Illustrated Guide: How To Ruin Your Boyfriend’s Relationships With His Friends

If there’s one thing ladymags have taught us, it’s that if you want to be a girlfriend–that’s just a wife without a ring!!–you need to get the approval of “the guys,” that nebulous crew of football-loving, beer-swilling, Halo-playing, Will Ferrell-quoting, broad-chested pals He has. The ladymag advice always amounts to, “memorize some kind of sports statistics” and “suppress yourself.” As much as possible. But we think there’s a more direct route to that ring. Why not just eliminate his friends altogether? Why not just make them disappear? Today’s Illustrated Guide will teach how to get rid of his friends and all their pesky influence.

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    • Holden

      I….. erm…… um.

    • Stephanie

      Sounds like a win-win to me really.

    • Cate

      This is by far my favorite illustrated guide.

    • MR

      Women who have backdoor men. I’ve been selected. Nothing I’m proud of though. Again these are the women who f*ck you at your place. Yeah, you got that right.

    • lucygoosey74

      Ha! The #4 illustration cracks me up, I have to keep looking at it. You guys really need to make a movie!

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Thank you!

    • Dicky

      And I thought the sweet spot was on a tennis racquet?

    • Raerae

      Bahahaha! I’m so in love with this. You’re awesome.