• Thu, May 24 2012

What Was The Most Boring/Terrifying Part of 50 Shades Of Grey? Let’s Discuss.

50 shades of grey

Okay, I finally bought 50 Shades Of Grey, because I assumed we were over all the hype, but new office mates are talking about how “women are getting off on the subway reading this”, so I guess not. I guess the subways have just become an ocean of ovum. But how? And I am saying this as someone who has had no fewer than 17 orgasms from reading The Thorn Birds on a unicycle. Let’s look at actual passages, and vote for the things that are most disturbing and unsexy and frankly just not really all that exciting? What part of 50 Shades of Grey did you hate most!? Let’s share together!

1) When Christian Grey stalks Anastasia to the hardware store where she works and is like “hi, I am here to buy industrial strength rope and masking tape.”

2) When Anastasia asks him if he’s redecorating after he bought rope and masking tape and he replies:

“No, not redocrating,” he says, quickly, then smirks, and I have the uncanny feeling he is laughing at me.”

ANASATASIA HE IS A SERIAL KILLER RUN RUN RUN.

2) When all billionaire Christian Grey does for work is send packages to Darfur. When does he throw a stapler at an intern? Or… short stocks? Or freak out and start crying because he runs a reinsurance fun and there is a hurricane in Tortuga? Never. The answer is “never.” I suspect this man does not have a real job.

3) When she drunk dials him and he shows up at the bar she is at 20 minutes later.

4) When he and her dad talk about fishing?

5) When they discuss her diet for, like, 50 total pages. Really? Is this what we fantasize about? A man who says “you should eat three full meals a day?”Just eat like a person. Just do your person imitation at mealtimes.

6) Dude, this book is dumb.

7) When he emails her the dictionary definition of “submissive” and she e-mails him the dictionary definition of “compromise.” Were we supposed to say “oh, snap!”?

8) When there is a lesson in condom application that runs “pinch the top then roll it down. You don’t want any air in the end of that sucker.”

9) When the only book this girl has read is seemingly Tess of the d’Urbervilles, a book mostly about a girl getting raped horribly. Actually, just everyone in that book is awful. And they keep using it as foreplay.

9) Wait, this is the only good part of the book: when they drink Bollinger Grand Annee Rose 1999 out of teacups. That is fucking charming. There is no universe where that isn’t  fun. I hope the tea-cups had funny drawings on them.

Okay, your turn. Best/worst/boringest parts. Go.

 

 

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  • Ozay

    The inner goddess! WORST.

    • Larissa

      OhGODno the Inner Goddess made me want to punch someone. Preferably that damn Inner Goddess.

  • Marissa

    The worst part was definitely the “erotic” extraction of her tampon. Disturbing. But honestly, the many times he says, “Laters, Baby,” were just as bad.

    • Tania

      I have now horrified half the people I know by sharing this quote.

  • Alicia

    I’ve got 2:

    1. Ana chooses to go on the progesterone only pill but is clearly not self aware enough to realize that she is NEVER going to remember to take it properly. My two year old asks for her Gummie Bear vitamin the minute she wakes up. Come on.

    2. The “lip biting” thing. We get it, Christian thinks it’s hot. There’s no need to remind us every 4 pages. I think most readers have a better memory than Ana does.

    :)

    • traci

      i felt the same way about the lip biting thing! omg! let it go!

    • Jennifer Wright

      The lip thing is the worst! I’ve got it. He wants to bite her lip. Also, I’m convinced this detail will give every fifteen year old girl secretly reading this book bloody chapped lips.

  • Christie

    So I’m trying to decide if I should even read this book. Part of me is intrigued, but the more I hear about it, the more I think I’m going to hate it and feel like I’ve wasted my time reading it. Thoughts?

    • Marissa

      I hated it. But, I’ve had so much fun making fun of it, that it’s totally worth it. It’s kinda like watching a terrible horror movie to see if you can find the zipper on the monster costume.

      I mean…it’s a truly terrible book. Ana is a complete moron, who doesn’t even know how to set up an e-mail account, who wasn’t aware most women shave their arm pits and bikini lines and who wears the same stupid plum dress that she’s borrowed from her friend every time she has to dress up.

      Also, I googled signs of an abusive relationship and decided Christian fulfills nearly all. But it’s okay! Because he’s rich, careful and controlling only because he’s so “worried” about her.

    • Christie

      Hmmm… this is making me not want to read it. I really despise helpless women in novels. This is why I am not a Jane Austen fan.

    • Beverly

      I felt the same way…but as Marissa said, it’s SO fun to make fun of! I read it before before (don’t laugh) only because it’s mindless and the monotony of the story line helps to put me to sleep.

  • Sabrina

    Great, well now I think I have to read it. I decided I wasn’t going to when on Mother’s Day this year when I decided to do something super nice for my mom and I took her out to the fanciest French restaurant we have here in Seattle, and all she wanted to talk about was 50 shades of gray… but now, after reading this and the comments, I think I have to read it, just to see for myself.

    Also, if anyone is interested, this awesome lady made a perfume inspired by the book and it honestly is the most amazing/sexified perfume I have ever owned. Believe me, you won’t be sorry you got it. I think you might be able to sample it as well… http://www.etsy.com/listing/99269709/fifty-shades-of-greyanastasia-perfume

  • Liz

    I’m so happy someone else gets how awful this is! The lip biting, the horrible e-mail sequences (and her constantly saying she was “firing up” the computer made me want to drown myself), Christian’s ripped (and I’m assuming here) 1996 Levi’s Silvertab jeans he saved for his “Red Room of Pain” (stupidest. name. ever.). I could go on and on but the rest of you covered the bases, especially @marissa-I died when you addressed that terrible plum dress!

    • Ashley

      I think what’s-her-face “fires up her mean machines” like 15 times.

  • len132

    Tess of the d’Ubervilles? As FOREPLAY?! That book does not warm my ladyparts, it just fills me with rage.

  • Maris

    Honestly, I think I blocked out the part when he extracts her tampon. Now that I think of it, though, I remember that I wondered which brand of tampons has a blue string. Maybe it’s a West coast thing?

    1. He refers to having her period as “bleeding.” As in, “Are you bleeding?”

    2. Calling condoms “foil packets.”

    3. The fact that she refers to her anatomical parts as her “sex” and her “behind.”

    • Angee

      I agree with the ‘sex’ part: if the book is racy enough to describe intercourse in such intricate detail as it does, I feel it should just include the word ‘vagina’ for peat’s sake.

    • Sophie

      Australia! We have blue string tampons.

    • Alicia

      Yes!! The stupid “foil packets!” Argh!!

    • hypatia arez (@justhypatia)

      I think o.b. is the company with the blue string. I think it’s so it’s easier to see on the applicator-less models.

      Yup, that’s all I have to add to this discussion.

    • Sabrina

      Am I the only one here who’s bf pulls out her tampon?!

  • Ewa

    1. When he “goes submissive” on her. For some reason, I found that more disturbing than all other sh*t combined.
    2. When he proposes… very short into their relationship, saying they can “can get to know each other then.”

    Inner Goddess becomes unbearable after a while; but what made me smile was how, after I started to skip sex scenes, the author herself started to do the same.

    • Ewa

      Sorry, wrong volume. I think this proves the books are increasingly irritating.

  • Chelsea

    I honestly only wanted to read the book after I saw the SNL Mother’s Day skit. But after reading these comments I think I’ll just wait until the movie comes out. And apparently it was based off of a Twilight fanfic, I’m guessing the “adult” version though. But seriously, how are women getting off after reading this book??? Are they all single women who have been deprived of real pleasures? I mean read the Zane books or something.

  • Brittany

    YES!! Finally! Maybe it’s because I work with almost middle aged women who’ve read this book and loved it that I expected I would, but I didn’t — and I’m glad others didn’t get the same pleasure (heh) out of it.

    I am with all of you on the “biting my lip” bits and especially the tampon part, but what kept getting to me was the over-use of the word flush. Reading it, I took it for what it meant. However, when I griped to people over why I didn’t enjoy the book, once I said “Flush” my immediate thought went to toilets.

    I also actually kept skipping over the sex scenes. They got boring after a bit.

    That said, I will be reading the next two books because I’m lame and I actually want to understand why Christian is 50 Shades of Fucked. Which also reminds me (!!) that towards the end “50 Shades …” was getting waaaay overplayed.

  • Linda

    Know what really bothered me in the first book? The fact that she’s never had a computer, didn’t really know how to use one, and was resistant to it. What kind of 21 year old in 2011 doesn’t know how to work a computer??

    And the girl just graduated as an English major!! She HAD to type those papers up, no college now accepts hand written papers. AAGGGHHH

  • Alejandra

    Yes, this book was so bad! The sex scenes are redundant and it’s always her being naive and not knowing what to expect. The tampon pulling was gross! I’d be so disgusted and angry at a man if he ever pulled out my tampon to have sex with me. Not knowing how to use a cell phone or lap top is absolutely ridiculous! This book makes Twilight look good. I read the second one to see if thats the one people were saying was good but it’s not I refuse to read the third I’m sure she’ll marry him and end up pregnant. AND Christian Grey is a total stalker! He’s worse than Edward Cullen and Anastasia is sooo dumb and “innocent”.

    • Sarina Proctor

      LMAO ” this book makes Twilight look good” hahaha im crying

  • tarly

    This is the worst book I have ever read. I kept reading it to find out why Christian was the was he was. The best part-er only redeeming part was at the very end when we got his POV.
    The stupid FOIL PACKETS!!
    The lip biting
    “Did you eat today?”
    Curly tendrils hanging down. Do people still wear their hair like this?
    The effing plum dress that isn’t even hers.
    The great overreaction that happens when someone else tries to dance with Anastasia
    Christian is a stalker, and everything horrible he does to hers is for her own good. Right.
    “Did you eat today?”
    “REd room of pain” lololol is she twelve?
    The flushing and murmuring.
    Ana keeps on emailing Christian through the work email after he told her about ten times not to.
    Christian keeps responding to her work emails after he told her to stop using her work email.
    “Did you eat today?”
    One word: Mia
    No one dies
    Christian is a billionaire at 26. Not millionaire. Billionaire. With a top notch body and looks. Riiight.
    Christian “submitting”
    And let’s not forget, “Did you eat today?”

    • Sarina Proctor

      Hahahaha I love u put, “Did you eat today?” Twice hahaha

  • tarly

    oh shit, let’s not forget, the parts where christian asks ana a question and she doesnt answer him. she takes forever to respond and he has to ask her about 20 times. just answer the damn question!!! i don’t understand why this was beneficial to the story at all, especially since she does it so often and it takes up so many pages.
    but whatever. i guess el james is laughing all the way to the bank. it just proves, it doesn’t matter if a writer is talented or if the story is interesting. just write something “controversial” and voila, success! and i don’t see what’s so controversial about this novel against other sex novels. why is this flat out on display at target? i don’t get it. ok i’m done.

  • Sasha

    It’s a harlequin romance novel with smut that is coming out of a horny repressed woman’s mouth! This book is really for bored people who don’t know better and I am sad that it’s “sweeping the nation.”. Also that it’s “mommy porn.”. I think I’ll just go out and get some real porn…

    PS there are many other ancient and contemporary books that explore BDSM with much better writing, better sex, better s+m and even better romance… It ain’t new!

    • Desiree

      Don’t insult Harlequins. Any Harlequin I ever read was 1000% better than this.

  • Zakiyyah

    Any mention of the “inner goddess.”

  • Zakiyyah

    Oh and why does everyone murmur and mutter. No one just speaks.

    • Julie

      My thoughts exactly! It really got pretty bad every time I saw a murmur I’d roll my eyes. She didn’t even use the word in the correct context. Annoying!!

  • Melissa

    I got bored after reading about her losing her virginity. I read the “Story of O” when I was in the 10th grade and even that classic novel was a curiosity. Men make great submissives. Takes them back to their inner child. No one really likes a “pushy” man.

  • Sarah

    1) I hate the fact that she keeps comparing the characters to the characters of Tess of the d’Ubervilles. It’s like she wanted to sound literary, and so she found a random book on spark notes. As someone who had to suffer through this book in highschool, there are few similarities between the character of the two books. The only one I can think of is that I want to punch all of them in the face.

    2) The inner goddess this is annoying, but the subconscious thing is worse. Who actually has conversations with their subconscious? It’s the unconscious mind, and therefore it can’t speak to you. I seriously think the author should have spent time looking up subconscious instead of compromise.

    3) The fact she didn’t have a computer or an email address, but she had an iPod loaded with Snow Patrol songs. Also the fact that her MacBook Pro had 1.5 TB hard drive and 32G RAM, which isn’t even possible.

    4) What college has a valedictorian?

  • Jana

    So I read the first book and wanted to throw it across the room, but I am curious, what does happen in the other two? I don’t care enough to read them, just want to know how EL James stupidly decided to wrap them up.

  • Maxx Angenetta Jones

    are there any good parts to the book

    • lee

      the last page?

  • The Mommy Psychologist

    Don’t even get me started! This book was SO terrible I couldn’t even finish it.

    1. What 22 year old college student doesn’t have their own computer or an email address? Christian has to supply her with one and she’s like “I have an email address?” Puh-lease!

    2. A 22 year old apparently beautiful woman who is a virgin but has no religious affiliation. She’s just not interested?? Because she’s so busy reading good literature?

    3. If she said “inner goddess” one more time my inner goddess was going to vomit.

    4. How many times can you bite a lip? Seriously.

    I could go on and on and on…..

    “The child psychologist who thought she had all the answers to parenting until she became one herself.” http://www.themommypsychologist.com

    • Tania

      My sister was 23 and I was 25 before we lost our virginities, with no religious affiliations. Sometimes you just don’t find someone you want to sleep with, even when you have men wanting to sleep with you.

      Neither of us lacked those.

    • Anie

      I agree with everything except number 2. I’m 22 and haven’t had sex yet, and I know for a fact I’m not the only one. Also: asexuals exist. :)

      What baffles me about Ana is her ignorance on the topic. Virgin or not, there are some things you should know (and not from Wikipedia,haha)

    • mizbecky

      I totally agree with your comments…..100%….

  • Gen

    Honestly, one of the best things to come from this book is the outbreak of parodies following it. Here’s one that’s going around — it takes on the idea of “mom porn” and what women really find hot: http://imissyouwheniblink.com/2012/04/03/fifty-shades-of-laundry-folded-neatly/

  • Amy

    I think the fact Anastasia orgasms about 450 times throughout the book is ridiculous, unrealistic and frankly all the sex scenes (minus the grim tampon moment) seem to blur into one.
    I invented my very own single girl’s drinking game while reading this:
    you must drink everytime:
    she bites her lip
    she flushes/blushes/goes red
    THERE IS REFERENCE TO HER ‘INNER GODDESS’
    he has a ‘wicked’ smile
    she orgasms (crikey I’m drunk already)
    she puts her hands behind her head
    every time there is a reference to Kate’s dress
    every time there is a reference to her ‘sex’

    This book is quite literally what I’d imagine 16 year old virgins assume sex is like, trust me it isn’t. And nobody gets an ”A” for the first blowjob they ever give – who are you trying to fool!

    • K

      LOL LOL LOL – I wanna join in on your drinking game. You totally pointed out exACTLY what I thought to be the most annoying parts of this book. I don’t think I can EVER bear to hear ANY of these; “flushes/blushes/goes red” again. I’m already quite a drinker – but NOW I’m an alcoholic. Cheers. (Glad I “only” paid HALF price for this unrealistic dud) – frankly, I’ve been closer to “get off” more times reading a Bukowski novel.

    • Sarina Proctor

      LMAO!! Dont forget to drink to everytime she thinks the word “delicious or deliciously” I fuckin hated that word after reading it!

  • Sasha

    That’s exactly what I said. This is clearly from a horny woman who has NO idea what real sex is like. “I came instantly, then again and again.” Are you kidding?

    • lee

      obviously ur sasha grey

    • Jules Bartow

      It could have been written by Forest Gump. He came instantly. It doesn’t explain the again and again part though.

  • Inelegant Life

    You all are awesome! The tampon thing didn’t bother me that much. I prefer a guy who isn’t grossed out by the whole period thing. Yank that sucker out and go for it. But you got the rest of it. Oh, “Holy cow!” and “Whoa”. Can’t forget those. I’m so sick of the word “baby” I cringe whenever I hear it or – God forbid – say it myself. A few of us are starting an online book club next week and our first book is The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. Email me if you want to join. I am going to finish the 50 Shades trilogy. Just cuz that’s how I am. I have to finish once I’ve started.

  • Why Hello

    Am I the only one here who thinks Christian Grey is a bit of a *yawn*? Or does that just reveal the depths of my depravity :P Just kidding. I have to admit that Christian Greys are a bit of my kryptonite – I’ve had many variations – very very wealthy boyfriends, boyfriends that flew helicopters, owned boats, ski chalets, very expensive cars, ran large companies and yes boyfriends with serious emotional issues. The two often go together. Luckily for me :). And are often sex addicts or have some other kind of sexual issue – some of them are actually asexual, some of them kinky beyond belief. Not one of them has been able to have a normal, loving relationship, even though I was with each of them 2-3 years and eventually left every single one of them. I don’t know why I attract them – I think it’s because I’m the same inside. I’m not particularly beautiful or glamorous, though probably slightly above average if I’m in the right mood and like Ana, I love my jeans and sneakers. I’ve gotten luxurious, extraordinary gifts, been treated like a princess and a slave all on the same day. People need to realize that this kind of man is not normal. And the emotional scars are serious. All the diamonds in the world, won’t save your soul :).

    • just wow.

      kill it with fire.

    • Toki Nakamura

      Money can’t save your soul – Savoy Brown

    • Claudia

      Calling bullshit on this comment. Internet really dose let you live out your fantasy I guess.

  • Colleen

    Hated this book so much! What about the word, ‘Jeez’ and the phrase, ‘oh, crap’? Seriously?

    And gotta love it when a character “almost literally dissolves into the couch”. Huh?

    Why? Just, why?

    • Jennifer Wright

      Why? Because she has no bones!

  • veronica

    yawn…my god what a boring load of nonsense.the first book was ok,the second book had me flipping pages it was so dull.the sex eventually got flicked straight past – too much and it gets dull.It is a load of unbelievable nonsense.just finished the third book with quite a bit of page flicking.I can’t see the hype.women who are getting off on this book have obviously very boring sex lives.
    I think the author got bored at the end and thought ‘i’ve run out of things to write,just chuck them a family an a happy ever after’.
    I had never even heard of this book till my sister mentioned it.I brought them to see what the fuss was about.I wish i could get my money back it’s sooooo dullll.how is this a best seller???

  • Desiree

    She climaxes every single time. She’s a robot.

  • Jenny

    HE PULLS OUT HER TAMPON AND FUCKS HER. wat.

    • lee

      only try this when ur next to the toilet

    • Jules Bartow

      Jenny, Some incredibly intelligent women get so excited that all normal thought processes shut down in anticipation. I was surprised the first time I encountered a tampon in business owner with a masters degree. As a bonafide homophobe I can only imagine that a menstruating women’s vagina has gotta be way more attractive than the smell of feces clinging to a penis that’s been in a gay man’s rectum.

  • Kelly

    I’m soooooo glad more people thought this book was ridiculous. Just another lame book/movie that gives women unrealistic ideas about relationships and now sex… I’ll like to meet the woman who had an orgasm her first time… let alone every single time after. The constant references to Tess of d’Urbervilles is an insult to Thomas Hardy. I skim read the 2nd book thinking it must get better somewhere… have left it unfinished.

    All comments above are valid and made me laugh. Least thats one good thing I got from reading the book!!

  • Linda
  • Laure

    The sex was pretty boring to me… I mean, if you’ve read Sade, Anais Nin, Appolinaire, or heck even good fanfiction, you just don’t see the appeal of the same scene repeated a million times.
    Also, I started cringing after the 10th “Holy cow”, and every time she described Christian as “hot” (buy a thesaurus, will you?)
    In general, I find it deeply disturbing that this book has so much success when it conveys once again the idea that women find stalkers sexy, and that girls become incapable of coherent thought in the presence of a sexy man. And it’s written by a woman. This is a sad day for us, ladies.

  • Courtney

    I think this book is a load of crap. I am on the second one and am seriously considering not finishing… I can’t stand the way she orgasms everytime she has sex or he even touches her nipples ffs it’s ridiculous. And what even is an inner goddess? Plus I think it’s implying that women will put up with sexual abuse when it’s with a ‘hot’ rich guy. Ugh, I just think this book is stupid.

    • lee

      why not. they put up with when its an ugly poor guy. might as well get a new car as well as a kicking

  • Courtney

    Oh yeah and I also hate the way the characters are like the ones from ‘Twilight’…

    • Tay

      It was originally a fanfiction written about the Twilight characters so it makes sense that they are pretty much the same people. So much for creativity.

  • Kathryn

    Such a boring story I am a serious reader and found it hard to pick these books up waste off my money too hyped up

  • Jillian

    I can’t handle the repetitiveness…… Most have mentioned the “jeez” “oh my..” or even “oh…” which I hated even more, but in all the reviews and sites I’ve seen I haven’t heard anyone mentioned….

    HER ELONGATED NIPPLES!!! Every time they started doing anything he had to play with and LENGTHEN her nipples. Ok we get it already! Write different foreplay!!!

  • evita

    It must be one of the most boring books i have read. repetitive, perdictable (the annoying inner goddess and sub!!!) and worrying about the portraying of an intelligent woman would be willing to subject herself to things she is scared off to keep her man. In this year 2012? you are kidding me. It starts like a bad Mills&Boon and just goes downhill from there. The erotica is not even a turn on. Please tell me that real goddesses do not get off on this dribble! Sigh. thanks for letting me get this off my chest

  • evita

    forgot another gripe: that much sex and alcohol is making me feel ill!

  • Lorna

    OMG this is the most boring, unintelligent book I have ever read. I skimmed read some parts as it was so repetitive and dull. Lip biting, inner goddess…..the author has made a shed load of money for a totally uncreative book full of s**t, she is certainly no literary genius. I only bought the book to ‘stay in the loop’ because it seemed everyone was/is reading it. Very clever marketing though that is the genius of this book, so top marks for that.

  • Mia

    -The “oh my” and my favorite, argh while having sex. Argh? really? she becomes a pirate during sex? raise your hand if you find that stimulating?…guess the writter couldn’t find a better word?
    -The whole Mr. Wonderful pulls out tampon tosses it and inserts himself in. Oh and I’ll never forget that bloody bath they have after that tampon sexcapade. I guess we are suppose to forget she is like on day#2 of her period.
    -Oh yea and incredibly orgasmic wonder Ana doesn’t suffer from period cramps, cause she is lucky that way.
    -When she is cleaning the anal plug and she thinks, it isn’t dirty like she expected…ewwww!!
    -The Mr. Grey and the Mrs. Grey a million times when they address each other.
    -The inner Goddes, Ana herself
    -The later’s baby by all characters
    -The all men who meet Ana are in love with her.
    -The women who are getting aroused after reading this book
    -The writter for probably becoming $$$$ loaded with the sales of this book!!!!

    Sadly I wasted my time on this book but not my money. My good intentioned sister in law sent me all three books after she read them, cause she loved them. I however would not recommend them to anyone I love. =/ Ever.

    • Sarina Proctor

      Omg, I cried laughing reading your response! I agree I find ARGH so stimulating during sex, NOT

    • Jules Bartow

      When you join a motorcycle gang, one of the initiation rights is to go down on a woman menstruating. If that floats your boat look for a new rider without the black 8-ball billiard ball patch.

  • karen

    who uses a blackberry in 2011? Wouldn’t a billionaire have something more up to date ?

    • Sarina Proctor

      And who emails constantly back in forth on a cell phone? Like, just TEXT!

    • M

      Blackberry is more safe to use as far as privacy goes.

  • Inner goddess is stupid

    Next time, please capitalize ‘Marine’ in the writing when referring to the military type and I agree with pretty much all he comments below.

  • John

    I haven’t read it but I’m assuming that since it’s “porn for women”, there has to be at least one reference to “turgid member”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mariephilippe.garon Romy De Hesse Darmstadt

    This book looks so horrible… I will definitely not read it. Tho, I don’t understand what is so disgusting about him taking her tampon out or the buttplug thing ? Honestly, it happens sometimes that even if you’re on your period, you’re still horny enought to have sex… And anal sex, well, it can be freaking awesome honestly ! Anywayz, the only thing I hope about this book is that it would make smut or sex stories a little more mainstream because honestly, there’s some AWESOME erotic books it’s just that you never hear about them… May be with 50 shades of Grey it’s gonna become more acceptable or something.

  • Elin

    Dont know what boring sex you guys have but i can honestly relate to some things in the book. I admit it, sex is not always mindblowing-multiple orgasm-comes at the same time-superhorny-oh-so-fantastic all the time. But god dammit does it happen! And yes, you can come the first time and some people DO get an A first time they do a blowjob. And yes, people ARE actually that horny if they found someone extremely attractive and exciting! I have NO problem with the sex-parts. All though it gets kind of boring when they ALWAYS and ALWAYS come together. THAT is what bugs me the most! I can only recall that Ana came first one time- but then they continued for 23 seconds and Christian came- and so did she, again. Stuff like that has never happened to me so I just get jealous (cuz I want that!) and angry (because it most be impossible!!)

    Other than that – the book is simply amazing. And you cant really judge the story in the books when you’ve only read the first one. I can admit that the writing in the first one is not that good. But it just gets better for every book. In the second book I actually cried- like ugly-cry. That has NEVER happend for me while reading a book. Never. That says allot!

    So my tip is:
    Read ALL THREE books, and then discuss the storyline. You will have a whole other view of it!

  • K

    Did anyone COUNT just HOW many times she says; “flushes/blushes/goes red”? I feel as if it’s once pr. page on average. Really? Could this be anymore boring or unrealistic?

  • Alani

    Ok let me start by saying i’m on book 3 and i almost want a refund. I’m just bored. There are some aspects of these books that have potential but then she goes and screws it up by throwing in yet another sex scene, which after the third one, they all sound the same. Anastasia constantly describes how “hot” Christian is, then she flushes or bites her lip. Christian is always running his hands through his untamed hair, “exasperated” or “wide-eyed”. Everytime i thought we were really going to get some serious plot going, here we go with another “Oh my”, really like who the flip says that? And how is it that Anastasia is supposed to be a bookworm, but i don’t ever recall her sitting down to read a damn thing. I like the idea of Christian’s past and how he’s trying to overcome his demons but the author didn’t dig deep enough for me with the plot. Their relationship doesn’t seem to be based on anything other than sex, yet we’re supposed to believe they’ve connected on some deep level and somehow Christian is suddenly cured because Ana is just “Oh my..”

  • Veronica

    This is not a venus commerical no one talks to their inner goddess what is this? The endless holy shit and the whole come to my house for dinner by the way have you seen my sex room Best first date ever I think not. I found the plot needed to be a bit thicker and just when I started thinking Hey Plot its back to the sex scenes which I didn’t find arousing at all sometimes it nearly got there then Ana would start talking and the pirate sex sounds no thanks. Also is it just my husband and I but we laugh during fore play and sex its not so serious. Plus I found Mr Grey too stalkery. I read all 3 of them I would not be reading them again. I found the characters very similar to the Twilight ones, Last but not least if some rich guy wanted to buy me stuff I would be saying Thank you.

  • Kristen

    “Oh my”

    There. You just read the whole book. Seriously, I was so tempted to burn the whole book each time I came across that word.