• Thu, Apr 26 2012

Illustrated Guide: How To Marry A Wealthy Man

Last week, we brought you an Illustrated Guide explaining how to seduce a wealthy man. Here’s what we said:

We’ve devoted a couple Illustrated Guides to the overwhelmingly stupid idea of spending $2000+ on a handbag just for the logo. But don’t worry, ladies, we just haven’t gotten to the convenient loophole: if you can convince someone else to spend $2000 on a handbag and give it to you, you are actually a genius. The only trick is you have to fuck ‘em first.

Wealthy dudes are everywhere right now: doing BDSM stuff and making spreadsheets. The field is wide open. This week’s Guide explains how to land one.

Now, we’re going to teach you how to seal the deal and “marry his credulous ass.” Let’s go!

From Our Partners

Share This Post:
  • Jennifer Wright

    The House of Mirth.

    JESUS CHRIST YOU ARE A GENIUS.

  • bean

    GORDON GEKKO PHONES!

  • porkchop

    I love your elephant polo drawing!

    • Katie

      Agreed! It is wonderful.

  • Lyle

    Love these forever.

  • Jordan

    Brilliant!

  • Meghan Keane

    Wait. Stop. Arrête! Am I supposed to be well rounded, or the elephant? I am unclear. Please advise.

  • kit

    SELL THESE, DAMN YOU. SELL THE ORIGINALS.

  • MR

    A shallow man always attracts a shallow woman.

  • MR

    Yeah, I forgot to comment on your drawings. They’re very good. PS. You can rag on me anytime you want, cause I deserve it. But next time I come down to the City alone, I’m going to take the train to 9th St – 4th Ave station and buy a pack of Marlboro Red, and light up and stare up at Park Slope. There was a time when it didn’t begin until you crossed over 7th Ave.