• Wed, May 2 2012

Bizarre Alternate Endings To Popular Movies

I Am Legend

First of all, weirdly, the book is really good. The vampires talk – they’re quite verbose, actually (if this isn’t true, you can blame Ashley, because she told me all of this). Second of all they are are terrified. The “I am Legend” title has to do with the fact that the Will Smith character is a legend, known for killing all the vampires.

Right. The vampires are not intended to scare him. They’re scared of him. And there was a point when the moviemakers remembered that vague overarching premise of the book, perhaps because it was the entire point of the book. Accordingly, they made an ending where Will Smith realizes that the vampires are just friendly people who want to rescue a vampire Will Smith was holding hostage. Here:

Viewers hated this ending, perhaps because as one youtube commenter claimed “zombie like creatures having feelings and being loving is fucking cheesy and would have ruined the movie, along with some happy ending bullshit.”

Fucking books with their fucking meanings, man.

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  • Ewa

    Oh Jesus, the original version of PW sounds great. Like an “American Psycho” version of the movie. ThankyouThankyouThankyou!

    • Jennifer Wright

      I think I might be attracted to the original Edward, but it’s only the absolutely worst part of myself.

  • Ashley Cardiff

    Wait. Bill Paxton’s character’s name is Brock Lovett.

    HAVE YOU SAID THAT OUT LOUD?

  • Ella Jane

    am I crazy or isn’t that the wide release ending to I Am Legend?

    No. I’m not crazy. That totally is. There’s no zombie tenderness, just grenades.

    • Jennifer Wright

      Oh, Christ, I copied the wrong one. Love is not grenades! Updated.

  • MR

    Okay that’s not a good ending, but I will finally make a concession on the big diamond. Yes, it look really sexy in Jack’s drawing.

  • parker

    I wonder if Pretty Woman would still be showed all the time on ABC Family if they’d kept the original ending.

    • Jennifer Wright

      I am going to answer your wonder: no.