• Thu, Jul 5 2012

Learning To Cook Reluctantly: Are Ann Romney’s Cookies Better Than Michelle Obama’s?

michelle obama ann romney cookie

First ladying seems like a pretty fascinating job. I realize that sounds like the begining of a 4th grader’s “what do you want to be when you grow up?” essay, but it is a fascinating job in spite of that. Do you know why? Because it requires having a good cookie recipe. Seriously.

I bet when Michelle Obama was working at a law firm, getting married to this young hot-shot lawyer Barack Obama, she did not think “Torts!? You mean tarts! I had better start working on my baked good skills now.” No. Of course she didn’t. I mean, she had shit to do.

Little did she know her lack of a good recipe was going to, as Slate has pointed out, LOSE HER HUSBAND THE ELECTION. Jesus Christ, why did she bother being a lawyer and doing law stuff when she could have been learning to make recipes that 1) did not involve Crisco and 2) did involve oats?

I’m sorry, but Ann Romney was on this stuff like it was her job. 

And now, both have to compete in the Family Circle presidential cookie-bake-off, which has been a tradition since 1992 when Hillary Clinton insulted the cookie baking women of America by saying that “I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do was fulfill my profession.” Family Circle challenged Hillary Clinton and Barbara Bush to a bake-off and Hillary provided a chocolate chip cookie recipe that beat Barbara Bush’s variation.

Since then, the First Lady Bake-Off has run every election year. Last time, Obama’s recipe for shortbread cookies was beaten by Cindy McCain‘s recipe for oatmeal butterscotch cookies, which also marks the first time that the spouse with the losing cookie recipe became First Lady.

Suffice to say, it seems really interesting that if Americans want a President they could play poker with, they still want a first lady who will bake them cookies. Really good cookies.

In an effort to one day cultivate my own cookie recipes, I decided to bake both Obama’s and Romney’s, take them to a 4th of July party, and ask people which they preferred. Here’s how they looked next to one another:

Ann Romney’s are the ones with M&Ms, Michelle Obama’s are the ones with black and white chocolate chunks. Which frankly seems pretty bold in an “ebony and ivory” kind of way of her. There were also supposed to be mint chocolate chips in them. I do not know which group of people mint chocolate chips represent. Elves, maybe. People from a cold climate.

I honestly assumed that Ann Romney’s would win in this because, well, again, baking cookies kind of seems like her job, but I cannot anticipate what peope like! Here are the two recipes:

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