• Tue, Apr 24 2012

13 Scary New Dating Red Flags

 These days, nearly everyone knows to watch out for a man with a cheating past, or to run for the hills when he tells you he has a fear of commitment. Alarm bells should ring if your man won’t stay away from his ex-girlfriend — or his mother. 

These classic warning signs have been drilled into our heads through experience, advice, rom-coms, and awful relationship self-help books. But each year, a new army of red flags crop up across the dating scene. Are the single guys out there getting worse, or are we just growing picky?

Check out the slideshow to see the newest scary red flags to look out for. 

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  • kjon

    That Thought Catalog Guy creeped my out the most. What the fuck.

    More importantly: I love your name, Brandy Alexander, as you share it with a character from my favorite book.

    *Thumbs up* girl (?)

  • Lauren

    WOW. What a stupid list…

  • Susan

    I agree, this is stupid list. I can’t believe someone got paid to write this article.

    • Jennifer Wright

      Buckets and buckets of money.

    • carly

      maybe they’re just trying be funny? or sound witty and stuff. this article was not helpful at all. really a waste of time and bytes :/

    • woo

      They are probably writing more list on yacht bought with proceeds from list!

      List good. You like shirt?

  • Megan

    “The odds will forever fuck over your favor.”

    This.

  • Nicki

    Stay strong spreadsheet guy

  • David

    this is sexist, boo.

  • Ryan

    I have so much to say about this article that I don’t know where to start. Like: Really, (#3) “He keeps talking about grad school.” is a red flag? or (#1) “He bought you a used copy of Fifty Shades of Grey” – only a legitimate gripe if you have never handed another human being a Twilight or Sookie Stackhouse book; or how about #2 “He’s addicted to the green juice cleanse”, how fucking specific is that? Who has that problem, three people? And one of them is writing the article? Do we need to talk about diarrhea in #2? How about just “He has a diarrhea problem”, then you’re covered if he’s addicted to green juice OR heroin. Most of them boil down to “He doesn’t enjoy the TV show we both watch the exact same way that I do, or he doesn’t use this social media program the way I use it – AMIRIGHTLADIES!?!”

    It would make the piece less disjointed and actually interesting if it was called “13 Highly Personal Reasons I Stopped Dating Gary”. But I think Gary got off easy, let’s take a look at what she’s saying just here in #11:

    “…you have to explain the significance of watching that sweaty hand in the car” – What did you have to explain? Does Gary not appreciate the significance of how wonderful it is for Rose to be able to cheat on her fiance by slumming-it with Jack, thereby objectifying him and debasing herself at the same time? Or did Gary not know about sex altogether, remarking “How clever, the cabin of that motor-coach WOULD make an excellent greenhouse, oh no, she fell over! I hope the plants are alright…”

    “[...you have to explain the significance of] that king of the world scene” – Shut up. There is no significance.

    “[...you have to explain the significance of] that boat go [sic] 90 degrees into that cold, Atlantic night sky in 3D” – See above.

    “God, look at that asshole! He would have gone straight to the bottom.” – Now I may be misremembering the end of the movie, but isn’t that exactly what the HERO does? I mean sure, Jack hung around to listen to Rose’s self-pitying fawning as he died slowly from hypothermia, but if he had climbed onto the ample room the raft afforded he might have survived, forcing Rose to confront the occasionally irritating minor compromises one makes in a real relationship, like, say, giving up your extra legroom so that the other person doesn’t die.

    Maybe like Jack, Gary took a look at his own litany of red flags decided it was better to let go and embrace the crushing deep of the north Atlantic than to spend one more minute listening to her sociopathic nit-picking, assuming that this was still just the tip of the iceberg.

  • shjanet

    these things have nothing to do with dating flags and everything to do with a someone being upset with another someone (and found a way to get her stab out in print = pretty much useless to anyone).

  • ROBERT

    THIS IS VERY SEXIST & STUPID….OH WAIT IT GETS BETTER!
    THIS IS TYPED BY A WOMAN!

    WITH WOMEN LIKE THESE OUT THERE TYPING SPEW LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS A HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGE!
    THESE “WOMEN” LISTS CRANK OUT NEW LEZZIES EVERY DAY!
    OK OK OK I FINALLY GET IT THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT!!!!
    CLEVER SHREWS!
    GREEN JUICE BAAAHH, BRANDY YOUR NOT TO GOOD @ THIS ARE YOU!