What Your Boyfriend’s Ex-Girlfriend Says About Him

If you are not currently 18, or living in the 16th century, your boyfriend had some manner of girlfriend prior to you. If you are living in the 16th century, he has syphilis, because he has been fornicating with prostitutes. Unless you’re Puritans. He probably has no exes if you’re 16th century puritans, but you’re going to get plague.

Pic via True Blood

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    • Larissa

      I absolutely hate myself for A) knowing this, and B) being the douchebag who points it out, but that pic of Lindsay Lohan is from I Know Who Killed Me, not I Know What You Did Last Summer. I Know What You Did Last Summer was a reasonably decent book made into an eh movie but with a bunch of awesome 90′s stars (teenaged Freddie Prinze Jr., Ryan Phillipe, and Sarah Michelle Gellar? Fuck yeah! oh, and Jennifer Love Hewitt?….eh, okay.) I Know Who Killed Me was another Lohan Special, by which I mean a clusterfuck train wreck.

    • Eileen

      Dude, the plague was in the fourteenth century. And then appeared sporadically in the seventeenth century. You and your sixteenth-century boyfriend can live a long and happy life together.

      What does it say about your boyfriend if all of his exes are significantly less attractive than you are? (I mean, I know it says I’M full of myself – but what does it say about him??)

      • Jennifer Wright

        WAIT NOT TRUE. In 1563 the plague ripped through London and wiped out a quarter of the population. It’s why Queen Elizabeth moved her court to Windsor.

        I mean, I’m going to live because I’m going to be bathing all the time, but still.

        I think it says your boyfriend should feel lucky? Probably don’t remind him of that all the time though.