• Fri, Jun 1 2012

Has Your Gynecologist Ever Commented On Your ‘Down There’ Hair?

Earlier this week I went to the gynecologist for my annual, as they call it. Although I have been going to this particular office for awhile, the gynecologist was someone whom I had never seen in the past. Normally I request a particular doctor, but realizing that it was time for my yearly “check-in,” and being told my favorite gyno was on vacation until July, I really had no choice. I understand that an annual doesn’t have to be to the day, but I also knew if I didn’t do it now, I’d forget.

Like any woman, the last thing I want to do is go to the gynecologist. Between the stirrups and the consistent “just spread you legs a little wider,” it’s pretty much a nightmare. So there I am, legs spread, a doctor between them and I’m asked a question that I’ve never been asked in such a situation: “Do you always wax?” I told her that yes, I do. I assumed what would follow would be a mini-lecture on how waxing isn’t so great for the skin and that you have hair “down there” for a reason, but no — she took it a wee bit further.

“You do realize that in not having hair you’re just perpetuating the porn industry’s idea that the infantilization of women is OK, yes?”

Come again?

I understood what she said, but was confused by the fact that she said it. I was there for an exam, not a history lesson on women’s pubic hair. I told her I realized that but I’m just not a fan of  body hair, and continued to stare at the ceiling. However, she was not done.

She proceeded to tell me that so many women come into the office, completely bald “down there” and they have no idea the history behind why they were doing it. Again, I gave her an affirmative “mhm” to signal that I understood what she was saying, but I just didn’t want to get into it at the moment. She finished the rest of the exam without a word, and I scurried out of there mildly ashamed of my “bald” status.

My decision on my pubic hair is my own. I do not wax for a man’s approval, but because, as I told the doctor, I truly don’t like body hair. I’m very light-skinned, and what minimal body hair I do have is barely noticeable, so that patch of hair on my pubic bone has always, since the day it started growing in, annoyed me. I was shaving it off long before I even knew that waxing existed for that area of your body, let alone that some men (and the porn industry) found it appealing.

Although I appreciate what the doctor said, the more I thought about it, the angrier I became. Who was she to dictate my pubic hair preference? Why was this even brought up? She had more hair on her upper lip than I had on my entire  body — did this mean we should all grow a mustache?

I called my mother, as I always do about everything under the sun, and she told me to let it go. But I do not let things go — I analyze them compulsively to death, and allow them to keep me up at night. Granted, last night I slept quite soundly thanks to some bourbon, but had it not been for that, I probably would have obsessively gone over all the things I could have said in defense of my missing pubic hair. And despite what my mother said, I clearly have not “let it go,” as I’m still addressing it!

Am I alone, or has someone else’s gynecologist commented on their pubic hair? And more importantly, do they even have a right to do so?

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  • Fabel

    No, they do NOT have a right to comment on the appearance of anything down there (unless, obviously, it’s a health issue) This doctor was completely unprofessional, & I kind of think she should be reported? Lecturing you about pubic hair isn’t as glaringly offensive as say, commenting on the number of your sexual partners, or trying to sell you a labiaplasty (which has apparently happened: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health/ask-a-health-expert/the-patient-navigator/my-gynecologist-pushed-cosmetic-surgery-on-me/article2249392/) but it’s still way out of line.

  • Maria

    Find a new gynecologist ASAP! Each time before I go there I convince myself that gynecologists do not have the ability to PERCEIVE public hair, if that makes any sense. Like how the waxing ladies dont’ ACTUALLY see my genitals, right? So far, denial is working well for me. Your doctor is destroying that illusion. Also, she’s being very very very unprofessional.

  • Brianna

    I think the only thing they have a right to say about your pubic hair, or lack thereof, is the health risks associated with waxing, just like they do with smoking, drinking, tanning and anything else that could potentially be harmful to you. Her history lesson was completely inappropriate, especially with your legs spread on an examination table.

  • Eileen

    Nope. But then, my pubic hair is more or less natural and therefore exactly what she saw in medical texts.

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a doctor’s commenting on the health risks of waxing, especially full-on bare waxing. I wouldn’t harp on a doctor who lectures patients about not wearing sunscreen, smoking cigarettes, forgetting condoms, etc. And I certainly would think any gynecologist who mentions the downsides of ANY gynecology-related treatments (from birth control pills to labiaplasty) is just doing her job. But the aesthetic isn’t her business at all.

  • Aj

    That was just hella inappropriate and unprofessional and you should report her. Like you said, no women enjoys the gyno and most feel awkward and uncomfortable enough without feeling judged about their morals. I’m mad for you. That shit’s ridiculous.

  • Nicole

    That was entirely offensive, inappropriate, and should be reported. To be extreme, it could be taken as sexual harassment. Sheesh! My Dr has never said a word about my hair and she’s seen it natural, bald and in between.

  • Maggie

    That is weird and gross, and like all the other commenters have said, totally unprofessional. She shouldn’t be making comments like that unless it directly relates to your health! If it had been a male doctor, there probably would be no hesitation about reporting him. If you don’t feel comfortable reporting her, maybe give your regular gyno a call when she gets back and let her know what the other doctor said. You can’t be the only patient she’s seen who’s bare down there, so it’s likely she’s saying that to others too.

  • Lindsay

    I would report her. Maybe even go the extra mile to try to get her fired. I think it is wildly inappropriate for any doctor to make an essentially judge-y comment to you. I would feel so violated and ANGRY. I’m sorry that happened to you.

    • yiraf

      WTF?? how is this vengeful resentment good for anybody?? let it go! jesus christmas. i once went to get plan b at my SCHOOL and the doctor said “you DO realize plan b is not birth control right?” in the judgiest way possible. i laughed it off got my plan b and got outta there. then i told a couple my friends and we had a good laugh. end of story. lighten up woman!

    • Fabel

      But there are standards for how a doctor should behave towards their patients. It’s not petty revenge to report them– there’s just no other way to make sure standards are being complied with.

    • Lindsay

      Live how you want to live, but I wouldn’t take what was said to either you or Amanda lightly. How many other woman have these doctors made to feel uncomfortable in such a vulnerable situation? I’ll be the first to admit that certain things strike a nerve and I can become vengeful, however, I do not believe I am out of line on this one. No doctor (or anyone) should make you feel like less of person.

  • Elizabeth

    My mother once went to a new gynecologist back in the 70s, and she gets in the stirrups and he sits down and says, “Oh, what pretty red hair.” But she was wearing one of those big puffy opaque paper shower caps people used to have to wear for exams.

    Afterwards, he asked her out. She said no and went back to her old gynecologist.

    • MM

      That’s creepy. No wonder women prefer to see lady doctors for their lady business

    • Sylvia

      Whoa. That is f-in scary. And not within scope of ethical practice. The Dr was lucky that time

  • RM

    I would call and complain. Totally out of line. I once had a NP at Planned Parenthood comment on my bra and underwear. (“Wow, my husband would love it if I wore something like that!”) At the time I just laughed it off, but after the fact I thought it was really inappropriate.

  • Pancua

    You are nicer than I am, I would have stopped the exam immediately and asked for another Doctor to come in or left with a message to have my Dr call me when they got back from holiday

    There are some things I simply will not tolerate and this is one of them.

    • L

      exactly. that is completely unacceptable and unprofessional. who the fuck does that bitch think she is?! and no, this has never happened to me.

    • Amanda Chatel

      I’m far from nice… I think I was just really stunned. And when you’re in that position physically, it’s hard to come up with an appropriate response!

  • Goldie

    “Sorry, but my girlfriend really loves it this way”

    “But my agent said it’s necessary if I want to get any call-backs”

    “My strap-on gives me a rug burn if I don’t wax”

    “Can we schedule another appointment to discuss feminist theory? While you’re in my vagina I’d like to limit the topics to my health.”

    “My boyfriend won’t change my diaper if there’s hair. You want me sitting in my own shit all day?”

    • Amanda Chatel

      Next time, Goldie, I’m draggin’ you with me.

    • Jennifer Wright

      “My boyfriend won’t change my diaper if there’s hair. You want me sitting in my own shit all day?”

      I am using this forever, its mine now, thank you.

    • Audrey

      You are my new favorite person.

  • MM

    I’ve NEVER had a comment from a doctor whether I’ve had a wax or a full bush. Even my wax lady doesn’t pass judgment over me.

    BTW, I don’t think it’s wrong if she was talking about the health risks as some other people mentioned, but that’s clearly not her issue.

  • S.P.

    She’s right. Also, we should all grow mustaches.

    • Amanda Chatel

      I started working on my mustache this morning!

  • Cee

    Damn! What a jerk!

    I always feel like I have to apologize for the hair situation down there. I don’t know why.

    “I’m sorry I shaved” “I’m sorry I didn’t shave” “I’m sorry I did not come here immediately after a shower”

    • Sarah!

      Seriously. It’s a lose-lose.

  • Tania

    Wow, that is incredibly inappropriate, and I agree with the people who say you should report her. She’s there for your health, not to act as a feminist advisor/judge (which, in itself, isn’t very feminist to judge what a woman prefers to do with her own body hair).

  • Sarah!

    I once had a gynecologist tell me I had a “very pretty vagina” and that some girls who shave “get lots of bumps down there.” But mine was looking a-ok.
    It was extremely uncomfortable. Lots of people are saying you should have stopped right there but first of all I was so shocked that I just kind of lay there with my mouth open? Also you’re not wearing pants, which makes it kinda hard to storm off.
    However, I specifically requested to never see here again.

    SIDEBAR: She also slut-shamed me for the number of people I’d slept with during the same appointment.

    • Amanda Chatel

      A “pretty vagina?!” The only time I’ve been told that is when I’m mid-coitus with a fella and even then, I’m like “shut the fuck up.”

      I think our gynecologists should get lunch together.

    • Sarah!

      Dude it was probably in my top five of things I don’t want to hear from my gynecologist.

    • Amanda Chatel

      Hey Sarah…

      You have a pretty vagina.

      Please read that in hushed, creepy tone.

    • Sylvia

      How are you offended by that? The first time you get an infection from shaving, or a disease from the however many people you slept with, the Gyn will be the one taking care of it. Doctors are supposed to encourage good health practices, not just clean up after your mess

  • Marissa

    OH MY GOSH! YES! This happened to me back in 2004 at the student health clinic when I went in for my routine exam. I didn’t get a feminist lecture, but she asked me straight out, “why do you shave down there?” I couldn’t believe it then, and I definitely can’t now because according to my gynecologist bff this sort of things goes in trends, so obviously I’m not her first patient to do this.

    You’re right. You don’t know what to say! I stuttered that it was for swimsuit season, even though it was September. She briskly told me that I could put my swimsuit away now, and let things grow out. I really don’t get it either because it makes their job much easier if they don’t have to deal with it!

  • BeccaTheCyborg

    Unprofessional as hell. I’d say complaining would be worthwhile. Especially for anyone else who has to deal with her.

    Also, anyone who think a waxed/shaved vulva looks like a child’s doesn’t know what vulvas look like, or the changes puberty does to the whole thing. Not knowing how cunts work and look is not a quality I look for in my gynecologist.

    Since moving to a bigger, more theoretically modern city, I’ve gotten more weird reactions to my genital piercings than I ever did in my small redneck town.

  • Jaclyn

    Definitely unacceptable. You should call and complain. That is ridiculously unprofessional. She’s not there to assess your sexuality!

  • Alexis Jenner

    When I was a teenager, my mother took my sister and me to the gynecologist. His comment was, “it appears that you and your sister go to the same barber” he then proceeded to ask me if I was a virgin. I said yes, and he replied with “well I will be the judge of that.”

    • Naomi

      HOLY. SHIT. I hope you told your mom.

    • Heather

      That is awful! Terrible bedside manner and inappropriate.

    • Amanda Chatel

      That’s so vile! And yeah, I totally hope you told your mom. What a dick!

    • wow

      I hope he eventually lost his job for a comment like that.

  • Sabrina

    What. the. fuck. Your doctor is not allowed to talk about the way you prefer your body hair. Or, let me rephrase, not allowed to lecture you. Conversations between doctors and patients should be about medical issues, or lifestyle choices the patient wants to talk about. I would complain and never return to that office again. That is absolutely crossing the line.

  • Naomi

    I would’ve told her off and informed her that it’s not her place to pass judgment on my grooming habits, much less vocally shame me for them.

    It reminds me of a time that I visited a new gyno who I promptly “fired” the same day. She was extremely friendly and conversational in tone and while she was asking me about my sexual history and current situation, I disclosed that I am bisexual and so is my male partner, but we’re completely monogamous.

    She got a look on her face like she was ready to vomit and once she regained the power of speech, she proceeded to ask me how many men he’s slept with, how many of them casually, how frequently he’d used protection, and when the last time he was tested for STDs was.

    I bristled and told her that his last relationship before me was with a man, monogamous, and was for SEVEN YEARS. He also got tested for the hell of it as part of a general check up right before we started dating and came up clean.

    She proceeded to urge me to make him get tested again and start using condoms in addition to my current Pill because “a male bisexual probably doesn’t truly exist and if he DID, there’s no way he’s actually monogamous.” Following that was a head-shaking parade of “both of you are terminal disease cases waiting to happen” judgments.

    I balled up the intake form I’d filled out, tossed it into her wastebasket, and politely told her to screw herself with her speculum.

    • Hot mama

      There’s a reason she said that. Hooray for trusting your boyfriend, but you must have no idea how many people wind up with STD’s in a “trusting relationship.” I’m guessing you were saying those things for shock value, or maybe just for a laugh. Sexual history generally means, are you monogamous, not your life story. Ever consider how many times she’s heard that history? Speaking from experience here

  • carrie weber

    not the gyno but once at the nephrologists office(first visit) the doc who had to be at least 60 yrs old. looked at me and asked me if the rugs matched the curtians!

    I sat there dumbfounded for a second… I answered best I could… embarrassed. telling him it was the same color as my eyebrows!

  • ehsnookie

    OH boy, that is pretty lame of her! My gyno (she was actually a Nurse practisionare filling in) years ago judge me because I was dating an Arab boy . So, I am jewish and so was she. AFTER she got over the shock of me dating someone who is considered an enemy, she proceeding to say, ” Do you REALLY want “little mohamaad” running around one day??”" I WAS FLOORED! I walked out of that office and never saw her again.

    • anon

      i’m not a woman, but I think I would have floored her before walking out!!!

  • Lori M.

    Sooooooo none of her business. I would complain to the office. Doctors are usually partners so her co-partners would like to know she’s shaming patients into never going to another annual again!

    • Heather Yesko

      I concur.

  • Susan

    Why did her comments bother you? It was true what she said. My son was telling me that it used to be only prostitutes that shaved their nether regions when they had an infection. Then men would know which women had been infected and not to go to them. The clean ones didn’t shave. If you want to look like a little three year old keep it shaved. Men who have seen pron love it shaved. Morality in this country has gone down hill and this is one of the signs. I see nothing wrong with a trim or wearing it the way you want to. But it is the truth ladies. Don’t get mad at the doctor for telling you the truth. It’s also a protective covering as well. There are health reasons for it being there.

    • Heather Yesko

      Oh shut up. I’ll leave it at that…

    • patricia

      HELLO! You do know what year this is, NOT the dark ages!!!!

    • Amanda Chatel

      I’m sorry, but I’m mildly confused did you actually just say that “morality in this country has gone down hill and this is one of the signs?” A waxed vagina is a sign of this?

      All I have to say is: WOW.
      And, I might add, I have an aching need to get a Brazilian wax this very moment thanks to your comment… however, I have to wait a couple weeks. Damn it!

    • Tobi

      I call troll on this one!

    • Harold

      Are you out of your mind? That’s not true. My wive is shaved in her nether region and doesn’t look like a little three year old. Shaving is a personal de desicion and it doesn’t have any relation with morality. Some people shave, some people don’t.

    • Sonsy

      “a protective covering”?. Yes, next time I get kneed in the pubis I will be in so much more pain without my protective covering.

    • Caylee

      Can we all just back up to the fact that our girl Suz’ discusses women’s pubic hair with her son?

    • Amanda Chatel

      Good point, Caylee! I’m not sure how we didn’t address that part before.

      Gotta run… I need to talk about my pubic hair with my dad now.

    • Ally

      If you were to shave your big ol’ forest today madam, you will NOT appear younger by an means – sorry to disappoint you. The difference between the appearance of a small child and that of a grown woman have A LOT more complications than just public hair. Heck some of us never grew body hair. I AM NOT A WOMAN YOU GUYS BECAUSE I NEVER GREW A BUSH. :((((

    • Jade

      Ally is so right, there is a bigger difference between a child and a woman’s body that pubic hair!
      WHO CARES if you’ve got a bush or not, some people really need to get a grip.

  • Stephanie

    One Gyno told me pubic hair isn’t necessary because we don’t live in the woods like cavemen…Rings true to me.

    Although, when I was getting an IUD, the new Gyno said “Whoa! You have a HUGE cervix! Has anyone ever told you that?” I’m trying to figure out if it was a backhanded complement.

    So the question now is, Has anyone commented on your cervix lately?

    • Heather

      I’ve been told I have a “nice cervix.” Not exactly sure what that means. Another friend of mine was told she has nice childbearing hips. She was in first year university at the time.

  • J_dub

    As a female intern physician, when doing pelvics I consciously limit myself to: “everything looks normal and healthy”(when appropriate) as the only adjectives, and try to not chat too much while doing the exam as you never know how words will come out strange and awkward given the context. I still hate going for them myself but I’d like to think the vast majority of practitioners aren’t passing these kinds of crazy judgements on pubic hair or genital appearances. It’s a shame the porn industry has created this idea of what women’s genitals look like – most are not like that, and within the range of morphologies – of which 99.99% are normal and healthy btw – that do exist I we’re all a lot more alike than we might realize.

  • Kate Griffiths

    I am a big fan of going au naturel down there. Also, I think it sucks that so many women feel like they OUGHT to shave their pubic hair because that’s the look that’s been propogated by the porn industry.

    However! Not shaving is MY PERSONAL CHOICE. Just as shaving is YOUR PERSONAL CHOICE. Bringing politics into the doctor’s office in order to shame a patient’s personal choices is a revolting abuse of power, and you should report that doctor to Pluto and back.

    Please, continue to rock your pubic hair, or lack thereof, in whatever way pleases you best. It’s not an issue that belongs between you and the doctor, or between you and the porn industry. It’s an issue that belongs to you and nobody else. Fuck that doctor, lady.

  • Ally

    Amanda, you should be ashamed of yourself. You are the cause of this widespread acceptance of the infantilization of women because until now, it seems you went around spreading such pussy shaving and waxing propaganda. Look at what you’re doing to the state of our society.

    Anyway, after reading this (and some of the stories in the comments) I want to sob at how uncomfortable some people are. I get if you don’t like certain things but going bare down there is by no means a new concept, an uncommon one, or something that is even seen as bizarre by people in our society (or so I thought, but your gyno seems to belong to her own special club). I hope you find a better gynecologist! I almost wish I could flash this woman and tell her the lack of hair is not due to infantilization of anything, but due to my limited amount of body hair in general (except for my arms – I have bear arms). Although maybe the lack of hair means I will never be a woman! Oh the internal conflict this is causing me!

    • Naomi

      Ally, you TOTALLY have the right to bear arms. :)

  • mm

    I will never, ever forget the last day I ever let my mom in to a physical with the pediatrician. I was 12, and I guess that’s when they start assessing your puberty progress. The effing doctor pulled my pants down and proclaimed for the world (and my mother) to hear that I was starting to get pubic hair. I’m pretty sure her exact words were, “oh, you’re starting to grow a little pubic hair.” I was so mortified that I started crying on the way home, and have been either shaving or waxing for the 9 years since. Doctors of any sort shouldn’t comment on that shit. I was super insecure at the time, because I hit puberty young – got my period before a lot of people, grew C boobs at 13, etc., and it was not pleasant. Your gyno is a rude person and you should definitely request anyone but her next time you go. Obviously my story is sort of silly, and looking back on it I would think as mother that’s actually probably kind of cute in a “my baby is growing up” sort of way…but really. In my case it wasn’t that bad and I was overly sensitive. In your case, you’re an adult and she was totally out of line.

  • Jill P

    It’s inappropriate to be judged in such a vulnerable position (caught with your pants down you might say) but I understand her frustration with trying to get her point across.

    With everything in life, we should try to be aware of WHY we do it. And shaving dates back to a Harper Bazaar’s fashion marketing campaign and has been turned into what our culture desires.

    It’s not fair you were judged, I would be infuriated too.
    However, I do hope this opportunity lead you to research where the trend came from.

    • Tania

      Excuse me, but what? She said she knows its history. Right up there in the story, if you read it and didn’t just skim it.

      However, the reason *she* does it, she stated quite clearly, is because she has a *personal preference* to not have body hair.

      And honestly, who cares where the trend comes from? Like, really? It feels better without hair, in my opinion. It’s not about appearance, or satisfying male lust, or whatever. It’s because I like it.

      Making the assumption that people are only doing it because of porn is being deliberately ignorant of the fact that not everyone is an unthinking trend follower.

  • A different Jade…

    I prefer a bush on mine actually not even really prefer I’m just lazy in the upkeep…but I do shave once a month because any girl with hair knows how gross it can get in her period so I like to be clean…

    I would’ve sat up and said excuse me?
    I once went off at a bus driver for telling me to hurry up…I said excuse me? You don’t need to be rude!
    He started to say something and I said no! Don’t be rude!

    I know people can get flustered but you need to to say something…she has the balls to confront you so grab her by the balls and tell her to shut the fuck up!

  • Miss Eugenia

    I think the following article will keep you up at night…. But in a good way because it contextualizes pubic hair removal. Some doctors are actually interested in this phenomenon.

    http://www.depiliacija.eu/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/herbenick-et-al-2010.pdf

  • Jessica

    My gyno once commented that I had an “unusually small” vagina. What do you say to that? Is that a compliment, a problem? It was the most awkward appointment of my life.
    I understand that they may notice differences in women, but I find it highly unnecessary and inappropriate to make comments that have no merit. I mean, if you’re going to say something at least let there be a reason behind it other than to simply make a remark. Honestly, I wish they would just do what they need to do as quickly as possible without any awkward small talk or comments.

    • anon

      i’m a perv and a guy with a small dick so you sound like my perfect life partner. wanna meet?

  • Laura

    I agree, you need to report that to your states college of physicians. You may be strong enough to deal with that kind of criticism but not all women are and I highly doubt that’s the only thing she gets on her high horse about!

  • gabby

    Im naturaly bare down there,all my friends say Im lucky.

  • Amanda

    The doc who did my first pelvic exam when I was pregnant with my son got down there and was just going about her business when suddenly she said, “Your hair down here is the same color as my daughter’s hair on her head”.

    Inappropriate? Maybe.

    Hilarious? Definitely.

    Lighten up people. Shave, wax, pluck or or grow a bush the shape of Texas…why do you care what someone you had never met before and probably never will again says? (I am assuming you won’t see her again.)

  • nicole

    One time, I was getting my yearly and the gyno – out of nowhere – just said “do you have an Aunt Rachel that comes here?” and I was like “um, yes, I think so.” He then proceeded to tell me that we “looked alike.” OUR FACES LOOK NOTHING ALIKE! She isn’t even blood, she married my uncle. He meant that we had similar vaginas. How weird is that?

  • travis

    it sounds like you got offended because your gyn was talking about vagyn.
    Seems like she was trying to inform you about the trend you are participating in, because she probably believes that in the long run your participation is detrimental to you. Of course you believe that youve made a choice, and its just a total coincidence that everyone else is doing the exact same thing.

    Now, if it had been a trip to the dentist, you would have a point.

  • Lilly

    Jeez,I thought I was doing my obgyn a favor having my pubic hair removed before I come in?!! I think if I was an obgyn I would prefer women who wax before coming. Isn’t that nicer for them to see and work with? Without all that hair? Who knew!
    That said, I do mind that all magazines picture women who look like girls down there!

  • AnnH

    I actually knew a gynecologist who told me the exact other thing. I am not one for shaving/waxing down there, and I’m certainly not doing it for an appointment with a man I am going to see 20min, tops. Plus, I’ve decided that he has to see much worse with other patients (like very old or morbidly obese women, who probably don’t or can’t go au naturel). I’ll pass on his disgusted face during the exam, but I actually had a full lecture about how it’s not very respectful for him. I’m sorry, what ? The decisions I make for my body don’t respect your work ? I was so glad not to be there for lifechanging decisions. It was our first and last appointment.
    …What a schizophrenic world.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001122315354 Natalie McCully

      Yet you just shamed obese and old women for the same exact thing. How amusing.

  • Katy

    I can get the gyno’s frustration (and your feelings on your hair is very likely not uninfluenced by society), but it was way inappropriate of her to comment on it.

  • Kelly

    I had just started dating my husband, and went in for my annual. She told me I shaved like a pro.

  • SuperPsychicSpyChick

    The doctor’s comment was based on her own (BIASED) personal beliefs and THAT was inappropriate. She should only give you and feedback based on hygeine and any health-related matter she can see that you can’t.

    I’ve had doctors actually compliment me on how I keep it (male and female lol). My philosophy: trim it or get rid of it!!! Bush is not only gross, but extremely unhygenic (your DOCTOR OF ALL PEOPLE should know that!), as it gives bacteria a place to hide, not to mention rancid skin oils, body soil, it increases your likelihood to catch crabs (no pubic hair=no pubic lice=no brainer!) last but not least: ungroomed pubes will ALWAYS shed. If someone sees you leave a shed pube behind in the bathroom or whatever, like it or not, you have just given them a visual idea of what your private area looks like…it’s almost as if you just showed them your genitals whether you want them to see it or not. Believe me, I had a job where I would clean people’s houses, I “saw” more twat puffs & ball fros than I ever wanted to in my life from people I’d rather not see naked lol.

    And no your doctor is wrong, I keep my nethers in order NOT because porn tells me to, NOT because I have pedophiliac fantasies and it’s certainly NOT to please another man! I do it for myself. Besides it making sex feeling sooooooooooo much better, it just feels great to have clothes/sheets brush up against my clean, soft skin, as opposed to *snagggg*, *scraaaaaaaattttccchhhh* Your doctor’s bias blinded her from those other possibilities (and it caused her to miss the boat about hygiene, for a doctor that’s triple bad!)

    • Steveo of Sydney

      you’ve had both male and female doctors compliment you on the state of your bush? Hard to believe that isn’t fantasy. If so are they not as inappropriate as the doc in the story? And a lot of that bacteria is good bacteria and as for the crabs and other hideous goings on down there…. well, be faithful with one partner and you’ll be fine. Stop trying to rationalise your choices

    • Name2

      From your description of pubic hair, I firmly believe you’re making stupid crap up. Hardly a word of that was indicative of what it’s like to live with pubic hair. It’s ridiculous. Perhaps you should review your own biased personal believes and not insult every natural woman reading right now.

  • koolchicken

    Wow! Sounds like someone needs to be reported. Unless she’s concerned the state of your pubic hair is potentially damaging to physical or mental health it’s beyond inappropriate to lecture you on it.

  • Sara Stanton

    When I was an 18 yr old virgin going to the gyno it wast teaching environment and the young man who was being taught said “oh so you are a natural red head!” Yeah, that was fun!

  • max

    this was unprofessional of the doctor and an exception. nothing wrong with waxing shaving and the porn industry comment is bs. yes most men like their women shaved. Its the trend these days for both men and women and those that do it like it and are comfortable throughout the day. people have questioned men doing it saying they look like nine year olds. but the reality is that hair or lack of it does not make you more or less of a woman or man this is all superficial crap. What matters is your own confidence in yourself.

  • Steveo of Sydney

    “she had more hair on her upper lip than”- oooouch – nasty!

    She may be awkward socially and a little inappropriate but good for her if she’s courageous enough to bring up a subject she feels strongly about. And she is probably correct that the practice is based on porn images despite your protestations that a pubescent you, just out of the blue, felt pubic hair was yukky

  • Zoe

    I know this article is a bit old now, but the topic is still relevant, and I just couldn’t resist adding my two cents!
    The only time pubic hair removal is ‘perpetuating the porn industry’s idea that the infantilization of women’ is when a porn actress is instructed to remove her hair to film a teen scene…
    And pubic hair removal has been around in lots of different isolated cultures since … Well I don’t know, but I’ll estimate thousands of years prior to any real porn industry!

    Personally, I trim my bush because I find myself toying with the hair out of boredom, and don’t enjoy pubes between my teeth when recreating with others, so attempt to prevent that for them.

    I don’t know if you’ve taken any action on this with that particular gyno, but perhaps if you drop a note off in a few months when it’s time for your next annual?
    I’m sure she was speaking with good intentions, but may not have realised that the effect of her words was to marginalise and pidgeon hold those who do choose to remove…

    You might also suggest to her Laci Green’s youtube channel ‘Sex+’ (sex positive) which discusses pube-removal several times!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Deanna-Jackson/617808744 Deanna Jackson

    It’s none of your doctor’s business whether you shave or not. Also, if she doesn’t like porn, nobody is forcing her to watch it and it’s no reason for her to patronize to you about your pubic hair or lack of it.

  • Barbara Gwen

    I trim (I LOATHE waxing a shaving. My skin down there is just way too sensitive, and all the anti-bump creams in the world can’t help me), but sometimes I like to get creative with it. One time I got super zealous mowed it into a face (what can I say, I’m talented lol), but I completely forgot that I had a gyno appointment the next day. As soon as my doctor saw the face, she blurted out “What. the. fuck.” I cracked up, and she instantly apologized for what she called an “unprofessional reaction”. but all in all, I think it brought us closer together.

  • http://www.facebook.com/MatthewMcVeagh Matthew McVeagh

    Between this and Jamie’s post in the last day about male gynos ogling their clients I’m so frigging glad I’m not a woman and don’t have to go to a gynecologist – Goldie’s fabulous responses notwithstanding.

  • CSB

    Leaving aside that fact that how you have your pubic hair is none of her business, in what way are you “perpetuating the porn industry’s idea that the infantilization of women is OK”? Does she think you are publicising the state of your pelvic area?

    She is certainly perpetuating the idea that some members of the medical profession are high-handed enough to make such ridiculous remarks.

    To answer your last point – NO, she does not have the right to say such things.
    Read more: http://www.thegloss.com/2012/06/01/beauty/has-your-gynecologist-ever-commented-on-your-down-there-hair-297/#ixzz2MygKxh6I

  • Jessica

    That Is Really Rude, Your Body & Vagina Is Your To Do What The Hell You Want To Do With It. I Would Have Said But I Don’t Sleep With More Then One Man Or Women At Once & Do Not Record It And Put It Onto A DVD & Sell It Or Broadcast It To Every Tom, Dick & Harry. I really Cant Believe How Rude She Was. Personally I Would Make A Complaint & Say She Made You Feel Really Uncomfortable & You Shouldn’t Be Intimidated That Way. x

  • CynicalGal

    That is really unprofessional of your gynecologist. These are very personal questions that she should not be asking. You should write to her and complain about how much she embarrassed you, and also she may embarrass a lot more women. It is your business, not hers.

  • Ariana

    “so many women come into the office, completely bald “down there” and they have no idea the history behind why they were doing it”

    women and men have been shaving their pubic hair for millenia. it aids in maintining hygiene. especially in very hot and humid areas of the world where you can even get fungus on your pubic region from the moisture.
    muslims are even required by their religion to shave down there regularly.

    i.e. your (prudish) doctor is full of crap.

  • megan

    I went to the gyno today. I have a cyst. My gyno took her personal cell phone out and attempted to take a picture of my “cyst” so i could see it! This is all very odd. The picture never happened, because she was wearing the gloves from the exam and the touch screen wouldn’t work through the latex gloves. Needless to say I’m shocked! For so many reasons. Ive been with this gyno for 10 years she’s delievered 2 out of 3 of my kids. But even so.. Cell phone snapshots of someones privates just seemed wrong!

  • joey

    I agree with the gyno. The shave trend started with porn. This obession with looking like a prepubesent little child is rather creepy. A complete turn off.