‘And There Wasn’t A Single Injection-Free Pucker In Sight!’

These are the words that came out of my mouth when I walked home from an event last night — and it was very true. What’s also true is that I wanted to touch all those fake lips to see how they felt. Were they soft and supple? Or rock hard and without an ability to even feel my index finger probing them? I also wondered if, perhaps, if I had injected my own lips I would have fit in much better, because frankly, I felt like an outcast. OK, that’s a slight lie. My lips may be thin, but lip injections are just not my thing. A nose job, on the other hand…

I will never condemn plastic surgery. I feel for many, both men and women, it’s an essential part of feeling less insecure about their imperfect parts. I realize not everyone can come to terms with their physical flaws, so if plastic surgery is your thing, then let’s high-five and I’ll take you out for cupcakes afterward. However, some people take it to an extreme, or even worse, ruin an already beautiful face because of it — and that is the real tragedy of it all. Did my BFF (in my head anyway) Lindsay Lohan need lip injections? Hell no. Did any of the following women? No fucking way. But they went for it and the aftermath was less than pretty.

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    • Leila

      what…what is that on her ear? Look at Jackie Stallone and tell me her ears didn’t just slide down her entire head and land on her neck, probably because those gems have to approximately one Stallone bicep each. Gah! She’s like an evil muppet creation…

      • Meghan

        Ack. That is for reals scary.

    • sara

      I just looked up Jackie Stallone on wikipedia and she is 90. I can’t fathom the amount of plastic surgery she has had.

    • Cate

      Jackie Stallone also practices ‘rumpology’ which is like palm reading, but on butts. I’m really not kidding.

      • Amanda Chatel

        This is by far the most entertaining piece of info I have received all week!

    • Sam

      Jackie Stallone looks terrifying- It’s like they lifted her face and the ears got left behind!