Bullish Life: How I Met My (Soon-to-Be) Husband On OKCupid

Jennifer Dziura writes life coaching advice weekly here on TheGloss, and career coaching advice Fridays on TheGrindstone.

Free perfect boyfriends and husbands and ice-cream sandwiches for everyone! And also magic pandas!

Okay, this column really cannot accomplish that. But in my last column, Bullish Life: I’m Engaged! What I Learned From Twenty Years of Dating, I did promise to write about how I found my betrothed via online dating.

Don’t get me wrong: At times, it was hell. Sheer hell.

But, if my fiance turned out to be a flesh-eating zombie vampire (hereby, “zompire”) and I escaped and had to start dating again, I would definitely go back to OKCupid. Why? Because OKCupid allowed me to pre-screen my dates in a way that would be completely socially impossible in real life. For instance:

Cute Guy: Hi there. We have something in common! Now I am making a literary joke that I have cleverly intuited will appeal to you. I love a woman who looks good in pinstripe. I am leaning closer so you can smell my pheromones. Inserting unnecessary and yet impressive vocabulary word now. Soon you will discover that I do not shave my chest hair.

Me: I am very interested in all of this! You’re an atheist, right? Do you want kids?

So, no. You can’t really do that without seeming crazy, even though it is imminently reasonable to want to only date the kind of people you could ever possibly shack up with. (Note to non-New York readers: For most people in NYC, it is not financially possible to have kids and continue to live in Manhattan. I think most men say they ultimately want kids, but they want them in a very distant and mythical future that does not require them to give up the amenities they currently enjoy.)

Now, don’t get me wrong — I think it’s crazy that women are thought to be crazy for 1) stating their actual goals in a straightforward way, and 2) planning accordingly.

I wrote in Bullish: How to Build a Modern Woman’s Hope Chest Without Looking Like an Insane Harpy that it is bizarre that we reward people for planning ahead for nearly every type of goal — for instance, if you want to go to graduate school in the next few years, it would be great to save up some money and stockpile seasonally-appropriate clothing for wherever you’re going — and yet people will think you are batshit insane if you say something like, “I saw these adorable baby clothes on sale for practically nothing, so I picked them up and am going to stash them in a drawer. No, I’m not dating anyone, but statistically, the majority of women have children, so I took a chance with my $15.”

On OKCupid, you can cut to the chase really fast. Before even responding to someone’s message, in fact. There is a very detailed system of questions that everyone is encouraged to answer. Furthermore, if you don’t answer questions, you can’t see other people’s answers to those questions. (You can also annotate your answers. In response to, “Do you believe in dinosaurs?” I clicked “Yes,” then added, “You can do it, Apatosaurus! I believe in you!”)

Some of the questions are obvious (Do you smoke, do you smoke weed, have you ever been arrested?), silly or trivial (Do you chew gum?), or IQ-type qualifiers (What’s bigger, the Earth or the Sun? What comes next in the pattern 11, 23, 47…?) And some of them look like this:

Well … that just saved me a lot of time! (I Photoshopped Clooney onto some guy’s picture in the graphic above). And my time is worth money. For reals. Importantly: I didn’t even have to speak with this guy — much less suffer through drinks with him — to determine that we want totally different things in life. YAY COMPUTERS.

Similarly, I was all set to go out on a date with a guy I seemed to have a lot in common with, when I saw that (surprisingly, based on his other views) he was opposed to gay marriage. I asked him about it. “Yep,” he said. “Sorry.” And that saved us both a lot of time, although I don’t really care about the time of bigots. On an actual in-person date, when on earth would I have gotten around to asking what my date thought about gay marriage? Probably after finding out what his penis looked like. (If only bigots had some kind of penis-stigmata that allowed you to identify them straightaway!)

In terms of saving time, pain, and forehead-slapping frustration, just think of the hours I could have spent cavorting with some cad before figuring out this:

SERIOUSLY.

I don’t care too much about chivalry — I think we’re at the point where we can do a little role-playing for prom and weddings if we want but otherwise base our systems of niceness on “being nice to everyone” and “helping people when they’re down and out” and “taller people reaching for stuff” — but, if anyone still wants to practice chivalry as traditionally conceived, can we please eliminate the part where some dude pulls out my chair (unlike opening a door, which saves labor for the recipient, pulling out a chair just makes it really, really awkward to sit down and usually necessitates this weird half-second of squatting over thin air) and trade it for not asking a woman out on a date when you have the attention span of a priapic fruit fly?

Or, at least have the reading comprehension skills to check out the woman’s answers to these same questions, which will indicate whether you are in very different places in life. Obviously, some women also want someone to go out with for just a few months; databases can help these people find each other!

So, while OKCupid has a reputation as being a bit of a hookup spot, good software engineering means that users looking for very different things can still control their experiences accordingly. After my fiancé and I went on our third date, I tentatively logged into OKCupid, wanting to see when he had last logged into OKCupid, but knowing that doing so would reveal that I had logged in to OKCupid (why yes, I do think about these things).

I discovered that he had taken his profile down. Happily, I had already saved all his pictures to my hard drive. I went to take down my profile as well, and OKCupid asked why I was leaving the site: I didn’t meet anyone? I met someone on OKCupid? I met someone offline? I clicked “met someone on OKCupid” and the site wanted to know who, which seemed a little invasive. I demurred.

When I told my fiancé that I, too, had taken down my profile, he said that he had, of course, gotten the same “Why are you leaving?” questions, had selected “met someone on OKCupid,” and had entered my username. He said he wanted OKCupid to have the data so they could improve their algorithm and help other people find each other.

That’s good citizenship!

Here are a few more thoughts that might help. (Note: OKCupid is not endorsing this post in any way, and I do not mean to make light of all the dickish messages and disappointment that will almost certainly be the price you pay for any success you have there.)

Assume Your Friends, Co-Workers, and Family Will Find Your Profile

At one point, I was texting with my brother, and it came up that we were both on OKCupid at the same time. I realized that — OMG — if we were in the same city, we almost certainly would have found each other:

Horrors!

But seriously: virtually everyone wants sex, companionship, or both. Everyone does this online now.

When I put up my profile, I kind of thought, “I am slightly famous. Someone will know it’s me!” and also, “I have taught THOUSANDS of adult students!” So, I just kind of accepted that someone I knew would see my profile. It’s cool. My main picture didn’t show anything body-wise, but was “sexy” in the “I live in a house that gets dark at night!” kind of way.

The profile contained one brief innuendo to show I am not a nun: “People always think I want to play Scrabble, but I don’t. I’m moderately good, but our time on Earth is short and that game is 300% too long. If I’m in a position to play Scrabble with someone, well, I could think of better positions to be in.”

And then I just kind of accepted that the thing was public. And honestly, the read of my profile kind of read like a Bullish column. If you’ve read some Bullish columns, does this excerpt surprise you in any way? (Note that I was mostly giggling while linking phrases from my online dating ad to various Bullish columns on TheGloss and The Grindstone.)

I like to pick random foreign countries on Expedia and fly to them and drink their beer and examine their most venerable buildings. I love zoos outside of the U.S., where liability concerns do not prevent you from touching awesome animals at your very own risk. I am completely comfortable thinking about being sixty in 28 years. I collect gorgeous work-appropriate dresses. I dislike people who believe that money is inherently evil; I think that making money is a skill and using it for good is an art. I like men in soft, cuddly t-shirts as well as in crisp suits (I think men should perhaps be Constitutionally forbidden from wearing latex, spandex, or any other fabric ending in -ex). I am a serious introvert.

I was the first person in my family to go to college; I think a lot about class in America. Luxurious things all seem hilariously new to me.

I am in a “Get those kids off my lawn!” phase of life. I am not amused by Burning Man, live-streaming things that don’t matter anyway, or any activity that involves wearing a costume in Brooklyn.

I deeply love adulthood and all its perks, pleasures, and responsibilities that can be recast and refigured into a well-crafted life. So, if you have crow’s feet (totally sexy on guys), please act as though you are content with the fact that your youth is over!

I enjoy enforcing justice on wrongdoers. I would like drunk drivers to be sentenced to being hit by cars (okay, not really, but sort of). I would like loud cell-phone talkers to have their phones confiscated. I regularly tell street harassers that their behavior is “inappropriate,” which usually leaves them without a proper rebuttal.

By the way, no line ever got more response from men than, “I enjoy enforcing justice on wrongdoers.” I was totally sincere about it. A friend predicted that I would get messages from male submissives wanting to be dominated, but I did not. Rather, it got me messages from bankers and oldest-children. Some of us just have different ideas about “wrongdoers.” (I have previously expressed that I would happily stab a gang-raping warlord in the throat with my very own hands and kitchen knife.)

So, whatever. You all can read that. So can my business associates. If you would drink with your clients in a bar, it’s really not a big deal if they see that you like chest hair or whatnot.

Oh, and I was recently hiring someone on TaskRabbit to run my errands, and saw that someone advertising himself as an errand-runner had posted his OKCupid pictures to his profile. Oh, so the guy who will be assembling my new coffee table also goes on dates? SHOCKING. Not really. Let’s collectively shrug and get over ourselves.

Ignore Hate Mail. If Possible, Outsource the Hatemail to a Personal Assistant or Large, Belligerent Friend

Somehow, my profile generated less hate mail (and fewer truly objectionable come-ons) than those of many of my friends. (I did get plenty of “U R SEXY” and one “You sound like a total pain in the ass.”)

One friend says she gets near-constant hatemail for her list of reasons why men should not contact her. She gave me her profile name, and I checked her out (haha, *leering*), expecting a litany of off-putting complaints.

What I actually found was a charming, verbose profile that began, “ i craft ridiculous headpieces and put together outrageous costumes, both often involving volumes of plumage. i’m a super-fast reader. i may lose at scrabble occasionally, but that’s because i chase good words over points” and continued for about twenty paragraphs before specifying:

You should NOT message me if:
- you have no photo/fake photo/unrevealing close-up, or a half-assed profile (i’m NOT a fan of spy-worthy terseness and “if you want to know something, ask me”)
- your writing is a forest of run-ons and misspellings (and you don’t think it matters)
- your message is going to be along the lines of, “hi your cute! whats up? LOL” — substance required if you want a response, as are correct grammar & full sentences. capitalization clearly optional.
- you can frequently be seen in public in a baseball cap/trucker hat/white sneakers/ill-fitting baggy jeans
- you think i’ll jump in bed with you just because i seem to like sex so much
- you don’t live anywhere close to NYC

May I say… THIS IS SO REASONABLE.

Why the hate?! One stab at an answer: Her profile is rather sexually forward. Maybe the men sending hate mail are of one of my favorite varieties of men: those whose general manner of dealing with women says, “Why is the talking head part of the woman always cockblocking me away from the vagina part?!”

You really can’t let those people ruin your fun.

As I mentioned, online dating was, at times, hell. And yet, it was worthwhile. Also, the writer of the above profile is also actually very happy with someone she met on OKCupid.

You have to suffer some fools to find what you want. Fortunately, in the world of online dating, it is easier to screen those fools before ever encountering them in real life or even giving them your contact information.

In Closing…

That said, OKCupid has many soul-destroying features. For instance, you can submit your photos to be “rated” by other people, thus increasing your exposure at the expense of your gravitas. If you answer a question like, “How many dates do you usually have with someone before you have sex?”, your picture and answer will be displayed to others, out of context, in a Facebook-like timeline.

By using online dating to find an adult male life partner, I did feel like I was hacking the system a bit.

And my fiancé was on online dating, on and off, for eleven years! Looking for me! When we chatted online, before our first date, our conversation went in an odd direction that resulted in his writing me a charming short story about needing to get to the Chilean embassy, post-haste, with a chimpanzee in tow. Other women, I’ve been told, have responded to similar displays of verbal peacocking with a grim, “You don’t have to try so hard.” (I think willingness to try hard is the best possible quality in a man!)

And yet, of course it was worthwhile. As I wrote in Bullish Life: 3 Romantic Mistakes That Young Women Make That Cause Weeping Among The Angels And Kittens, please remember that the universe is indifferent to your well-being.

No one has a master plan for you. There is no story arc, no poetic justice. You’re driving.

Be clear about what you want. If what you want is just one guy (or the still rather small number of partners most polyamorous people can fit on their dance card) it’s to your benefit to scare off those who are not worthwhile or just not right for you. What are you going to do with all that time you could’ve been spending on dates that go nowhere? Oh, I don’t know — accomplish amazing things?

Send in your questions to bullish@thegloss.com or follow on Twitter @jendziura. See a Bullish archive here.

Share This Post:
    • mellow_yellow

      I have not read the article yet, I had to scroll down here and yell THANK YOU first.

      • Jennifer Dziura

        You’re welcome!

        :)
        Jen

    • Ashley Cardiff

      Jen, you are always amazing.

    • Kj

      My best friend also “hacked the system” in this way when she was ready for commitment – she sought out men according to a very specific set of criteria, which included no musicians (“they are flaky”), must be at least 30, and must be well established in some sort of professional career. And now she has a delightful fiancee who brought her cookies on her first date. She really likes cookies.

      I met my fiancee the good old fashioned way – drunk at a club, but I have been involved in many online dating hijinks since the dawn of free online dating. My first POF profile was basically a joke profile that was all about how I was looking for a man to boss around and generally dominate – and it actually generated quite a bit of interest. I also got a lot of proposals for threesomes. Fun times.

      My most awkward moment, though, was when there was a rather awkward gentleman on OCK who messaged me multiple times (apparently having forgotten that he had previously messaged me?!) about how we would get along really well… and said messages were always accompanied by crass, unfunny jokes. And I was like, if you can’t tell the difference between your humour and my humour, you are too dumb to date me.

      …At any rate, didn’t I run into said gentlemen while giving a storytelling tour of the city we live in. I had to entertain him and his friends for 90 minutes of historical fun.

    • Jamie Peck

      I’m happy it worked out for you! I gave up on OkCupid after a few years because my pre-screening tactics never resulted in a single person I wanted to go on a date with. (I went on a few dates anyway, and none of them were good.) Full disclosure, I’m physically attracted to boyish, skinny, somewhat hipsterish guys who are my age or maybe a bit older but still young-looking. I sincerely hate this about myself, because of those guys, about .01% are smart, educated, driven, kind, and relationship minded. OkCupid sent me into fits of madness about how maybe I was just being too picky, so I deactivated it and just decided I’d meet someone when I met someone. Then I met the dude I’d been looking for through a mutual friend. I feel like I hacked the system, too.

      I will say I deviated from some of my criteria, mainly the dumb ones. Like, I used to like anti-social weirdos and he’s about as social as they come.

    • Kj

      This is a separate comment due to it being a completely different subject than the other…

      RE: Enjoying the punishment of wrongdoers, and negative response to that

      So, I have been contemplating this idea over the past week, since you have mentioned it before and I found myself inexplicably uncomfortable with that statement (and yes, I tend to mull over random things. Boyfriend: “Watcha thinking?” Me: “Oh, just about the essential futility of burning artwork as an act of protest against government austerity measures.” But I digress.)

      I, too, agree with the punishment of wrongdoers. I think that justice is very important and can be gratifying.

      However, I think that when you say that you say that you “enjoy” punishing wrongdoers, that it implies a sort of vicarious participation in the wrongdoing. Ie, if the raping warlord hadn’t raped all those people, then you wouldn’t be justified in stabbing him in the throat with a kitchen knife. It implies a sort of pleasure that would not be possible without all that suffering, whereas I think that the expected feeling is a sort of regret that the punishment is necessary.

      As well, I think that the administration of justice is supposed to be, by its nature, passionless and therefore devoid of “enjoyment.” It’s obviously not really logical, or what you really intend to mean, but I’m just trying to describe my gut reaction to that statement, and suggest that that might be part of why people react negatively when they read that.

      So yeah.

      • Jennifer Dziura

        Hi Kj,

        I don’t know where you got the idea that others’ response to “I enjoy punishing wrongdoers” was NEGATIVE. Actually, the men who responded LOVED it. I got many positive responses, as though I had tapped into something primal and heretofore unspoken. Here’s what I wrote:

        —-
        By the way, no line ever got more response from men than, “I enjoy enforcing justice on wrongdoers.” I was totally sincere about it. A friend predicted that I would get messages from male submissives wanting to be dominated, but I did not. Rather, it got me messages from bankers and oldest-children. Some of us just have different ideas about “wrongdoers.”
        —-

        So, I don’t know how you read into that that people responded negatively.

        In my actual life, “punishing wrongdoers” is pretty much limited to calling out people who cut in line at Starbucks, that sort of thing. But I do hope that the next time someone says something horrifically racist or sexist around me, that person is working at a job where I can report him or her to the company management. I would enjoy that.

        I do not at all think it’s true that the administration of punishment is devoid of feelings of satisfaction for a society; while, in an actual jail, it would be good for the jailers to be dispassionate, much of the reason we administer justice is so society can feel that a wrong has been righted as much as is possible in a world in which we cannot go back in time and stop the crime itself.

        Much of the reason we punish is to stand up for victims who cannot stand up for themselves. And, of course, to prevent similar crimes from happening again.

        There have been studies in which even babies show a sense of justice — see this fascinating article on the topic:
        http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/09/magazine/09babies-t.html?pagewanted=all

        Sincerely,
        Jen

    • sara

      First off–congrats on your engagement!!

      I also met my husband online, through match.com.

      I was so resistant to trying out online dating, but it was the easiest way for me to be logical about finding a good match.

      In a bar (or wherever), it’s easy to overlook giant character flaws if the person is attractive and charming. But, when you are basically looking at a spreadsheet of how you allign with someone, it’s easier to prevent yourself from interacting with futile matches.

    • G

      None of the links worked for me?

    • caroline

      Word.

      Totally going to my profile and putting a nix on “Hi your cute LOL what up.”

      Great post!!

    • Lindsey

      I can say that I prefer strongly the men I had flings with over OKC than the ones I met in real life.

      I’m not the type of person who cares about looks too much. I mean, what’s more boring than whether or not the guy has love handles or weird hair? Also, short people. So in real life I’ll end up going out with a tall guy, or a handsome guy. Then find out he can’t read poetry, likes coldplay, and writes like a five year old. But oops! I’ve already stubborn-ed myself into liking him.

      With internet men you can already tell if they can write like an adult, if their favorite books are things they’ve read SINCE high school (Catcher in the Rye, I’m looking at you.), find out if they’re horrible people etc.

      I mean, I guess I could like, get to know a guy first? Go on dates? Nevermind. Sounds nausiating.

      So happy for you!

    • Avodah

      Good lord I wish I had my life together like the author. My goodness, is she successful, or what?

      • Jennifer Dziura

        Hi Avodah,

        Ha, I don’t know what about this column prompted you to say that! I have written before about declaring bankruptcy after my company failed, as well as some other serious mistakes. I’m sure my risk-taking (and I think the amount of risk-taking I’ve engaged in is considered in our society to be a lot for a woman, while it would be considered pretty ordinary for a man) has led to both the mistakes and the successes. Anyway, I hope something I’ve written has been helpful.

        Sincerely,
        Jen

    • Maggie

      Online dating is hilarious. I met my boyfriend of 2 years on Plenty of Fish, but before I met him there were some serious weirdos. My personal favorite message I received was “Hey, you’re cute. Want to watch Disney movie, eat cookie dough and make out?” I also got one that read only “GIANT TITTIES OHHH YEEEEEAH” even though my profile pictures were only head and shoulders… I tell all my friends to give it a try at least once, ’cause who knows who you’ll meet! Some of us are lucky enough to find our soul mates :) (Or just mates, depending on your view of cosmic love connections)

    • slyppi

      The most soul-crushing aspect of OkCupid for me was the constant awareness that the majority of ‘my right people’ live somewhere I do not. On the other hand, that’s excellent information to have! So now I can plan accordingly.

      Congratulations, again. :)

    • Tania

      I was extremely unsuccessful on OKCupid. Mostly got creeps or weirdos, or people arguing with my requirements.

      And my only requirements were: must be able to type in proper sentences (no use of “u” or whatnot), must write more than just “hey wanna txt?” or “what’s up?” (as in, prove you read my profile! I wrote a lot of stuff), and must not be married and looking for an affair.

      These were requirements that I shouldn’t have expected.

    • Tim W.

      Congrats Jen! I remember when you were scarring freshmen on the debate team.

    • Masha Dowell

      Congrats!!! I am on two sites and I have not been serious about them… BUT I want to be in a committed relationship. Your article has inspired me to get back on and be honest with what I want, and what I will get!

    • JaneDoeDates.com

      You made me smile…there is hope for the rest of us out there!

    • Kelly

      I met the love of my life on OKCupid :) A lot of people make fun of us, but we don’t care cuz we’re happy! We’re in college and have been together for almost a year and a half. I’m so glad to read about a real adult having used OKC so successfully! Also, you’re hilarious and awesome.

    • Megan

      I think I’m late to the party, but my sister just sent me this AWESOME article and I felt like I had to comment.

      I also found my boyfriend of 1.5 years on OKCupid, and I suppose I’m one of the lucky ones – we met rather quickly after I joined the site. I struggled at first with putting photos and personal information up, but I knew I had to if I was serious about meeting anybody.

      But ohhh the creepy/offensive/dumb/JUST PLAIN CRAZY messages I received during my short time on there. I almost created a blog solely for the purpose of posting the amusing messages I received, but I would have had to keep my profile up if I ever wanted new material and, frankly, that just didn’t feel like the morally sound thing to do after I got “serious” with my current BF.

      I have to say though, I thought it was really fun and exciting being on OKC. I enjoyed answering the questions and browsing profiles and I couldn’t wait to come home every day and check my messages. (This was pre-smart phone.)

      Love this part, by the way: “Importantly: I didn’t even have to speak with this guy — much less suffer through drinks with him — to determine that we want totally different things in life. YAY COMPUTERS.”
      So true. So spot-on.

      The ONLY part of the whole experience that made me feel a little icky was when TWO of my ex-boyfriends (both very short-term) were suggested to me as possible matches. This meant two things: 1. OKCupid is really good at finding local people that you would be attracted to enough/have enough in common with to date, so much so that you may have already dated them, thus defeating the point; and 2. I now had to worry about the awkwardness/embarrassment of either of them seeing my profile. Then again, I had seen both of theirs, and it wasn’t that awkward. Just had to remove them from my “suggestions” so they wouldn’t keep popping up, like “Here we are again! How about now?! No?! Okay we’ll be back tomorrow!”

      So yeah, other than the somewhat unsettling discovering-people-you’ve-already-dated thing, OKCupid is the bomb diggity. Yup.

      Oh, and congratulations!

    • Chris

      I enjoyed your article. I haven’t had any luck on OKC whatsoever. I am an attractive, intelligent, and pretty awesome guy, and I am so incredibly frustrated and lonely. I’m 36, but look 24. I have a great job, I’m funny, creative and talented, and I just don’t understand the bad luck I’ve had since I joined the site six years ago.

      I met only a few girls from the site… a majority of them turned out to be crazy, or just not compatible with me.

      I wish life wasn’t this hard. As a guy, I don’t deserve this crap, and I wish I could just meet someone nice, normal, and who loves great music and movies. That’s all I ask.

      Congratulations to all of you who have had success.

      -Chris
      Philadelphia area, PA
      http://www.chriscaulder.net

      • Common_sense

        Wah. I wish life wasn’t this hard. Women don’t want to be with a whiner. Maybe that’s your problem.

    • marie_sf

      I met my serious boyfriend (and likely eventual husband) on OkCupid, after I had been on less than a week — I guess I just got really lucky. Previously, I had tried Match.com on the idea that if I did a paid site I would get more quality results (I didn’t — turns out losers have disposable income too). Anyway, when Boyfriend and I started talking on OkC we clicked right away, but I really liked being able to check out the dealbreaker questions up front, the most telling of which for me was “Would you ever consider acting out a rape fantasy?”

      In addition to the marriage equality and choice questions, I (probably rightly) felt like if a guy was not only willing to do that in the privacy of a bedroom, but to tell the Internet about it as if it’s totally not-creepy, I probably didn’t need to waste my time with that guy.

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    • sammy

      How old is your fiance?

      • http://www.facebook.com/jendziura Jennifer Dziura

        40 when I met him. So, 41.

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      internet so far.

    • buart

      I have been in bondage ever since my ex leaves ME for another man,It was really hell for me and everybody told me to forget about her but i could not because i love her so much. Things get worse until my friend introduced me to this great spell Therapist ONIHA and i contacted him through his email winexbackspell@gmail.com i explain everything to him and he cast a spell for me immediately after four days, everything turn around and my love come to me on her knee begging for forgiveness that i am the one and only man in her life now. I was surprise i have never seen such a miracle in my life. I am so thankful to this man and i will forever publish his name Therapist Oniha of the winexbackspell@gmail.com is the greatest.

    • lys

      Congrats on your engagement and I think your advice is pretty spot on. I personally avoid specifying who I don’t want to write me because it sets a negative tone, the creeps usually don’t bother to fully read your profile anyway, and whiners and flakes are blissfully unaware of what they are.

    • Shanel

      Dearest Dr. Lee of the Ancientfathersandmothers@gmail.com you are a spellcaster heavyweight champion! You have been very helpful during the hard times I went through. Speaking with you gave me hope and I must say that you are more than a spellcaster for me. Can I dare to say that I consider you as a friend now? Thanks for bringing back my man and thanks for listening to me and helping me. You will stay in my memory

    • http://www.facebook.com/rebecca.john.923 Cheney Kelvin

      My name is cheney from uk. I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in February this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR.EGOGO he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is egogotemple@yahoo.com

    • Sandberg Noris

      For a very long time before i became aware of my wife infidelity, i was lost in our relationship.I always felt like there was something missing in our relationship.The love she felt for me was almost never here.We grown further apart from each other or rather she grown apart from me giving excuses with work and all other things but deep down i knew something was wrong only that i thought the problem was from my side. I thought that i was killing our marriage somehow but really i didn’t know what i did or ever did wrong to place our marriage on the edge of a knife.I remember suggesting we book yourself for marriage counselling.It was suppose to let us understand the reason why our marriage was failing and why her love was drowning.She was so good at lying that she made me feel like i wasn’t being a good husband.She made sure all the problem was going from my angle but really she was the cheating one among us.She was so good at covering her tracks that there was little or no room to make me think she was cheating on me.After three years of being a superhuman all her covers were blown an the entire thing was out or would say i was a fool for three years cos from the way it happened i feel she decided to let everything come out that she was cheating on me with an Italian painter .Cos even when i knew and was furious and asked for a divorces she didn’t even care all she said was i should speak to her lawyer about it and that was all i ever heard from and about her it was like she left the country with the guy i really didn’t know anything about this guy i only knew he was a painter that was all she disclosed i didn’t even get a name or any sort of information and when she left our house it was all i saw of her.Even when processing the divorce my heart and soul was craving for the wife i loved with all my heart.Tried all i could to make myself believe it was over on the grounds that she lied cheated and was not even sorry for anything but heaven knew that i wanted her back badly.I believe that was what made me even thing of searching on the internet on how to mend a broken marriage.I was so clear that i needed her back that my miserable life was so incomplete without her .I got lucky my search on the internet on how to mend a broken relationship which ended up helping me.I kinda was referred to a spell caster named MUTTON OSUN as they wrote his is quite good with this work using spell to get back exes and from my experience he is really good at it.Ok may some people may Thing i am just spamming but that is something i can never do cos it will be going against my morals as a human though there are a lot of lying spell caster but MUTTON OSUN isn’t one of them that i know cos he help me get my wife back he restored the love we shared together at the beginning of our marriage.Moreover article about him is all over the internet and they are all positive reviews.I only needed four items for the spell and all other little thing i had to do but trust me all he did worked all those little thing are just the finally process to make the spell effective.Every penny i spent on those item were worth it it was not a waste of cash cos he fufilled his promise to help get my wife back.If you may like to contact him for him use this email address: godsofosunx@rocketmail.com

    • bridget

      We have worked a few times together and all the times i have worked with you i have gotten everything fixed. You take the time and really commit to making sure you get the best possible results for the situation. Anytime that i have needed to talk to you about my situation with the guy you always answered me back until i felt better about it. They really do work you take the time into it for it to really get results.. Thanks a lot ogbefispell@gmail.com Karen Fourways

    • Leo Jennifer

      My name is Jennifer and i want to testify of the good work done by a faithful DR PALOMA, a spell caster. in my life i never thought there is such thing as spiritual intercession. my problem started 5 months back when the father of my kids started putting up some strange behavior, i never knew he was having an affair outside our matrimonial home. it dawn on me on that faithful day 4th of April 21st 4:23pm when he came to the house to pick his things that was when i knew that situation has gotten out of hand and he then told me he was quitting the marriage which i have built for over 6 years, i was confused and dumbfounded i called on family and friends but to no avail. two months after i started having problem with my kids welfare rent-age and all of it, i really went through ***. until a day i was browsing on the internet and i happen to meet DR PALOMA Email palomaspelltemple@yahoo.com i never believed on this but i needed my man back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it but you know a problem shared is half solved after a 2das my husband called me telling me that he his coming back home and that was all. now we are living happily and i still do contact him on this email: palomaspelltemple@yahoo.com

    • Nadezhda Vyacheslav

      I have been reading about spell casting and its powers for a while but i never thought or it never occurred to me or i rather say that it happened that i never got myself in any situation that will make need the help of a spell caster.I read a lot of testimony on the internet on web pages, blog, and some on the Facebook page of some web site i linked with my Facebook with.I was more concerned about a certain spell caster MUTTON OSUN. That his name kept appearing on almost every comment form different individual claiming he has helped them a great deal in spell casting of all kind but mostly relationship problem that is from divorced man and women to lost love and cheating wife and husband was like don’t even know the word to use.All of them had just one thing in common that he help then resolved their problem that even therapist could not solve i guess the problem was passed the place where talking was not doing any good at all.But some how i believed them and their story cos the testimony were just too real and were from different people.I just enjoyed reading how he help those people and asking myself how possible it was that this spell caster could do all this with no effect of what so ever.Year they said his spell had no negative effect on the person who asked the spell to be casted and the person the spell is casted upon.I just wanted to know how it worked so i tried it and now i am among those writing this to tell those like me reading that this MUTTON guy is real.I am a single 32 years old mom of two two girls.I have always had a thing for this guy or i would say i liked this guy but he was kind of a mess cos of the lost of his wife.Like he had nothing to leave for any more.He never came out of this house and even went he did he doesn’t talk to anybody even i tried ti make a conversation he just smile so he doesn’t look cruel and then walk away.At night you can hear him breaking things and sobbing.I wouldn’t say i knew what he was feeling cos really i didn’t know but i knew i could make him happy again but no matter how i tried to get close he shuts me out.I really liked him and hated to see him miserable i mean he still have a chance to be happy with me.Contacting MUTTON OSUN was really easy for me cos all those other article had an email address i could use to contact him.So i send him an email to him but i didn’t get a responses immediately i mean it took three day before i saw his mail in response to my mail where he told me that he could help me make the guy to love.Am sorry i can mention my name or his cos i really don’t know who is writing this thing i am writing.Any way i was not allowed to tell any one till i have seen the result and important he told me i needed some materials for the spell casting.Most people tend to thinking his asking you to pay for the spell but not you have the choice to buy these materials and send them to him or you can ask that he get them for you if you can get the materials or the cost of buy and ship them to him is to much.In my case i gave him money to get the materials cos it was way less expansive.I guess he made some kind of harmless powdery substance with those materials and sent them over to me.He asked that i follow this instructions on how to make the spell active which i did.I must warn you it take at least two day to be effective cos it was after two days the man that never talks to me knocked at my door asking if i would like to watch movies with him at his place form there we kicked off.We have been together for 4 months now and still counting he is a really nice man i can am the luckiest woman in the world.I mean this only means that what MUTTON did is working and it changed both our life for good.I will also leave his mail here you contact purpose >> godsofosunx@rocketmail.com

    • Emma Russell

      I saw a testimony of Nadezhda Vyacheslav on how she got that guy to love her as she did him.Though i don’t know her, i believed her cos she said Mutton Osun a spell caster help her seen it happen.I didn’t believe her cos she used a spell i believed her cos she made mention of a mutual spell caster i know of that is mutton Osun. I have also see a lot of testimony about his work on the the internet on blog pages and so on.I literally took a lip of faith to contact him and it turn out that it paid off.In my own case i didn’t ask that him to make anyone fall in love with me or ask that my cheating wife comes back.This time i was at fault i messed up.Will really like to say it was an honest mistake or a few hours or days of weakness but then i will be insulting my wife and the love i feel for her.I was in full control of what i was doing i had the choice not to cheat but i still did. She didn’t find out by herself i told hoping if i told her how sorry i am and how much i still love and want to be with her despite my betray she will forgive completely.It was the biggest mistake of my life maybe i should not have told her, i guess she would have still found out if she didn’t catch me then i bet the other lady would have told her what was going on to destroy what me and my wife had.It was obvious my betray really hurt her i could she it in her eye and i was really sorry.That is why i wasn’t so surprise when she asked that we go our separate ways.There and then i realized that i was following the part that ruined my life and my family.I literally lead four month of my life in misery.I have never felt like i needed her like i had felt begging was not an option nothing was an option cos she was gone.It was right about that time Mutton Osun came into the picture or when i asked that he help me get my wife to love as she did before.I was able to provide the items he asked that i get for the spell and send then down to him.Like Nadezhda Vyacheslav said “the spell does become effective at once that ” she was right also cos just after i did what Mutton Osun asked me to do with what he sent me, it took 7 days before anything happened i even thought for a minute that i had met a fake spell caster but in the end i am happy with my wife again.We going to be renewing our vows on the 20th of September. I was on the edge of become a walking dead a woman with nothing to live for thank my star Mutton Osun helped.I will also leave his contact for those who thing he can help them { godsofosunx@rocketmail.com }

    • Rusty Kate

      My name is Rusty Kate, from UK I never
      believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once.
      when i went to Africa in July this year on a business summit. i ment a
      man called Dr. OGUDO.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to
      bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love
      you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good
      job.i’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to
      marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos
      our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his
      mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this
      spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of
      things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i
      just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to New York, my
      boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me
      apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and
      he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe
      it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name
      and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are
      expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives
      became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some
      help, email drogudospelltemple@gmail.com you can see what he can do and i
      belive that he can do so four you toooooo.

    • Nate Maclean

      My advice to any one who might be thinking of contacting a spell caster,is to contact Metodo i know he the only real spell caster i think still leaves his methods will speak and make you believe. I am not really that kind of person that disclose much about myself experience especially on the internet but today i am going to make an to exception I really never intended to say to anybody that i used a spell to get what i wanted in life not cos i am ashamed of it but cos some may never believe cos its seem like something that can never happen. All it take is to find the real and right spell caster. Am that kind of person that have always thought that marrying a rich man will set me free in financially as a matter of fact i have been married to to four different men all for money i guess after every divorce with every one of them i didn’t as much as i expected even when there was no prenuptial agreement signed. But When i met my firth to be husband,i never expected i will fall for him so much i mean he was so charming cute and for the first time he made me feel safe like he will always be here for me not matter what happens. For the first time i was in love. Maybe i don’t know what love is cos i never felt it for any one my ex husband the only detail i can give is that my heart literally beats fast when he was around me, anytime he ran his finger through my hair. I always knew my past will come to hurt me no matter what i do but i never gave it to much thought cos i never thought i will meet this kind of man. At the time i meant him ,it was not a while before the relationship became serious cos i bet he loved me also. We moved in together and our relationship just blosoomed. He was gentle with me always i mean my life was a fairy tale for a moment. But then again my past life that was to be left in the closet got out. I was so much in love to not tell him about my pasted life i just wanted to left him know like this was the person i use to be but cos of him i changed .He brought me to the light. I guess that was not the case he grew mad at me and thought i was going to do the same thing to him just like my exes. I don’t know if it was that in the last 4 years i have been married four time to four different men cos of their bank statement that made him mad of was that i didn’t tell him all this while. All the same after a while of not speaking with me he moved out. I thought he was going to call i just wanted to give him space i mean my friends suggested i did that but time few by with no call no text the only time he came back to our house was to pick his remaining things. The first man i have ever loved was walking out of my life just like a mist that comes and go i wanted him back to show him that he changed me to show him with him am a different person,He kept saying he would not want the same thing to happen to him just like my exes i believed he still loved he though he never said but that thought made me contact Metodo the spell caster for help. I saw positive comments about him and someone said she has actually seen, that is come in contact with him during the time he helped her. Was not really sure what to believe i just thought i was desperate i need help right away or i was going to lose my dream man for life. Like honestly i was not going to travel for over thirteen hours or so to look for metodo in were he leaves cos one i din’t know anybody there and two my run my private spa so i had little all not time and it will be an expensive thing to do. I could not also get the materials he needed to cast the spell so i had to ask him to get them for me so i can give him the money to pay for them. Within the first seven week he sent me a some candle with some hand written don’t really know what to call it but will say words to recite at night at the right hour. At that time within the seven days, Stephen started coming around all the time i mean i don’t think it was coincidental cos really it wasn’t. I believed what Metodo was doing was working. Just after those seven day i received a parcel with something he gave me instruction on how to use. This is no lie in anyway Stephen and i are back together now he is no slave to anything cos of the spell he is just the way he was before the spell only made him love me more and never talk or think about my past life. Not everybody will believe this more over its just something on the internet but my heart knows every of this word that formed this entire comment is true. Living Metodo contact for those who believes me and needs help metodoacamufortress @ yahoo. com

    • SOPHIA

      I want to use this opportunity to tell everyone about dominionspelltemple@gmail.com on how he help me reunited with my husband after 2 months of divorce.My husband divorce me because he saw another woman in his office and he said to me that he is no longer in love with me anymore and decide to divorce me.I seek help from the Net and i saw good talk about dominion temple and i contact him and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me which i use to get my husband back within 2 days.If you need his help Email him at dominionspelltemple@gmail.com

    • hope mary

      Hello,everyone am from USA i never ever believed in spell until i meet a man called Dr hope,who help me cast a spell that bring back my ex-lover who left me for two years before our marriage,His spells works beyond my imaginations and today i am happily with two of my kids and my [ex-lover] now, my husband is very happy more than ever before, what more can i say rather than to say thank dr hope for been there for me,contact him today and your life will never ever remain the same his emailis;drhopesolution@gmail.com

    • jessylynn harvey

      Hello, My name is
      Jessylynn harvey. i want to share to the whole world on how Dr Keke Odin
      the chief Priest of all the spell casters in India Helped me reunite my
      marriage. To cut the long story shot, after 2 years of break up with my
      Husband with no phone calls or email messages. i was so frustrated
      because i have contacted so many other spell casters with no results.
      when i read about Dr Keke Odin (The Chief Priest Of all the spell
      casters in India) on his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com
      so i decided to contact him for help. to my greatest surprise, in just
      24 hours later my Husband called me and started begging for forgiveness.
      i am now a happy woman with a beautiful baby girl.all thanks to Dr Keke
      Odin. You can contact Dr keke Odin On directly on his email at greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com or contact him through his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com. his help is assured and guaranteed once again email him directly at greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com