• Wed, May 16 2012

Men Tell Us: If They Care Whether Or Not A Woman Can Cook

No? That’s a 1950′s archetype, right? Because people do not go around saying “Hey good lookin’, what you got cookin’?” Or “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?” Because that’s not true. What’s the way to a man’s heart? Through his chest cavity. Who knows that? This guy:

temple of doom priest

Now he will make you a quiche!

But when you mention you are cooking, people still ask if it’s something you are doing to impress men. Do men even care? We will anonymously consult our male friends and get to the bottom of this, like master chef Nancy Drew!

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  • Scarlett

    As a woman I like it when a man can cook. I was sorta seeing this guy and he couldn’t even boil water to make pasta, it sent up red flags. I’m a pastry chef so I don’t expect everyone to cook like a trained chef but if a guy cant boil water cook a burger; or (haven help him) WON’T cook EVER … then there is a problem.

    • Maggie

      Agreed! It’s definitely a red flag for me if a dude can’t/won’t cook; it makes me wonder if his mother spoiled him and whether he’s going to expect me to do all the cooking. I love to cook and do for my boyfriend all the time, but it’s when it becomes an expectation that I don’t like it.

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  • Cee

    My girlfriend cooks and I am learning to cook. I love to cook its just that it is so much easier to put it off when meals are already done when I come home. However, during the summer I do plan to learn to cook, particularly Thai food since I seem to eat quite a bit of it.

  • kjon

    I learned to cook about 2.5 years into my relationship. I did it to eat healthier plus I discovered I have a bit of a talent with it. At first I was hesitant because I didn’t want to be, for lack of a better term, “domesticated” but why stifle a growing passion?

    I like introducing the bf to new foods like tikka masala (stole that idea from a commenter here!), Greek wraps with lamb and tzatziki, veal shepherd’s pie and Thai beef salad* because he never had these things growing up. He had a more all-American diet – nothing wrong with that – but I like seeing him try new flavors.

    *Yes, I eat a lot of meat.

    • Maggie

      All of that sounds amazingly delicious. You should post links to the recipes!

    • kjon

      I use these old fashioned cookbooks that my mom gave me and doctor them up! I’ve changed every single recipe I have, haha. I did pull the Greek wraps from foodnetwork.com but they call it Greek “tacos” (da fuck?!):

      http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/jeff-mauro/greek-taco-recipe/index.html

      Instead of using mint in the tzatziki, I use dill and fresh lemon juice. I also use more wine/tomato paste/fresh lemon juice in the lamb. I also sprinkle a pitch of fresh dill into the cucumber tomato relish and double the amount of cucumber.

    • kjon

      @Maggie – My reply with a link disappeared when I tried to post it, sorry. Basically, I use old cookbooks that I change according to my tastes. Sometimes I pull recipes from the internet by using google, various food blogs or the food network website (Ina Garten is my favorite).

    • Frances

      I feel you about being “domesticated”. I am a great cool because I spent years working in a 5 star restaurant in Manhattan while in college where I learned a lot, but I seriously resent the comments my mother in law makes about me being able to “take care of her son” because of my skills in the kitchen.

      I’m not his mother, I don’t “take care” of anyone outside of the sense that two people in a relationship take care of each other, lol!

  • Megan

    I have pretty old school views about cooking and relationships (i.e. women cooking/baking, men grilling). I find it really attractive when a man can cook though, but I don’t necessarily always want him to cook for me. I grew up cooking with my mom in kitchen. Dinner was ready by a certain time, and our whole family came and sat at the dinner table and ate. Secretly though, I’d prefer it if the guys left the cooking to me.

  • MM

    Despite the traditional stereotype, I know more men than women who are really into cooking, and I always end up dating guys who really want to cook for me. Which is great, because I’m a pretty weak chef…I cook basics to eat myself but don’t feel comfortable cooking for other people.

  • Eileen

    I feel like most adults should be able to cook the basics. You’re not a chef? Fine! But you can make pasta, right? Everyone can make pasta. You can fry an egg, or toast a bagel, etc. It’s awesome to date someone who can cook, because then s/he can make delicious meals for cheap. But that’s not necessary. I wouldn’t date someone who couldn’t make anything, though, especially if he had no inclination to learn.

  • Georgie

    I reluctantly agree with the guy who broke up with a girl for not being able to cook…if a person can’t follow simple, written instructions maybe she is missing something upstairs.

    Going a bit off topic; I think the emphasis on ability to cook may be somewhat cultural. I’m Australian, living in England at the moment and cannot believe the variety of ready prepared food in this country! Half the supermarket is prepared meals, salads, sandwiches, pre-chopped vege etc. You just don’t get that in Australia. Also, my boyfriend is a chef and is working in a British pub and nothing is freshly prepared on site. He’s had trial shifts at other pubs and has asked around in the industry and it seems like the majority of food for pubs is prepared off site and more or less microwaved or deep fried before serving, so basically even the chefs in this country don’t need to know how to cook :/

    • porkchop

      I agree with you about the abundant pre-prepared food. And it is so expensive. Doesn’t anyone care about unit price??

      Also, yes bar food is crap here. But there are chefs doing real work in restaurants everywhere in the US. I hope your boyfriend finds a better job!

  • Maria

    The guy I’ve been living with for 3 years now gained major plus points in our dating phase when revealed he knows how to make lasagna from scratch or roast a turkey. we have made lots of lasagna since. men who can cook: SO HOT!

    But cooking is my favorite free time activity, so it’s really important he shares that.

    • Georgie

      I completely agree about men who can cook being sexy! It’s what initially attracted me to my boyfriend (standard waitress/chef relationship haha). We also bond through cooking – always bouncing new ideas off of each other and preparing food as a peace-offerings etc.

  • Emma

    I’m still in college, and this year, before we started dating, my boyfriend would bake me fresh loaves of rosemary bread in our dorm building and concocted all sorts of dipping oils to go with it. It was sweet, definitely won me over, but then he baked me four loaves in four days… TOO MUCH TOO SOON. It got to the point where I was in the bathroom stall, ripping off chunks off the loaves to flush down the toilet so I didn’t offend him (he lived in my hall, I couldn’t give it away). Now that I think about it, this faux consumption probably caused him to keep baking me more loaves…

  • Katie

    The guy I’m seeing can’t cook. Like, marinate meat, cook meat is pretty much the extent of what he does, though he’s always trying something new in the process. He’s an adventurous eater and a really good sport about it all. I love to cook, and cook fancy (and basic) things from scratch at every turn.

    He’s had everything I’ve made from homemade bread to homebrewed beer and had been full of questions, comments and encouragement. I’m with the guys above who say “not wanting to learn” is the main problem – cooking is more than food, it’s a social activity in my life and I’d want any guy I was with to be part of that.

  • The Dude

    I’m a guy. I can cook, but what a hassle. All of those dishes.