Then, at 9:30, as I was leaving, to go home, and make a potato, for an hour, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend, with whom I sometimes get dinner, asking if I’d eaten. I had not. The answer to that was “No.” “Nooooooo,” said my belly, moving its belly button like an axolotl, “Nooooooooo.” If it had been anyone else I’d have said, “Come up to my apartment and sit for an hour and a half while I make us some delicious twice baked potatoes.” That is an offer people love! (No. No one loves sitting and waiting for a potato for an hour. I’d have given them a jar of peanut butter to eat, though, because that’s how I roll.)
But you really can’t invite anyone dated back to your apartment without making for a tense, awkward, awful situation. I don’t know. Maybe you can. You’re probably good at that. I just think the odds of that situation rapidly becoming awful are better odds than you’d see anywhere in Vegas.
So I said, “Let’s get sushi.” Look! I don’t like sushi that much! This was my best attempt to stay on track! Because, while you can clearly make many things, I am pretty sure one of them is not sushi. UNLESS you are in Wall Street. Charlie Sheen and Daryl Hannah do make awesome sushi off of that little hand-crank machine in that one scene in his uber-80s apartment.
Another food you cannot make is probably blowfish. I don’t know many good blowfish places. I don’t think anyone does other than Harrison Ford‘s character in Regarding Henry a movie that, at six, left me with the confused impression that Harrison Ford was a former lawyer who had been shot in the head while out buying cigarettes, and went on to became a successful actor.
In reality, Harrison Ford was originally a carpenter.
So, we went out and got sushi. I guess something bad happened at JP Morgan yesterday. That is your financial news of the day. Tell everyone you know.
I got some sushi with strawberry on it. It wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t great, and I cursed myself for getting strawberry sushi when I had strawberries at home.
Then I remembered you really can’t make sushi at home, and I felt a little better.
I’m going to make a bunch of foods over the weekend, and photograph them with autofocus on, and report on this on Monday. Also, I apologize for being a failure, and I hope the news I brought you will make up for it on some small level.