I mean, we can certainly say it looks pretty, because it does. Look!
We could also say it tasted it great, because lying is fucking fun, but it did not. It tasted like absolutely flavorless chicken combined with pretzels. Based on this recipe:
3 tablespoons fig jam
2 tablespoons prepared stone ground mustard
6 skinless, boneless chicken breasts, thighs or legs
8 ounces sourdough pretzels, coarsely crushed
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
1 large egg
1/2 cup water
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon hot sauce
1/2 cup flour
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
1. Preheat oven to 400°. Mix together fig jam and mustard in a small bowl; set aside.
2. Place pretzels in a food processor, and pulse until coarsely ground. Transfer to a shallow bowl.
3. In a medium bowl, whisk together peanut butter, egg, water, salt, pepper and hot sauce.
4. Place flour in a large plastic bag. Add chicken breasts and shake to coat evenly. Dip chicken in egg mixture, then dredge in the pretzel crumbs, pressing coating lightly to adhere to chicken. Place coated chicken on a rack set over a baking sheet. Bake until chicken is cooked through, approximately 20 to 25 minutes.
5. To serve, divide fig mustard among six plates, and using the back of a spoon, smear it in a line across center of plate. Place a piece of chicken on top of jam, garnish with parsley, and serve hot.
Obviously, I did not try the part about the fig jam, because, hahahahahahaah, are you kidding me, you decadent Eloi? Fig jam?! I did, however, combine some honey with regular mustard to make honey mustard, and I felt really good that I figured out that that is how honey mustard gets made. Like a supergenius.
Also, I could not find hot sauce, and, accordingly, did not use any. (I was in the supermarket for like 45 minutes, okay?) And I only did two chicken breasts, because I am only one person. (One chicken breast is sitting on my counter; I was going to bring it for lunch today, but I grew unenthusiastic about that prospect). That meant I divided everything except the egg, and maybe that made a difference.
So, I guess, if you’re going to try making this, definitely use tons of hot sauce? I don’t know. Maybe I was just expecting it to taste more like peanut butter? I love peanut butter.
So, that was sad. The salad that accompanied it, on the other hand, was much more successful. Nothing special. Blueberries. Strawberries. Some goat cheese. Raspberry vinaigrette.
Oh, it would have been simple, HAD I NOT CANDIED PECANS TO GO IN IT!
I totally candied my own pecans.
Here’s how you do that.
You dump half a cup of pecans in a sauce pan, on a stove, with the heat on.
You put in 4 tbsp of sugar
You put in 4 tbsp of water
You stir it all around for 7 minutes, until the water sugar mixture has mostly burned away.
You have candied pecans.
They really added something special to the salad.
My biggest regret about this whole week is that I didn’t get around to making a baked potato, which I still really want to do, especially since commenters have mentioned to how to microwave it effectively, or even stick a nail in it to make it cook faster. I like the nail idea, because I really want a soupcon of gritty realism with my food prep.
If it’s cool with you, I kind of want to keep doing this. I mean, I also want to eat in restaurants again, but I would like to continue cooking food, somewhat reluctantly (but secretly enthusiastically!) and report on it once a week. I know it seems gratuitous to post it on the Internet, but sometimes it’s really hard to motivate yourself to cook when you live alone and you know there’s no one else to see the things you bake. So, this solves that! Also, I want more recipes. Preferably ones with three steps that will not require me having to go to the supermarket ever again.