• Sat, Jun 23 2012

10 Quotes From ‘Heathers’ That You Should Make Part Of Your Daily Conversations Starting Right Now

It’s an ongoing 80′s movie marathon over in these parts. For the second time in a week I’m watching Heathers; and for the second time in a week I’m overly impressed at the insanely brilliant dialogue in the movie. Before this week, it had been easily a decade since the last time I saw Heathers. It had been so long that now, as an adult, I finally understand so much of what had previously gone way over my head. It was like having an epiphany; a brilliant scrunchy-filled epiphany!

If you haven’t seen Heathers, your life is severely lacking. It’s fucked up, dark and definitely cringe-worthy in a few place where you actually can’t help but ask yourself: “Um, is that completely un-PC? Or is it that we’ve just lost our senses of humor since 1988?” It’s also a great commentary on youth in America, popularity in high school and just how easy it is to be a follower than a leader. Instead of getting into the semantics of Heathers and picking it apart for all its deeper meanings, we’re going to focus on the quotes, the near-perfect, original and hilarious quotes that sum up so much in just a few words. Now memorize this shit and start dropping it in conversations as early as tonight at dinner.


All photos: New World Pictures

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  • lucygoosey74

    Ah you left the best quote for last. The whole time I was reading I was like “where’s fuck me gently with a chainsaw?!”
    When I was a teenager, my 2 best friends and I watched Heather’s every Wednesday night for at least a year..it was our “thing”.
    20+ years later, this movie still rocks!

    • Amanda Chatel

      Of course I had to save that quote for last! It’s so fucking amazing! Best for last, always.

  • kjon

    Amanda. Why are you pulling my dick?

    • Amanda Chatel

      Because, kjon, if you want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly.

    • kjon


    • Amanda Chatel

      I SO wanted to use that one… but I knew someone would get their panties in a twist over it and then I’d be labeled a homophobe. But hells yeah, that’s a great one.

  • Nessy

    My son asks me what my damage is, thanks to my sister.

  • lucygoosey74

    “Is that pate?” *SLAP*

    • kjon

      Oh yessss, so many pate gems.

  • Renee

    The Heathers quote I actually use most frequently is “I gotta motor or I’m gonna be late for that funeral.”

    • Amanda Chatel

      Ugh! I can’t believe I left out that one… so great.

  • Heather

    Did I have a brain tumor for breakfast, cause I read the article and I do not see the 10 quotes anywhere….where is this list?

    • Amanda Chatel

      Apparently so, Heather… it’s a gallery. The photos and quotes are at the bottom of the article.

  • Chloe Walker

    I never stopped using Heathers patois. Current fave: “You’re such a pillow case.”

  • lucygoosey74

    “cornnuts” *smash*
    Also, “Teenage suicide (don’t do it) by Big Fun.

  • Jen

    Ha. I say “What’s your damage?” all the damn time. And now so does my son.

    • alexandra

      me too! I tragically didn’t see this movie until last year (it came out two years before I was born), but I immediately started saying “what’s your damage??” in every possible situation

  • MR

    I liked the opening scene, when he pulles the gun on the jocks. Classic. Winona rules.

  • Mike Paul

    Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.