Is This What Dating Is Really Like?

So, I guess that this is a pretty accurate version of how dating works. I guess. I mean, I don’t know. First of all, I haven’t dated in years. Second of all, when I was dating, I don’t think I ever did this whole “date-never see each other-reunite over coffee-fuck-date-never see each other again” thing.

Does this paint an accurate picture of your dating life?

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    • Marissa

      No, it’s not accurate. I hope it never is, either, because I am much happier single. Jesus. Depressing.

    • d

      Kids in the Hall did it better.

    • Lastango

      Love it! Let’s update it for the 30-something losers:

      He proposes a fun date because that keeps things so light she’ll realize up front there’s no future and he’s willing to waste her time.

      She will tell him her clock is ticking, but she agrees to his distancing gesture because it will give her a story she can use to back off her worried mother.

      He says that’s great, because he’s already not that into her.

      She realizes that, but will still get a shot at making him feel guilty, which worked for a friend who is now married.

      He’s fine with that, because he’s already eyeing a transfer to another city, and that gives him an out no matter what.

      No problemo, because as Plan B she will be using their outings to meet his friends, who she hopes are better looking and have better cars and careers than he does.

      “That will give me time when we’re out to look at other women who have kept themselves better than you do,” he says, “…and you’ll have to pretend you don’t notice so you’re not humiliated.”

      “I can’t wait to see them brush you off. Then when your hormones have you crawling back defeated at the end of the night because I’m better than nothing, I’ll really start to have some leverage.”

      And so on. Gotta go — I’ve got a first date I’ve kept waiting for a half hour to make sure they don’t feel very special. It’s important to start off on the right foot…