• Thu, May 31 2012

Under What Circumstances Would You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend?

crystal harris hugh hefner

I’m thinking apocalyptic cirsumstances, right?

Like, okay, I have – surprisingly! – a few ex-boyfriends who I think would be great at keeping us alive in a post-apocalypse world. I mean that not necessarily in morally virtuous The Road sense – we’re not going to be keepers of the fire,  I would totally eat a person if it came to that – but in a “hoarding all the water and distributing it in exchange for goods and power” sense. I say that with full confidence that they’d find that flattering.

So, in a post-apocalyptic world there are some ex-boyfriends that I’d be very wiling to share a bombed out wreckage palace with. I mean, at that point, I think I’d just be happy that someone I loved was still alive. You have to imagine things got pretty bad. I’d spend a lot of time crying, probably, so I’d have to find some willing to put up with that.

I mean, I guess if it was really, really bad, like no people bad, you’d be willing to live even with a super-shitty ex, because otherwise you’d go all Wittgenstein’s Mistress.

Not that she does not have a charming narrative voice.

Oh, in other news, Hugh Hefner’s ex-fiance Crystal Harris moved back into the Playboy mansion. Huh.

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  • Cee

    What the WHAT? Didn’t she pawn her engagement ring, talk shit about his sexing and take a car? I would have laughed in her face when karma bit her saline loaded boobs hard and she needed to move back in!

    That said, I have a few exes who I ended sorta amicable with. But, I just feel they are exes for a reason..cheating, one not loving the other, we got tired of each other. There is a reason we cannot be around each other anymore that we had to say goodbye so why live with each other? Besides, a neurotic part of me would be wondering if they are secretly resentful about something and are rubbing their dirty underwear on my clothes and food or something seen on when chef’s attack while I’m at work.

  • Sabrina

    My ex boyfriend lives two blocks away. I did not know this before I moved into my apartment. Believe me, it is close enough.