• Mon, Jul 16 2012

Poll: Would You Marry Someome You Met While Locked Up In A Mental Institution?

In the New York Times Vows section yesterday, a story ran about a couple who met in a mental institution. He was there for depression brought on by a divorce, the break-up of his family and being blinded in one eye by a paintball accident; she, for anxiety brought on by unspecified events.

Both parties are 47, and it’s said that they developed a bond as they overcame their issues together.

Now, I’ll be the one to say it — it seems like that could be treacherous ground upon which to build a relationship. It’s probably one of the most difficult times in your life, you’re lonely and searching for a bond, and you might be inclined to grab onto the first person who comes along.

But alternately, it could be the most beautiful time to forge a relationship. You’re both at your worst, and you help each other through, thereby connecting on a deeper level than you might ever have otherwise.

It’s times like this that I turn to you, dear readers, for answers. Please vote:

Sorry! This poll is now closed.

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  • Jon

    “veronika decides to die” is my fav book!

  • lucygoosey74

    Not based on experience, I have been in the hospital for my bipolar disorder and I’ve never even had a fleeting thought of hooking up with someone. The people there are mostly depressed, confused, lonely, angry. It’s not a happy place by any means.

  • mt

    i ended up falling in love with and living with a guy i met while i was in a mental institution (i was in for anxiety). he was wonderful…he really helped me. unfortunately i wasn’t able to see (or he was unwilling to show) how damaged he was, and he killed himself 8 months after i got out…you can find beauty and love in any situation, but whether it lasts is another story.

    • hm

      Wow…
      That’s so sad.
      How did you handle it afterwards?

  • Eileen

    On the one hand, I guess people in a mental institution are committed to dealing with their mental problems, and I won’t find myself in a relationship with someone who – surprise! – won’t admit to needing help.

    On the other hand, I’m a pretty mentally and emotionally stable person, so I don’t think I’d be equipped to deal with someone who wasn’t, so on the off-chance that I found myself in a mental institution, I think I’d be committed to getting better asap and then putting all of it, including the people, behind me.

  • Amanda Chatel

    In Splendor in the Grass, Deanie ends up marrying a guy she met in the psych ward… he ended up being more together than the guy who put her there. And obviously movies are practically true life so yeah…

  • Lastango

    A generalization isn’t possible; people can end up on a psych unit for all kinds of reasons. Some conditions are intractable (schizophrenia, bipolar), other can be transitory (substance abuse, depression).

    But it would be foolish to ignore that mentally ill people can destroy not only their own quality of life but yours too. That said, psychiatric disorder isn’t the ultimate benchmark; I’d rather marry a depressive than a problem gambler.

    Also, some of the most problematic folks, like psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists, aren’t found in psych units.

  • Lindsey

    My neighbors met in a support group for people whose spouses committed suicide. I think that’s a little weird. Not in a judge-y way, though. But really, how many people meet that way?