No. Just no. Why would I do this to my lady friends? Wearing matching dresses is for dance troupes, North Koreans, and pneumatic twins appearing on the withered arms of Hugh Hefner.
You know what my lady friends want? They want to be invited to a nice party where I pay for their alcohol. They do not want to sequester themselves in a back room where they must emotionally maintain me and button me into a forty-pound dress while their boyfriends/husbands sit around awkwardly outside, talking to someone else’s uncle.
My lady friends are gentlewomen and demand a certain amount of gravitas.