Crowdsourcing: Help Jen Dziura Pick Her Wedding Dress!

monique lhuillier dress wedding

Jen is getting married! Jen needs to wear a dress to get married. Should Jen wear this non-white Monique Lhuillier dress?

Sorry! This poll is now closed.

If you think she should not, do you have another suggestion? If you top this, and Jen actually chooses your suggestion, I’ll send you some swag. I don’t know what. Probably a box full of beauty stuff. You know. To help you land a man.

Some things Jen notes that you may or may not want to take into account. I mean, you should probably take them into account if you want a free box of random beauty swag but I don’t know you, or how you make decisions:

There will be no bridesmaids. [EIC NOTE: all I want is to be a maid of dishonor]. Also, no aisle. No groom-not-seeing-me. I will actually just be there, like a normal person, when people arrive. I’ll be like, “Welcome! I am wearing a dress! And having a party! I am not a virgin and you already know what I look like, so let’s get this over with and drink!”

Here are the requirements:

The dress should be long. Probably.

It should incorporate light/neutral colors. Unless it’s otherwise awesome.

No pastels. Or, at least, not entirely pastel.

$2,000 or less.

Can be repurposed for the Oscars, should I simply happen to be attending.

Off the rack. I don’t need tailoring! Sorry to be the bitch everyone hates, but everything ever made in my size by any designer ever, fits me. Seriously. Every time I try something on, it fits. I’m the one they make all the clothes for.
I didn’t ask for this privilege, but there it is.

Bonus points for as snooty a designer name as possible within that price range.

No vintage. I don’t care how hip it is, I like new things. I also don’t read library books, because someone else might have read them on the toilet.

So, there you have it. Go! Make brilliant suggestions!

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