Gurl‘s ‘Sexy Times’: Let’s Talk About The V-Card

Although it’s been quite a long time since I, myself, have been or virgin, or have even known a virgin, it’s easy for me to forget just how nerve-racking the whole situation can be. It’s not so much nerves, but the scary fact that this is one particular sexual encounter that you will never forget. You never forget your first love, your first kiss, and you certainly don’t forget the first time you have sex.

My first time was on a bottom bunk in a dorm room at Keene State College with my boyfriend at the time. We had put on The Doors, climbed into bed and, well, it was a disappointment (good sex comes later in life.) I stared blankly at the metal springs over my head of the top bunk and patiently waited for it to be over. By the time the fella had orgasmed Joan Osborne‘s song “What If God Was One of Us” was playing, because the CD had ended and gone into radio mode. Do you know what it’s like to know that you technically lost it to that song? All these years of therapy have not helped.

However, for those of you who are still virgins and are getting ready to lose it, Gurl’s Sara Hoots is here to help. Her first tip, is to be honest with the guy if you’re still a virgin — and gauge whether or not you want to go forward with it with him based on his response. If you get some guy, who doesn’t want to take your V-card because he fears you’ll be a “clingy bleeder” afterward as we saw on HBO’s Girls a few weeks ago, then know he’s not the one to lose it to and that that extra special someone is just around the corner.

Don’t compromise when it comes to losing your virginity — you have years to do that later on with other guys, as we all have.

 

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    • Eileen

      I’m pretty sure you’ve told this story before. And honestly, who cares about “the first time”? It’s just one time, and it’s probably going to be awkward and painful, anyway, and putting it on a pedestal just serves to make women who lose their virginities in non-perfect ways (one-night stands, guys who turned out to be jerks, or, in the worst case scenario, sexual assault) feel bad about themselves and their sexualities.

      My first time was pretty forgettable, but it doesn’t matter because it was one time, as compared to the many times I’ve had and plan to have sex in the rest of my life.

      • Amanda Chatel

        Yeah, maybe I have told this story before but since this is our new partner site, I’m trying to make it relatable for new readers…

        Sorry for being redundant.

        (And yeah, I totally agree with you on all your points.)

      • Eileen

        (Yeah, that was a little bitchy – sorry! I’ve really just been around here too long, I think)

      • Amanda Chatel

        No, Eileen! Not bitchy at all! But I needed to justify my reason for this post and story!

        I love your comments always — whether you tell me to go fuck myself or support me, I love it! You’re a regular, so you’re so amazing always!

        Keep your comments real — people like you make us love our jobs! xoxo.

    • Tania

      I waited until I was 25, my sister waited until she was 22. It wasn’t about waiting for anything, really, because we’re not religious and we’re not romantics. It just took us a while to find someone who we actually wanted to see naked.

      The actual penetration part was nothing to write home about (because oww, nothing has hurt that much), but everything up ’til then? Awesome. Worth the wait.