• Tue, May 22 2012

If You’re ‘One Of The Guys,’ Then Be A Doll And Buy Me A Drink

It really has nothing to do with the gender of the people you spend time with. Hang out with boys, girls or people who are a little in between. Whoever makes you happy.

The problem with women who continue to claim that they’re “one of the guys,” is that they’re insulting everyone else who checks the ‘F’ box. Why do these women refer to themselves as guys? Because girls are uptight or emotional or “have drama.” They’re reinforcing that whole “crazy girl” part of our culture that says every woman with feelings is emotionally unstable and mentally unsound.

And you know what? That sucks. It’s a shitty thing to do to your fellow ladies. It doesn’t make you better than all of the drama, it makes you the cause of a lot of it.

Saying you’re “one of the guys” is an obnoxious line you use in high school because it worked for the protagonist in a romantic comedy. She took off her baseball cap, threw on a dress and make-up and suddenly her crush fell in love with her. If you’re still waiting for that script to play out, I’m really sorry. It still doesn’t excuse your insult to the rest of the women in the world who have their own rom-coms running through their heads.

So unless you’re actually packing a Y chromosome, how about you stop referring to yourself as “one of the guys.”

(Photo: TQCast)

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  • macalny

    Wow. Based on this out-of-left-field rant and the irrational slam on Anchorman yesterday it would seem that Lindsay has some unresolved issues with a person (some persons?) she doesn’t like very much. Sorry a tomboy done you wrong, Ms. Cross, but if you’re hanging out with 15-year-olds (the only females who, in my experience, claim to be ‘just one of the guys’) perhaps you should find new people to spend time with.

    • D

      Agreed. If women genuinely like Anchorman or hanging out with guys and watching the game, why hate on that? Saying you’re one of the guys doesn’t mean you dislike girls.

  • Maggie

    Hear, hear! I can’t count how many times I’ve heard another girl say “I hate girls.” Well, too bad you are one. What they should be saying is “I hate catty girls who are mean and petty,” not all girls in general. Being “one of the guys” is not all it’s cracked up to be anyway. Who wants to sit around watching guys burp and scratch their balls? Not this girl.

  • Nancy

    Is this directed at the two of us girls who said we genuinely loved Anchorman on your other post, or someone you know personally? Hoping I’m just a little paranoid that it’s in response to us.

  • Cee

    Hmmm passive aggressive hating on someone?

  • Vanessa Vieira

    Lindsay is not saying she thinks all girls who like Anchorman, watching sports, and hanging out with guys dislike other girls. She is talking about a specific type of female who constantly brags about being ‘one of the guys.’ A girl who always tells people she gets along with guys better than girls. A girl who wants EVERYONE to know she likes ‘dude bro dude’ stuff. A girl who has to shout it from on top of a mountain (Anchorman quote — OMG that must mean I’m ‘one of the guys’) for everyone to hear is probably just insecure and thinks it’s cool to be ‘one of the guys.’ Girls can have a bunch of male friends, they can like sports, they can like beer, wings, cars, etc., but there is no reason to boast about it. Cool, you like football, that does not make you ‘one of the guys’ — that makes you a girl….who likes football.

  • BeccaTheCyborg

    Penises (or not) and Y chromosomes don’t make someone their gender either. BUT, this post is otherwise 99% pure triple-distilled excellence.

    • http://www.facebook.com/lindsaychartman Lindsay Cross

      Becca, I really did think about that after I wrote this piece. And I couldn’t find a way to fit in what is obviously a serious talk into this more sarcastic rant. But you’re right, a person’s gender is more than body parts and chromosomes.

    • BeccaTheCyborg

      I definitely get it, but it hurts actually more than I usually expect it to to have that kind of thing come up (and I’m just genderqueer). Possibly because otherwise, I want to link everyone to this article, and maybe cross-stitch it on a pillow (after learning to cross-stitch).

    • http://www.facebook.com/lindsaychartman Lindsay Cross

      A) I actually know how to cross-stitch and now want to make you whatever pillow your heart desires.

      B) I promise to be more thoughtful in every piece I write when I mention gender and how its expressed.

      C) Suggestions on how to fix?

    • BeccaTheCyborg

      Not even exaggerating, your response has made my entire day. Thank you so, so much.

      Umm, as for fixes? I suppose just not connecting gender with body parts or chromosomes.

      “Just one of the guys” women are really annoying to me as a gender variant person. I mean, it perpetuates a lot of stuff about stereotypes and identity that’s really kind of awful and belittling. And their expectation that I will commiserate in their misogyny. Hell naw.

  • Sarah!

    When I meet a girl who fits this stereotype I always think, “I’m not like a regular girl, I’m a COOL GIRL. There are no rules in this relationship!”

    I agree with other commenters that this seems to be a problem more with younger women, by which I mean under 22. That age range suffers from identity issues more frequently and are more prone to sweeping generalizations. I do think this attitude is influenced pretty heavily by TV and romantic comedies.

  • Lindsey

    Yessss. I especially hate when girls only do ‘boy stuff’ when boys are around. Like, girls who NEED adoration and love from men. Also, I’ve noticed that girls who claim that they hate drama attract and revel in it the most.

    • http://www.facebook.com/lindsaychartman Lindsay Cross

      Oh my Heavens, that’s a post in an of itself. If you’re the person who constantly yells about “hating drama,” you’re normally one of the major causes of it.

  • Magda

    I dont claim to be “one of the guys” but I’ve found that my male friends don’t censor themeselves around me the way they do our other female friends. When I’ve asked about it, they always say something along the lines of, “Because it doesnt matter, you get it/dont get mad/offended because you’re like one of the guys.” I dont think its a thing that I strive towards. I love heels and dresses and baking but somehow, I’ve still been put in that category.

    I have literally had a male friend tell me “Its too bad you’re not a guy because then we could be such good bro’s”. Like those were almost his exact words.

    • Kasey

      I know what you mean! My best friend of 21 years and I have an edited “Bro-mance” if you will. I say edited b/c I am not a guy, but the line only stops at things I literally cannot do b/c of being female. But seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever laughed more with gal-pals than I do with my guys. It’s freeing!

      Btw, guys scratch themselves ALL the time. Just like girls have ways to pull a wedgie out without being obvious, they can do anything to their junk and you won’t even see it.

  • Sweva

    Angry much? Sounds like you’re sharpening your axe for the holiday weekend.

  • Kasey

    Just to clear up any questions, I’m 26. I can quote and act out almost every scene from Anchorman and can’t wait for the sequel. I also grew up in a field house b/c my daddy is a football coach. I understand the game with great interest and I can do the stats if need be. I also have a very large membership to Sephora, Birchbox, Allure magazine, wear Chloe perfume, and only wear heels when I go out. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I had no idea that at the age of 15, if a girl feels comfortable with a group of guys because she isn’t being held to an impossible standard, she’s hated by other girls? Wait, that doesn’t make sense and yet that’s what you seem to write. If it weren’t for the boys, high school would have been HELL for me and it’s girls like this who enjoyed to bully me. So maybe you should think twice before you go off on a tangent about a girl who says she is “one of the guys” b/c it could be her saving grace.

  • Heather

    Love this article!