Dating Hijinks: The Guy Who Sent Me A Photo Of His ‘Manly Bits’ From The Bathroom

On Wednesdays, Amanda Chatel will be sharing stories about her strange, fascinating and sometimes wonderful dating life. If it makes you want to date, check out TheGloss dating page.

I’m not into sexting. It’s just not my thing. Dirty texting with words, I’m a huge fan; but the chances of me sexting a photo of my vag or boobs, well, there are no chances. It will never happen. I have friends who think it’s all the rage, and I’ve been subjected to these back and forth photos between them and their fella du jour, but with my luck I will lose my phone the same day I send my first nude photo and then some stranger will get an eyeful of my luscious bod. I’m joking, of course — about the luscious part.

I was on my second date with T. Our first date had gone pretty well, so I was excited as to how our second date would go. He lives in Williamsburg, so I headed out that way to meet him at one of my favorite places in that neighborhood, The Rabbithole. We had a couple glasses of wine, some great food, and everything was going swimmingly. By the third glass of wine, I thought I could love him as wine has a tendency of confusing me — as do fellas with beards who wear Sperrys and cross their legs properly. I also decided that before the night was over, I would be having sex with him. It may not have been the traditional third date that we’re supposed to stick to, but as I already stated, I decided I was falling in love.

So while I’m planning our future together in my head, he got up to go to the bathroom. I felt my phone vibrate, and since he had left the table, I didn’t feel rude checking it. When I saw it was from him I thought of two possible scenarios: 1. he decided this date was a bust, but was kind enough to text me on his way home, or 2. he missed me even though he had only been away from the table for less than five minutes. However, it was neither of those. Instead, it was a picture of his cock and balls in his hand. It was not a photo of him peeing, mind you, but him holding his manly bits and posing them for the photo. I was unsure how to respond. Do I text him back, thanking him for the picture? Was I supposed to compliment him on it? I was confused.

When he came out of the bathroom, he asked me if I had received the photo. I told him I had. He then proceeded to tell me that he was going to “plow me with it later.” Had we been on more than two dates, I could have easily responded to this comment. I have very sick and dirty thoughts going through my head at all times, but I was unable to convey them at that moment.

“Now it’s your turn,” he said.

“My turn for what?” I asked.

“Go to the bathroom and take a photo of your pussy so I know what I’ll be plowing later.”

“No, thank you.”

“Why? I thought you were open-minded and freaky?”

Yes, he said ‘freaky.’

“I’m very open-minded,” I explained, “I’m just not into taking photos of my kitchen (this is what my sister and I have been calling it forever), and passing it along to people.”

“I won’t show it to anyone,” he said.

“That’s fine. But again, no, thank you.”

It was after this that things went downhill pretty fast as he harped on how I was a prude (as if!), and how I wasn’t exactly the person he thought I was. Because, as we all know, after one and half dates you know someone so well, that you’re able to make such a statement.

When the check came, he paid for it although I tried to pay at least my half. He wouldn’t have it. We left the restaurant, and he told me he was tired and was going home. There would be no “plowing” that evening, but there would be several more cock shots over the next few hours as he proceeded to point out to me what I was missing. We went on a third date, but that was it. I’m starting to think maybe I should get on this whole sexting bandwagon if that’s what all the “cool” kids are doing. Maybe.

Are any of you avid “sexters?”

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    • Amy

      You went on a THIRD DATE with this guy?!

      • Amanda Chatel

        I wanted to give him a chance! Besides he was really, really hot. Sometimes I let the wrong parts of my body do the thinking for me… or rather “not thinking.”

    • Maggie

      I love the text part of sexting, but nudie pics always make me nervous! I’ve only sent them to my current boyfriend and take lots of precautions so my face is never EVER in the shot. I still feel like Big Brother, aka the cell phone companies, are going to be able to see it somehow though… yikes!

      Buddy was a jerk for calling you a prude, good for you for handling it so well! If I had been in that situation, boy would’ve had my glass of wine in his face and a curt invitation about where he can send his nasty dick pics.

    • Betty

      Yeah, I’m really confused about the whole third date thing. Makes zero sense to me.

    • Fabel

      Ahh, this reminds me of something I read, somewhere, about “negging.” In the example story (which was real, I think), the guy is on a date with somebody & keeps “playfully” daring her to go in the bathroom, take a picture of her ass, & send it to him. When she hesitates, he’s all like “Aw, I thought you were spontaneous! I thought you were fun! Guess you’re just a prude!” (and this is supposed to convince her to do it)

      Anyway! I actually LOVE sexting– but only with dudes I know well, like a long-term fuck buddy or boyfriend. I’d be really weirded out if that happened to me on a first date.

    • Amanda Ernst

      …and he kept texting you cock shots? kind of makes you wish for a text blocking app.

      • Amanda Chatel

        It sure does! Ah… I really do pick the “winners” in the crowd.

    • Sabrina

      My boyfriend and I sext pics back and forth… but I would never do it with someone I had only been on one date with. I have enough girlfriends who show me all the dick pics on their phone that I’m smart enough to know that if you’re not semi serious, other people will see your photos.

      That being said, my bf used to always just text “send a pic” and I knew what he meant by that. One day I got really sick of it though, so when I received “send a pic” I promptly took a picture of the tampon string hanging out of my vag and sent it to him. Needless to say, I don’t think I ever received “send a pic” again.

    • Megan

      I’ve sexted before, but only to those whom I’ve known or dated for a while. And I’ve received (never sent out) videos of men getting themselves off.

    • Stephanie

      Kitchen huh? I’ve always referred to it as my love cup.

    • holleeta

      Between your dating experiences and mine, I’m wondering if there are any decent guys left in this area.

      I love sexting but only with my on-again, off-again ex and also with this one woman. I trust them both and with my ex we get real filthy, which is just the way I like it.

      This dude seems like he was very pushy. “Plow” – how unimaginative! He sounds like a frat boy. BTW, how did you end up calling a pussy a “kitchen”?

    • Sam

      Oh my goodness…”freaky.” Just can’t stop focusing on the IRL use of a word that N*Sync once rhymed with “deeky” followed by “nasty nasty.”

      I only send semi-nude photos (and never with my face in ‘em!) to people I’m dating and only if we’re not going to see each other for a while. Mostly, I’m too lazy to pose and whatever.

      BTW SO STOKED FOR TOMORROW…can you tell by me responding to all yo articles and not sleeping?

    • MR

      Now if he had shown it to you in person? :)