Dating Hijinks: He Made An Omelet; I Cried.

On Wednesdays, Amanda Chatel will be sharing stories about her strange, fascinating and sometimes wonderful dating life. If it makes you want to date, check out TheGloss dating page.

The worst part about dating, for me anyway, is the emotional baggage from past relationships that comes with it. Even if the new person is nothing like the old person, I always find ways to make the two overlap somehow, which ultimately leads to sabotaging the new situation.

Despite my extraordinary efforts to “nip it in the bud,” as they say, Tattoo Guy is still in the picture. Tattoo Guy is pretty much the opposite of the majority of guys I’ve ever dated. For starters, he’s older than me by two years — this is a first for me, as all the other fellas have been younger by at least a few years or more. He’s sweet, yet not so much when I need him to be otherwise (i.e., in the bedroom.), and he says really charming things to me. Granted, he could be lying, but let’s take it at face value and assume he really does think I’m pretty and witty and fun and whatever other malarkey came out of his mouth this morning. I also love the way he looks at me.

While these are indeed contrasts to previous fellas, he also, like every one before him, likes to cook. The guy is always cooking; it’s exhausting to watch these elaborate meals he makes at three o’clock in the morning. Where he gets the energy to whip up these masterpieces after inflicting pain on others all day long is a mystery to me, so I just disregard it, have a few bites of whatever he’s concocted, then wander into my bedroom.

However, last week Tattoo Guy fucked up a wee bit. What did he do? He made me an omelet. Sure, it may seem insignificant, but for me it is not. The last person to make me an omelet, the person who was always making us omelets at all hours of the day and night was Swede. One wouldn’t think that such a kind and thoughtful gesture on the part of Tattoo Guy would result in an emotional breakdown, but it did. Like any irrational person, I refused to eat it and locked myself in the bathroom. OK, I didn’t lock it, because Swede had kicked it in not once but twice so it no longer locks, but I did shut the door, turned on the shower and proceeded to cry. Some people cry over spilled milk, while I apparently cry over a few broken eggs.

When I finally pulled my shit together, I came out of the bathroom and explained that I just wasn’t feeling well. I also, a day later, explained the truth (I really need to nip this maturity thing in the bud as well.) Since then Tattoo Guy has made a few more omelets which he has all but tried to shove down my throat so as to help me get over my irrational behavior, but I’ve yet to give in to his omelet demands. However, I’ve stopped crying over his omelet making, and that alone shows I’m progressing. I think. Although if he really wants to see me eat for a change, he should bake me a few dozen cupcakes. Swede never liked cupcakes.

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    • Sam

      Omelets are kind of gross when you think about it, anyways! But really, I understand the irrational behavior thing when it comes to baggage…when Cameron and I were at a fancy restaurant once, I heard “Your Hand In Mine” (one of my ex and I’s “songs”) and I got so upset that I left my half-eaten food on the plate and walked into the bathroom to cry. Hysterically. In retrospect, my streaky-mascara’d face and bathroom run probably just made him think I was bulimic, but c’est la vie.

      Anyways, from now on, you should try to get super into eggs over-easy. <3

      • Amanda Chatel

        You speak the truth, Sammie-Son… they are kinda gross! I’M NEVER EATING THEM AGAIN!

    • Jerusha

      Oh Amanda, you lovely thing. Perhaps next time try eat some (because – hey! food you didn’t have to make/source yourself) and consider each mouthful a definitive “fuck you!” to Swede. Maybe?

      • Amanda Chatel

        I do like this idea quite a bit!

    • Maggie

      “I also love the way he looks at me.”

      D’AWWWW! He seems like a really good guy, and good for you for trying to get over past issues with/for him!

    • Nancy

      After reading about all of your crazy dating experiences, I am so so so happy for you right now!!! Tattoo guy sounds wonderful :D and you sound quite smitten!

      Also, not to perpetuate the whole “bitches be crazy” idea, but why do we do this? Why do things hit us like this so we just breakdown? I’ve never seen a guy burst into tears over stuff like this. Like me, on Tuesday it was a very nice day here. And where I live, somewhere in Canada (oooo mysterriouss!), we have the longest winter ever, and it’s always foggy and raining. And since ‘spring’ started (just a couple, slightly not freezing days), whenever the sun was out I was at work and it would get cold, windy, overcast, foggy or whatever before I got off EVERY TIME. I’m not joking at all, I really hadn’t had more than 15 minutes of sun at a time since last summer, so depressing. So Tuesday, at 5pm, it was still sunny! I was ECSTATIC!!! Then I went to get my jacket and walked outside….and it was COMPLETELY overcast and windy. I felt awful, and when I got home to my boyfriend I just brokedown and could not stop crying. It was nuts. And yes, there have been many other instances… Seems like it’s getting worse as I get older, which is counter-inuitive…

      • Sarah!

        I have definitely seen guys lose it when something reminds them of an ex, and it’s extremely disturbing. I’d be more comfortable if they were softly sobbing. They have all this weird energy and I think “Is he going to hit me? Like on accident? I’m pretty sure he’s going to hit me.”