Water Fast: Day 3 (Will I Make It Until The End?)

Rock of Ages. Starring Tom Cruise? And Alec Baldwin? And Julianne Hough?

The question marks are meant to say - who was this movie made for? People who really love heavy metal, I guess, but also people who are very excited to see Tom Cruise shirtless cpping Catherine Zeta Jone’s breasts? Are they one and the same? Is that who goes to The Legend of Zorro?

I mean, I went to the Legend of Zorro, which is why I’m referncing it, but I spent the entire time trying to figure out who the director thought would be viewing Rock of Ages.

I guess he thought “people.”

He was right! There were people there. A smattering of them had mullets. There was also a teenage girl eating Raisinettes and popcorn who saw the Taco Bell commercial that they show before the movie with the tagline ‘FourthMeal Late Night Food” and loudly remarked “why would anyone want a fourth meal?”

It took all my composure, and frankly, my overwhelming desire to not be kicked out of the theater so I could see a long haired dancing Jack Donaghy, to stop from running over to her and exclaiming “you, Teenage Girl! You! You are mixing Raisinttes and popcorn right now! You are FourthMeal! That is you they are talking about! NOT ME! I LIVE ON WATER AND SUNLIGHT! LIKE A PLANT. LIKE A BEAUTIFUL ORCHID WHO THINKS.”

Like Audrey.

I think that might have been a sign that the fast was making me absolutely insane, but also, teenage girls in movie theaters are unbelievably annoying, so it could have been either one.

The movie was weird.

Is that a fair asssessment? Why don’t you go see it and we’ll talk about it.

I took the subway home, and I fell asleep around 5. I woke briefly to tell a friend I couldn’t go to a party. I went back to sleep. Then I woke up and watched Kramer and Kramer and thought about all the foods I could eat the next morning. When it was time to go to sleep it was nearly impossible, because I felt exactly the way you feel as a child on Christmas Eve.

Which, I suppose, was a really good part of this. If you want to realize how great basic aspects of your daily life are, rather than reading Our Town for the thousandth time, it’s worthwhile to give them up for a little bit. I’m not saying that everyone should do this with food, but, hell, maybe taking a week off drinking or desserts will make them seem way more magical when you come back to them. I’m pretty sure that tomorrow I’m going to really, sincerely appreciate food – and in the way, I can see why this is something that people do for legitimate religious reasons. It’s a reminder to be grateful.

Also – and I know this was kind of intended as a silly stunt – but I feel pretty proud of myself for making it through the entire three days. Of course, actually fasting isn’t something everyone should do, but it was good to realize that we can do things that may first strike us as impossible.

I mean, don’t start drinking poison because it seems impossible that you’ll live afterwards. Don’t do that.

I mean sane things. Things that test your willpower without killing you. And, hell, if I can do this, maybe I can run a marathon or pitch some more places I’d like to write for or check off a number of other goals? Why? Because I’m a beautiful goddamn flower. Like Audrey.


Rum Tum Tugger via FreeWebs

Audrey via Eclectric Dragonfly

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    • Sarah

      you are awesome!
      now go enjoy eating everything in sight!!

    • Tania

      It wasn’t sunshine and water that Audrey was living off of!

      The first cup of coffee after that must have been amazing.

    • Lindsay

      CONGRATS! How were those brussel sprouts? Or, did you just stick to the soup?

    • Miss C

      “Things that test your willpower without killing you.”

      In my non-humble/bordeline bitchy opinion, having NO willpower is killing people by the droves right now, for real, no fun or humour included – over-eating especially, as well as drinking too much, smoking, etc.

      Overweight & obesity are the fifth leading risk GLOBALLY for death: WHO Fact sheet N°311, May 2012

      Wow, bet I just made myself really popular there!

      But I’m saying it because of all the “pro ana” BS you got on #1, which is utter nonsense when we consider that the eating disorder most people die of is too much feckin’ FOOD.

      • kjon

        You are awesome.

      • Sabrina

        Yes. It feels like this is a taboo topic people aren’t allowed to talk about anymore for fear of offending those suffering from obesity. No, of course it’s not cool to insult people based on their weight, but um, hello, we have a pretty huge problem here and I know I’m not the only one who knows about it. Thank you for saying something!

      • Cate

        Hear fucking hear. I think this is not said nearly enough, especially with the rise of the body positive movement. I’m all for body positivity and I think that people of all shapes and sizes can be beautiful, but self esteem should not come at the expense of health.

    • Will

      In my opinion, like Audrey, you’re a beautiful goddamn flower.

    • MR

      What time did you break your fast on Sunday? The polls in Greece closed at 1pm our time. Let me guess. You drank a lot of water today? :)

      • MR

        PS. Come on, Bernanke may need a push today. I have a July 2nd growth target and may make it now. So please drink lots of water between now and then, okay? But don’t fast. :)

      • MR

        PS. PS. Damn, no QE3. I thought Bernanke would pull the trigger. Obama needed it. Market probably pulls back a little more today. I have this rate of return on investment target for the 12 month period technically ending June 30th I was shooting for, but I’m close so….we’ll see.

      • MR

        Yeah, real bummer today. Wiped out all of my past 7 days’ gain in one day. But is it over? It has zigged zagged in this 2 percent range before though since I’ve come back in again. I’ve been steely, but there’s no potential future draft carrying it back up this time.

      • MR

        Well Jennifer, so far it looks like I’m calling it. I was up 6.1% from June 4th when it topped. I cleared last Friday still up a little shy of 4.6%. But that 1.6% spread was worth another $13,000 in gains. Still I have nothing to complain about. Yeah, it’s difficult to call it exactly right. I can always go back in again when I see another upward trend trajectory. Things will be clearer this Thursday, Europe time.

      • MR

        Jennifer, this is the last time I’ll do this cause it’s a flashback of another time which actually started 2 years ago. That’s why June 30th/July 1st is my annual log date. I can cheat a day cause it hit Sat/Sun this year. Anyways I thought I had a shot at growing my percentage growth rate from the previous year (the first 12 month period) by 50 percent. I closed out up 48 percent yesterday. Again nothing to complain about. We watched live jazz outside til almost 8pm on Friday. You have to turn the phones off when you cross over the border. It was nice to see the day’s results when I went onto the internet that night. We’re heading back up again for one more day and night tonight.

    • Lauren

      Wow. This reminds me of how I felt when I did a juice cleanse. I feel like the water fast has to be harder, because I was getting nutrients, but they are way more similar than I originally thought they would be. It just sounded so impossible to survive 3 days with nothing but water without having any crazy side effects.

      The last day was the worst on my juice cleanse too, not because I was starving, but because I was just out of my mind bored. I did it on a Friday, Saturday Sunday as well. My first meal was scrambled eggs and I couldn’t finish them.

      Congrats on finishing and not passing out ever. I’m sorry you had to see Rock of Ages though.