Dating Hijinks: I Had A Threesome With Tattoo Guy And One Of My Friends (And It Was Pretty Great!)

This is how it could have gone down if it was not for Jamie's inspiration. However, it was the complete opposite of this.

On Wednesdays, Amanda Chatel will be sharing stories about her strange, fascinating and sometimes wonderful dating life. If it makes you want to date, check out TheGloss dating page.

Thanks to my esteemed colleague, Ms. Jamie Peck, I decided I’d give this whole threesome thing another whirl. I also was determined to have fun. Because, well, Jamie said they should be fun! And I like to believe that everything Jamie utters is absolute fact.

My gal pal (I loathe that phrase, but let’s go with it) E and I were wandering around the city last week. We had gone to see a show, had a bit too much to drink then ended up at my apartment — but not before getting pizza and introducing her to Tattoo Guy whom she had never met. E is the type of person who can talk to anyone, while I sort of hang back and scowl because my social skills don’t provide me with the ability to talk to people like a normal person. Outside the tattoo shop, she engaged Tattoo Guy and some equally shady dude with some friendly banter before we headed back to my place to briefly recoup before taking on the Lower East Side.

Immediately after we left the shop I got a text from Tattoo Guy expressing how hot E is and how we should have a threesome. I agreed that yes, E is pretty damn hot, but in no way was I going to jeopardize our friendship by sharing a penis. It just seemed weird. After refueling, we met up with Tattoo Guy to get some drinks at a bar a few blocks away, that also happens to be conveniently situated next to his apartment. My plan was to hang out with the three of them, put E in a cab back to Brooklyn, then go home and reap the benefits that come with having Tattoo Guy in my life. However, things did not got that way.

I explained to E, who (like our beloved Jamie) has more than a few threesomes under her belt, that my tattooed buddy was pushing for a threesome. We both laughed. I mean, come on! We’re ladies! We’re friends! We would not be doing any such thing! It didn’t matter how many texts or times Tattoo Guy pinched my leg under the bar! It wouldn’t be happening. But then we drank some more, and some more; and before I know it, I’m outside giving E a high-five as we agreed that we’d do it just this once. We shared the information with Tattoo Guy, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen a human being down a beer, pay a tab and gather up his belongings as fast as he did. Minutes later we were in his apartment, E and I were on the bed kissing and he went to take a shower. By the time, he joined us in the bedroom, we were already naked and ready to go.

And it was fun! It was so much fun! Not only was it because I knew both these people, trusted them, but they’re both fun people in general. E and I could laugh and ask each other what moisturizer we used and where we got our bras, while Tattoo Guy laughed at how girly we were being for inquiring about such things. And since the two of them had already been in more than one threesome before, I was content to be an actor, while they took turns directing. Did I mention it was so much fun?

I was finally able to relax, not feel tense, laugh and just go with it. I thought it would be strange to watch two people I know have sex, but it wasn’t at all. If anything it was hot and really interesting to be that up close and personal to something that I usually just see on the computer screen when I’m bored and trolling for porn.

We fucked around until the sun came up, then tried to sleep for a bit. It clearly wasn’t happening with three people in Tattoo Guy’s bed, so E and I left to sleep in my bed for a bit before she headed back to Brooklyn. Of course since then whenever I go out with Tattoo Guy he wants to know when we’re doing it again so he can “perform” better, as he felt his performance wasn’t up to par, but I keep telling him it was a one time thing.

“She and I high-fived on it, Tattoo Guy,” I keep explaining. “It’s a drunk gal’s pinky swear! It will not be happening again.”

So yeah, I did it and it was great. Although I do have both Tattoo Guy and E to thank, I also have Jamie to thank, too. So dear Jamie, when you get back from your travels, I’m buying you a vegan cupcake and a beer to show my gratitude.

 

Photo: Vulture

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    • Maggie

      Okay, I have to ask: did you feel jealous at all at any point? My boyfriend has been asking for a threesome for a while now, and I’d like to do it because 1)I’m a big fan of mixing it up in the boudoir and 2)I want to make my man happy. The only reservation I have about it is the jealousy factor, because I really don’t know if I could handle my guy being with another woman right in front of me (or at all). I know it’s “just sex” but still, I can’t get over that one aspect. Any advice?

      • Amanda Chatel

        To be honest, I wasn’t jealous. BUT I’m not emotionally attached to Tattoo Guy. If it had been Swede, it might have been a different story.

        I like to think that I’ve come to a point where I can say that sex is sex and love is love, and while they do overlap, if you’re honest and set up guidelines a threesome can work. We agreed that Tattoo Guy and “E” would never hang out or sleep with each other again. We agreed it was a one time thing for fun and considering how much I trust both parties, I felt that we could all stick to the promise to not be weird, let emotions fuck it up, or have it jeopardize our relationships with each other. As an EXTREMELY jealous person, I was actually surprised how un-jealous I was. I also realized that if he’s going to fuck another woman, I’d rather have it in front of me than behind my back — even if we’re in an open relationship situation.

        Does that make sense? I feel like I might be rambling.

      • Sam

        I’ve had a lot o’ threesomes in my day and I strongly (!!!) recommend you don’t have a threesome with a significant other. There are certainly couples who are capable of that, but if you have any concerns about it, chances are you should wait until you can have an unattached threesome with two people you don’t feel emotionally invested in, y’know? I’ve only had one threesome that involved a guy I had feelings for and I desperately regretted it, but every other one I’ve ever had has been non-jealousy inducing!

      • Maggie

        It makes perfect sense, Amanda! I appreciate the honesty Sam, nobody else I know who is in a relationship has had a threesome, so I’ve had a hard time getting an objective opinion and therefore not able to make a decision. Thanks so much, guys! :)

    • Jamie Peck

      I’m so proud of you! And glad you had fun, obvi. I will certainly collect on your offer when I get back.

    • Kj

      Dude, I can’t believe it but you’ve pretty much sold me on this. I opened this article ready to be like, “Oh Chatel…….”

      …and then ended up being like, yeah, that sounds kinda hot.

      Hmmn. >_>

      • Amanda Chatel

        I love that you call me “Chatel.” It makes me feel like we’re on a sports team!

    • Srini

      Funny story that happened a few years ago:

      The girl I was seeing (on and off) at the time gently expressed her desire to have a threesome (after we were talking about how one of my ex-girlfriends wanted to have a threesome and we never did for various reasons). So, she wanted me to see if my ex-girlfriend would be interested (they both have met each other a few times). My ex-girlfriend and I occasionally hook up to get ourselves submerged in random nights of passion (usually when we are not seeing other people). So I call my ex and said to her: “Remember, at one point we wanted to do a threesome? How about we do it tonight?” She was totally into it and said she would come over in an hour or so. She came a couple hours later and she bought a mutual friend of ours (this is who we had originally planned to have threesome with long back). It was a total confusion and after the ladies chatting about it for several minutes, we decided to do a foursome. I had no idea how this was all gonna turn out and was just going with the flow and seeing how things unfold. Turned out to be a BAD IDEA!! The foursome turned into a jealousy contest, primarily between the girl I was currently seeing and the mutual friend that my ex girlfriend brought along. I was just sitting naked and motionless on the bed watching 3 naked girls duke it out. Ended up having sex with my ex girlfriend that night and the girl I was seeing promptly broke up with me. Threesome that turned into a foursome that never was. I still think about it and laugh about it.

    • Mr. Anderson

      Sounds like a fun time!