• Wed, May 2 2012

Bizarre Alternate Endings To Popular Movies

As TheGloss celebrates regrets week (send your regret filled stories to Jennifer@thegloss.com or Ashley@thegloss.com in 600-800 words) we’re thinking about a few movie endings that we profoundly regret not being made. Like these:

Titanic

Okay, there’s very little love for Titanic at TheGloss, but maybe we would have felt differently if the movie featured characters having a full on mental breakdown. Like the original ending!

Instead of Old Rose having a private moment where she drops the Heart of the Ocean into the sea so it can… be with Jack again… she does this in front of everyone. To be fair, she does it after master treasure diver Brock Lovett has smoked a cigar and decided that he never really “got” Titanic. I guess what he meant is that he never “got” that people actually “died” on it and that was “sad.”

In any event, Old Rose explains that the only important thing is “making each day count” and that is why she is going to toss the jewel everyone was looking for over the railings. And the only sane character in this scene replies “that really sucks, Lady!” And that is now how the movie ends in my head.

In reality, Lovett has a complete mental break and begins laughing like a supervillain. Fair. Watch him go!

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  • Ewa

    Oh Jesus, the original version of PW sounds great. Like an “American Psycho” version of the movie. ThankyouThankyouThankyou!

    • Jennifer Wright

      I think I might be attracted to the original Edward, but it’s only the absolutely worst part of myself.

  • Ashley Cardiff

    Wait. Bill Paxton’s character’s name is Brock Lovett.

    HAVE YOU SAID THAT OUT LOUD?

  • Ella Jane

    am I crazy or isn’t that the wide release ending to I Am Legend?

    No. I’m not crazy. That totally is. There’s no zombie tenderness, just grenades.

    • Jennifer Wright

      Oh, Christ, I copied the wrong one. Love is not grenades! Updated.

  • MR

    Okay that’s not a good ending, but I will finally make a concession on the big diamond. Yes, it look really sexy in Jack’s drawing.

  • parker

    I wonder if Pretty Woman would still be showed all the time on ABC Family if they’d kept the original ending.

    • Jennifer Wright

      I am going to answer your wonder: no.