• Wed, May 2 2012

Here’s The Trailer For A Blair Witch-Style Christian Horror Movie About Porn

Without going too deep into it, I think making jokes about Christians because they’re Christian is pretty lazy and lame. It probably goes without saying I’m not one, but I’m also not going to hold it against anyone. Just like I’d hope they won’t hold it against me.

…That said, Christian movie trailers are a nonstop treasure trove of delight. To clarify, I don’t mean films by secular studios with Christian themes or films by directors who happen to believe in God, I mean Christian films.

For example, I watched Moneyball the other night and was gifted this fantastical preview of a film called Courageous, in which four heroic dads–of various ages and ethnicities–are struggling to be heroic in a world filled with bad guys and issues and tragedy. Crises of faith! Family! Fatherhood! Man, this trailer hits all the right notes. Here’s a line: “As a father, I want the very best for you.” Here’s another line: “Where are you, men of courage? I believe every father… should step up. And answer the call! And to say I will! I WILL!” Also, yes, it has its own ham-fisted Christian rock theme song.

Man, I really buried the lede. Sorry.

Anyway, the always informative Videogum posted this great new entry to our file of perfect Christian movie trailers. The film is called Harmless and it’s about porn. …WHICH ISN’T HARMLESS! Porn, as it’s represented here, is an infection that causes doors to creep open and girls in wedding dresses to hang out in graveyards. Here’s a little taste of the voiceover: ”Our house used to be filled with joy and love. But now there’s just… it’s like there’s something both living and dead.”

Let’s watch!

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  • Jen

    That is … bizarrely hilarious.

    But, I’m trying to see these people’s point of view. I think that, while most of us here at TheGloss are down with (some/most/all) porn, I also think that if you marry someone who you know is totally against porn (and you two discuss the view that, for you as a couple, porn is cheating). then you should stick to your promises, the same way you should stick to any promises you make to a particular person.

    Also, dead brides are a very common theme in porn.

  • Tania

    I don’t have a problem with porn for adults, but I do think it can damage kids who are too young to know how unrealistic it is. Stick with naked ladies and not hardcore sex for kids in the throes of puberty, in my opinion. Let them get a little bit smarter first.

  • Ally

    I love porn and I respect the differing views of others but this movie…why? Is the girl the ghost of porn films past?