Let’s Talk About Kissing Dogs On The Mouth

So Jezebel put up this video because apparently it demonstrates a “hate kiss” in which an adorable little dog gives kisses through gritted needle teeth. Fine. Whatever. Dogs are cute, we all love a good cute dog video.

But! As I watched and my stomach started to turn a little, I wondered, “Am I the last person in America completely grossed out by kissing dogs on the mouth?” Sometimes it seems that way!

Moreover, I’m a dog person. I love dogs. Dogs: possibly the greatest animal. What’s not to love?

But when it comes to touching mouths and tongues with them… I am at a loss.

I’m not judging, either. I, too, have unsavory habits! Like all humans. But I am genuinely confused how one gets past the everything in order to kiss a dog on the mouth. The breath alone!

Can we please have an open thread? A discussion? Who kisses dogs? Who doesn’t? Who doesn’t and has dated someone that does?

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    • kit

      OH MY GOD FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE IS GROSSED OUT BY MOUTHKISSING DOGS. I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE.

      Seriously. Every time I see it, it makes me cringe.

      • Lemona

        I know. This discussion is therapeutic. If you aren’t receptive to all manner of dog affection, you become a pariah!

        I like dogs, but every time I don’t want someone’s dog to jump on me with muddy paws or lick my face, the general reaction is that I must be pure evil.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Lemona!

        If someone’s dog jumps up on you, the response should be an immediate leash jerk and an apology. Especially with big dogs!

    • Sarah!

      Nope, totally gross. I love dogs too but I push them away when they lick my face and when they put their noses in my crotch. Neither of those things mean the same things to dogs as they do to humans.

    • Bryanne

      I’m more grossed out by parents kissing their kidz on the mouth. My dog or cat? Not so much.

    • Mars

      Absolutely not. Sooo gross. And this first comment from the Jezebel post made me nauseous:
      “A friend of mine always let her dog kiss her on (and sometimes in) the mouth, and then ended up with a HUGE tapeworm. Can’t help thinking of that every time I see a dog kiss.”

      • Sarah!

        AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

      • Ashley Cardiff

        OH MY GOD. Was the dog eating rotten meat before? Can this just happen?

      • Sam

        @ Ashley: I saw this on a show once. This is absolutely disgusting, but she probably either some how swallowed an infected flea, or the dog had feces in its mouth and it got in hers. Yeah. Gross.

    • Alle C

      I love my dog. My dog is amazing and clever and adorable and etc etc etc. He also licks his own butt for what seems like HOURS at a time and tries to eat everything on the ground, including goose shit. So yeah, given what goes into dogs mouths, letting them lick yours is vile.

      Also, am I the only person who got stressed out while watching that video? I was reasonably sure it was going to turn into “When animals attack” halfway through. I wouldn’t want a dog, no matter how little, with bared teeth and mega-pissed body language anywhere near my face.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Right? It’s really menacing! Even for a little teacup thing.

    • endn

      Hahahah, listen, I totally understand that people think it is gross, because it is gross, my fiance and I even joke about how filthy our three dogs’ mouths are. But ultimately having that many in the house, we just don’t care anymore, and when they want to be all snuggly and cute it is extremely difficult to push them away. I guess it’s like, after cleaning up their poop and dealing with fur and filth and everything, after a while, some people’s boundaries get pushed waaaay back. Though sometimes if their breath is particularly foul I have to shield my face from their kiss attacks.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        “Not giving a shit” is a perfectly valid reason, I feel.

      • endn

        hahaha jesus I almost wrote “we don’t give a shit” but then I thought, will people think I am making a gross pun? but yes we totally understand why people may think we’re nasty. all very valid.

      • http://www.facebook.com/leaft.erixion Leaft Erixion

        I agree it is gross, but gave up trying to stop my girlfriend and her 10 year old daughter from letting Rex a German Shepherd, lay on top of them and lick as far into their mouth as he wanted to for several minutes. Nightly. They have agreed to brush their teeth after, but will always love how dominated it makes them feel 8=

    • Fabel

      I used to kiss my dog on the mouth, but he was really good about not using tongue? (That sounds weird, sorry, but anyway) I would just grab the snout and go “MUAH” to the nose area, basically. There was no french kissing involved. That’s just wrong.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        “he was really good about not using tongue?”

        I lol’ed.

    • Kate Messinger

      If dogs were cognizant enough to understand that the inside of your mouth does not contain neither peanut butter nor another dogs genitals they probably would not be down with mouth kissing. Dogs will lick most mysterious holes if they are close enough, this does not mean we should make it easier for them.

    • Cee

      Ugh no you are not the only one that feels this way. I am somewhat of a germphobe, however some of my habits are just common sense!

      I once dated a girl that had wanted to finger me after petting her dog for like an hour. I was like “WTF, are you kidding me?”

      Animals are cuddly and sweet but as cuddly and loving as we are, we cannot ignore the fact that they lick vomit, poop, toilet water, their privates..and so on.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Wait, Cee. I am so with you on this.

        If there’s a dog in play (petting, scratching, etc) and, later, genitals are being touched… all hands involved need to be touching some soap and water in between.

        Does that make us germaphobes?

      • Cee

        According to people who lack common sense and practical hygiene, we can be!

      • Maggie

        I wouldn’t consider that being a germaphobe, to me that’s just good hygiene! My dog rolls in and eats other animals’ crap whenever she gets the chance, so as adorable as she is and as much as I love her, I do not let her lick anywhere near my mouth, and if I know my BF’s been petting her, his hands have to be washed before he gets to pet me ;)

    • J

      You are definitely not the only one grossed out by this. I love dogs and cats (in fact, I’m a veterinary technician!), but I will NOT let them kiss my face/mouth. People assume that I dislike their dog when it tries to lick my lips and I push it away. I guess they’re forgetting that a dog’s tongue is its toilet paper. I don’t let my own animals do this either. It’s about maintaining hygiene.

      Where did the old myth that dogs’ mouths are cleaner than humans’ come from anyway?

      • Maggie

        When I heard someone say dogs’ mouths are cleaner than humans, I had to look it up, and here’s the gist: Both people and dogs have a certain amount of bacteria in their mouths that works to get rid of germs. Dogs have more of this bacteria than humans, which leads people to think that dog mouths are cleaner. In reality, it’s the opposite: dogs have more of this bacteria because they ingest so much nasty stuff (my dog will eat cat poop straight out of the litter box if she gets the chance) so there’s more germs to get rid of in their mouths. So no, dogs’ mouths are NOT cleaner than humans’!

    • kjon

      Oh dear, shameful confession time. I let my family dog (only my dog!) give me a little kiss sometimes. He’s a sweet little pom who gets treated like a golden prince. He eats home cooked meals and gets his little hiney wiped for him with baby wipes. I absolutely know it’s still gross but what can I say? I only see him when I go home, which is rare, and he’s SO GOOD. Seriously, so well behaved with none of the negatives traits (yapping, attention whores) usually attributed to poms.

      So there’s that. *Shame*

    • ktree

      Yes yes yes! I hate it when people think I’m some kind of animal-hating weirdo because I don’t want their dogs jumping on me or licking me. I DO NOT LIKE having people or animals get their bodily fluids on me, whether it be saliva or mud or snot or whatever. I love animals, I love petting them and snuggling with them, I just want to be goo-free afterwards. I don’t think this is so much to ask.

    • swats

      I would never let my dog even jump one someone else, much less KISS a stranger. That’s insane. BUT! I do poke my nose to my dog and say “Gimme Kiss” and she licks my nose. That, I love. She has gotten me on the teeth a few times, but… whatever. She only does it to me.

    • Cate

      It’s so nice to not only see this article, but to see pretty much everyone agreeing that mouth kissing dogs is absolutely disgusting. I really did think I was the only person who thought this.
      Most of my friends who have dogs allow such behaviour, but good lord, it makes me kind of ill. To make matters worse, my cat was raised with dogs, and so she tries mouth-kissing. It’s horrible.

    • Sam

      The title of this article made me laugh so fucking hard.

      Also: my roommate’s dog sometimes spontaneously will lick me on the mouth when I’m snuggling with him, and it freaks me out. Dogs lick strange things; that is not something I can deal with being on my mouf!

    • D.

      I think it is kind of icky, but sometimes my dogs rush up and give me a lick sneak attack. I like smelling my dog’s face which may look like I’m kissing them, but I avoid their mouths because I’ve seen both chomp down cat turds.

    • T-Lex

      I have an adorable two year old Saint Bernard. He sleeps at the foot of my bed, rests his head on my table when I actually sit and eat at my table, and waits outside the bath as I shower/bathe. Do I kiss my dog? Yes, I kiss him all the time and why not? Kids and gross boyfriends put all sorts of strange things in their mouths so why not kiss my dog. Harold is a gentleman he does not eat poop and his food is either human (I am a terrible dog owner) or his honest kitchen food (which smells like curry ?). To be honest as long as a dog does not eat poop I cannot help but want to give them a smooch.

    • Olivia

      UGH THIS MAKES ME WANNA PUKE. I can’t deal with dog licking in general. For one, I am like disgustingly ticklish. For two, I’ve never been a fan of dog breath.
      I really do love dogs! I just can’t take licking. It freaks me out. and it stinks. and it’s GROSS! Wtf. All these people say OH I KNOW WHAT GOES IN MY DOGS MOUTH– no you don’t. Your eyes are not on your dog 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I’m gagging over this topic. Dogs are animals and do gross things sometimes. Not to mention they lick themselves clean! If I wanted to taste my dogs body dirt, I would lick them myself. But I don’t want that. For real though this made me throw up a little.

      • L

        LOL!!!! i totally agree. i love my little pumpking, but no making out for us…though i will kiss his cheeks occasionally.

    • bevyj

      I’m too lazy to read all the other comments, but just wanted to know why this is posted under careers? Is it because we could catch some nasty tapeworm and be out of work? “How not to fuck up your career: french-kissing doggies”. Sorry if this question was already asked!

      • Ashley Cardiff

        That was an oversight. An hilarious, hilarious oversight.

        I probably should have put it in “culture.”

    • fhr

      Thanks. You just ruined a prefectly good lunch. Seriously. I just threw it up :(

      This has got to be one of the most disgusting things I have ever witnessed or read about. And people think it is perfectly ok because they feed their animals “people food” ? Really ?

      Go to the bathroom, lick your butt clean and then come and talk to me about how clean your mouth is. DISGUSTING. There really are no words for how nasty this is….omg, I need to throw up – again.

      • kjon

        No, not people food. Sorry if it was unclear. We must his food, though. With help from the vet and a couple dog books.

      • kjon

        Whoops. *make his food. Judge away, I said the confession would be shameful.

    • Jordan

      I always kiss my dogs! Yeh they have stinky breath but I still love them. And, only Scarlet ever licks me to kiss me, Ruby just touches her nose on my mouth. They’re animals and they eat food we dont eat and don’t brush their teeth, but they’re more adapted to fight and kill anything that would be bad. They’re no worse than my neice and nephew who go to the toilet and dont wash their hands, walk round covered in chocolate and mushed bits of quavers, getting allsorts stuck to themselves, and constantly have their fingers in their mouths. And I never think twice about kissing them either. :) I havn’t died from kissing anyone yet. :)

    • Sarah!

      I REGRET LETTING A DOG KISS ME ON THE MOUTH.

      Also this clip was on the Today Show this morning.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Was the angle “this is cute,” “hate kissing” or “kissing dogs on the mouth”? I am very curious!

      • kokosalexa

        OMG YOU GOT PREGNANT???? Sure you did,you self-righteous loser.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Kokosalexa, I do not follow!

        Sarah!, I have seen it. It is the hatekiss angle. And then Roker makes a weird joke.

        http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/47261698#47261698

      • Sarah!

        Al Roker is so weird. Every segment ends with him saying something awkward. He is my favorite part of the Today Show.

    • weyna

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    • Dina

      I guess I’m in the minority but I love French Kissing my dog! What can I say…it’s pretty hot the way that big tongue explores my mouth.

    • Jimmy M – AC

      I not only kiss my female bulldog on the mouth, but I wipe her butt with fresh wipes and even massage her lotus flower….she loves it!

    • Dog Mommy

      I love my dog. She’s like my baby! I love giving her kisses and receiving them as well. Now, I don’t let her kiss me right after she’s been licking her unmentionables, but upon a science project I conducted a few years back, I have come to find that there are enzymes in dogs’ mouths that kills most of the gross bacteria and whatnot. So, I’m fine with allowing my little fur-baby to give me kisses most of the time. =)