• Sun, Jul 8 2012

8 Awkward Loss Of Virginity Scenes In Movies That May Or May Not Remind You Of Your First Time

It's supposed to be awkward, right?

When I found out today that the singer Joan Osborne (remember her?) was turning 49, I thought two things: Yikes, I feel ancient and It totally sucks that she and her awful God song will always be synonymous with the night I lost my virginity. Where was Belle & Sebastian’s If You’re Feeling Sinister that evening? Woe is me.

I long for the day that someone says their first time was a romantical (yes, I made up this word) evening of love and orgasms and rose petals scattered amongst a dewy field overrun with lavender or some equally creepy shit, but I don’t think it will ever happen. Frankly, I don’t want to ever hear that as I’m sure it will induce some sort of physical reaction involving vomit and passing out. How can having sex for the first time not be an awkward situation? Hell, even as an adult, after years and years of  practice, it can be awkward.

Since it’s Sunday, and Sunday is a day to rest and do the sex to each other, let’s take a gander at some of the most awkward, yet quite entertaining, but almost slightly romantic virginity-losing scenes in recent memory.

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  • Tania

    My first time wasn’t awkward, really. I mean, it definitely wasn’t all orgasms and ecstasy, it was painful, neither of us came, then we cuddled. But not awkward.

  • Renfield

    Rose wasn’t a virgin in Titanic. Pay careful attention to dialogue throughout the movie (if you can sit through the whole thing again) and you’ll catch a few references to her having done it will Billy Zane (“ewww”).

  • lucygoosey74

    Ugh, my first time was awful. It was the 80′s and all I can remember is that awful 80′s remake of “Lean on me” was playing on the radio and I started cracking up when the “we be jammon, we be jammon” part was playing.
    My laughter did not last..the condom broke and I was 14. That’s a lot of reality to handle. I spent the next few weeks a completely paranoid wreck, praying for my period to come, which it finally did, late, because I had myself so freaked out.

  • Kj

    Aw man, “My heart will go on,” suddenly started playing in my head. Thanks a lot, Chatel.

    • Amanda Chatel

      I aim to torment!
      Maybe I’ll do a Celine Dion gallery later this week, too…