can profit off you. Average girls are coming onto the scene and getting more love recently, because there just isn’t much of a market for super skinny despite their attempts to make it so. Big girls are getting some lovin’ too, because the market is growing. (No pun intended) Blame those “evil corporations” masquerading super skinny as “healthy” and “in”. Redirect your anger from skinny girls, to corporations. They are scapegoating women for their own profit.

  • Megan

    i don’t hate skinny girls. i envy them because i wish i had that sexy slim look. im curvy.

  • La vaca que ri

    I wish everybody though like this… As a slender person, I’m constatly being target of comments about my body, such as “Have you eaten?” “Oh, your waist is so small” and even “You’re so flat”, even if I eat ALOT and wear a 34C bra… When I go out to dinner, people see how much I eat and even so, try to stuff me with more food! But the worst of all, is all the crap going on about praising “real women” and how skinny girls are so not atractive! So that means I’m an alien? Should I just buy 7 cats and live alone all my life? My intellect and personality don’t matter at all? I’m suposed to gain weigth because it would make others happier? I think not, and refuse to listen to this, and will surely figth every body hating post disguised as “women celebration” I see!

  • InSpiteoFinsult

    I’ve never been one to judge a person on their body type. I’ve always been friendly and accepting of others and always thought that I could get along with anyone. I went through a very tough period where I was caring for my sick mother, a child who was labeled autistic and a severely alcoholic and abusive husband. I wrapped myself up in serious depression and gained quite a bit of weight. Now, my mother has passed and is no longer suffering. I left my husband. My daughter is catching up wonderfully and is turning out to be a very intelligent and fun kid. Now, I’m finally taking the time to care for myself and try to nurture myself back to health and wholeness. I started living again and am going out with my kid to the park and other places. I joined a gym again because I truly do like going and working out. But, every time I put myself out there I get these glares and hateful stares from thin women. The guys could care less. They look right past me but, the girls are downright rude and hateful. It’s like, I’m trying to redeem my life and making a sincere effort but, these girls are quick to cut me down and make me feel worthless. I keep getting the looks and snickers and stares that communicate the fact that these girls are disgusted by me and don’t even think that I deserve to be alive. As, though my heart was not shattered enough already. I can understand where the ”skinny bitch” sentiment comes from. I don’t think that all thin women are mean. I know thin people who are very kind and friendly. But, there are many, MANY, who make an effort to cut you to the quick. I cry every day that I go to workout because I get the evil look or the hand-over-mouth laughter. It’s not gonna make me quit. I am committed to living my life to the fullest and loving my body back to where it should be. One day, I will be small enough to avoid the comments and the fear of someone shouting ”F U Fatty” (it’s happened more than once). Until then, I’ll keep on going through the tears and heart break.

  • VM

    why? Well look at weheartit, there’s ONLY pictures of the thinest girls you can find. Now I have never ever said anything bad to either curvy girls or skinny, but saying that suddenly all the thin girls has it “Oh so bad” when most of us are used to the thin girls being the “it” girl. This is what overweight girls have been going through in SO many years, just as the thin girls are now.

  • VM

    not that it makes it any better. Everyone’s different. It just that now things are starting to turn around.. Yet where I live, the pressure to be thin is huge. We have to remember, everyones different.

  • krissy

    Honestly I am very happy that someone has finally realize that skinny girls have feelings also. I am naturally very thin and have been this way since I was born. I eat as much as possible but still don’t gain much weight. Did I mention how hard it is to find clothes, Because of my natural weight sometimes I hate shopping because from store to store I’m let down because I’m too thin and need to gain weight and when i do get clothes it needs to be send to a tailor. Since I was small I’ve always been bullied because of my weight which I can’t do anything about. It hurts a lot when people make of us feel like were not beautiful where humans too whether curvy or not I believe we’re all beautiful.I feel that sometimes people are leaving out skinny people and just saying that we need to eat more. we’re nasty and that we make thicker people feel bad about them selves and I really find that’s not nice.

  • rgreerre

    So true. And to those idiots that discriminate skinny girls…………………………reeeeeaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyy………….

    Don’t get me wrong I’m a skinny guy myself and I favor skinny girls. It’s human nature, curvy guys for the curvy girls. Skinny guys for the skinny girls. )

    And I’m proud that as a human being you accept everyone no matter their size. But in my honest opinion I really like skinny girls, because myself I’m skinny.

  • Emory

    You’re bomb. Thank you.

  • Clara

    I’m naturally really skinny, and through several years, I have been strugeling to gain weight. One thing that people dont understand, is that being called skinny, can be just as hurtful as being called fat. Some people even asume that I have an eating disorder because of my skinny figure, and I think we should all just drop the prejudices, and accept that a woman isn’t necessarily curvey (or skinny) being a woman has nothing to do with that. So pleeease, think about how the things you say to a skinny girl like: omg, your legs are so skinny, can actually be really hurtful, even though it might have been meant as a compliment.

  • Lindsey

    so true like it’s so annoying because people think skinny girls starve theirselves when i reality some of us are naturally like this… and automatically if you’re skinny your fake ugh

  • Jen

    Thank you for the write-up! As a “skinny girl”, I often times don’t even feel that I’m worthy to be called a woman. I have small boobs (34b) and my WHR is .8. It’s really depressing and OMG! How I crave some curves! Even all my male friends say that shapely is better… and I have no shape. Thank you for the reminder that all women are beautiful!

  • Ashley

    Marilyn Monroe is not curvy curvy but feh had curves real curves r like buffythebody on utube . Also curvy is liked jeniferlopez curvy is big butt, big hips, big thighs and a nice waist

  • Skinnyassgurl

    Yayayay, i have friends who tell me to “go eat some maccas” usually i would say i know.. But now imma say shutup!! Tehe but thanks so much! Xx

  • skinnygirl

    Now im happy that im not alone :D thanks!

  • Sez

    Great article!! I wish more people could think like this … real body diversity acceptance means accepting more than one body type… if you need to insult someone else to make yourself feel better, that’s not real confidence at all… all body types can be great and sexy… no one, even unhealthy people who hardly eat or eat too much- no one deserves insults on their body… this is all such basic common sense kinda stuff…

    As a small, skinny girl who’s been forever trying to gain, I’ve dealt with heaps of insults regularly- from randoms, past bfs, even from my own friends and I just try to be the bigger person (lol) and not pit myself against people that look different, but just try to call people out on it in a friendly sort of way…

    Really, insulting another girl isn’t gonna make you prettier or skinnier or feel better for real about yourself or anything good … people need to grasp the idea that they can have confidence and love themselves without having to step on anyone different … more than 1 type can be great and we should all be criticising the media’s fake BS ads and any judging, prick type guys- not each other’s bodies!

  • linda

    I have the hardest time gaining weight. Believe me, it’s so hard to increase your weight. I don’t have a disease, an eating disorder (some of my friends say I eat more than they do) or abusing myself in any way. It really is genetics because my father is very thin and small-framed too. Some of the people I meet are worried at first, but once they know me a long time, they realize I am just the way I am. Sometimes I can get very self-conscious and I don’t like sharing my weight and just let people guess, but if I had the time and money I would get myself a nutritionist to help me tackle this but right now I’ll just live with it lol. Life is hard and it’s even harder to get what you want and look the way you want. I think everyone has an idea of the perfect healthy body in their minds, but it’s really unfair to judge yourself much less somebody else for not reaching it.