Smelling Someone Else’s Dirty Laundry Just Got Super Romantic And Sexy

Fuck online dating, or the ridiculous thought of trying to meet someone at a bar or a coffee shop, because shit just got real stinky and way more animalistic. Other animals on earth don’t have such silly things like online dating, but mange to find a mate with whom to procreate, so perhaps it’s time we take a lesson from our furry and feathered buddies and start trying to find our match through more wild kingdom type things like smell. One woman’s stinky guy is another woman’s dream-scented fella.

With this concept in mind a new trend is on the horizon and it’s called Pheromone Parties, where you let your body and senses do the thinking as opposed to your eyes. It goes like this: those who are interested in attending these parties that, so far, can only be found in New York City and Los Angeles, agree to sleep in a shirt for three nights, shove it in a plastic bag when it’s good and spicy with their individual stench, then freeze it. Party-goers show up with their dirty laundry, are given an index card with a number on it and the sniffing begins! When the participants find a smell that gets them feeling frisky, a picture is taken of them holding the bag of their nose’s choice, the image is projected on the wall and the owner of the shirt steps forward so happily ever after can ensue. Or at least that’s the ultimate goal.

It might seem weird, but science doesn’t lie. Researches who study genetics have found that human beings use scent to weed out possible genetic combos that could result in weaker offspring. This also means that in between all that weeding out, our noses can also pinpoint our perfect genetic match that will end up in strong offspring that will keep the species going and going like a goddamn Energizer Rabbit. Does’t this route seem so much more exciting than finding a mate any other way? It’s also one less article of clothing to wash.

I guess there can be some trepidation in regards to who just might be coming forward once their shirt is on the wall for all to see, but even if you don’t fancy his or her looks, at least you know that you’ll be making some super superior kids should you get that far in the relationship. Obviously love is about making kids that will put to shame all the other little ones at the park.

So the next time you’re thinking about doing laundry, stop right there in your track. Toss your dirty night shirt in your freezer and wait to show it off. If you can’t find yourself a Pheromone Party (I just did a quick Google search and came up empty), maybe you can start carting around your stinky, frozen clothes instead and force your date to give them a whiff somewhere between the appetizers and dinner. Dating isn’t easy, but insisting that someone you barely know should smell your unwashed duds will definitely be a walk in the park.

 

Photo: Discovery

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    • macalny

      Great idea (using pheromones to meet those we’re better genetically compatible with, that is), but the sense of smell and pheromones are affected by hormonal contraceptives.

    • CG

      This isn’t really new is it? My friends and I used to do this in high school all the time at parties….

      • Amanda Chatel

        Well now people are making cash off of it. You and your friends could have been millionaires by now if you started throwing parties surrounding this concept back in the day!