Fancy and Ritualistic Food
Obviously, you should serve people a decent meal. But seriously: It’s one meal of their lives. I don’t care if my personal favorite foods are present. Just because I like something doesn’t mean I need to eat it on a special day many months from now, or purchase it for everyone I know.
Now, don’t get me wrong — I really care about food. When I was twelve and my family only got Chinese takeout on very special holidays, I truly thought that an amazing luxury — the MOST amazing luxury — would be to be able to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I now have this ability! I order lunch from Seamless several times per week. I regularly decamp to foreign countries just to eat their food, and then I infringe on my Argentine/Belgian/Swedish waiter with, “WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT I HAVE NEVER HAD BEFORE?” And then I’ve got the eels in green sauce and a nice Lambic (I went with Belgium in this example) and I feel that my airfare has been worthwhile.
However, I can’t bring 100+ people to Belgium with me, nor do I think they would appreciate me foisting my taste on them.
The food served at weddings is typically whitey-white-people country-club food (bland! meaty! cream sauce!), and also it’s one night of our lives. We have all eaten meals before, and will eat meals again! There is no need to celebrate our nuptials with a carving station.
Also, as someone who is at least moderately class-conscious, I kind of think that anyone who had to carve meat all night (under a heat lamp!) for a huge bunch of people having an expensive party would almost certainly be glowering with hatred. In general, food service workers resent you; I’m not making it worse with excessive meat.
Also, cake? I don’t eat baked goods. My man doesn’t eat dairy. There will definitely be no ceremonial cake-cutting. I mean, I’ll BUY a cake, I guess, and everyone can eat it. (By which I mean to say: LET THEM EAT CAKE!) But why make a big deal? I’m not ceremonially cutting anyone’s filet mignon for them, nor will we be playfully smushing the baby potatoes into one another’s faces.
Here’s my list of things that seemed kind of silly but actually make a lot of sense: