• Tue, Jul 17 2012

You Need A Drink: Out Of Someone’s Crotch?

 

Today, in impractical products with terrible marketing campaigns!

Do you like going to bars, but hate paying for drinks enough to consume warm alcohol you must wait in the bathroom line to access via complicated crotch-based interface? Look no further than the Freedom Flask. “Pays for itself in one use!”

As you can see in this instructional video, the flask disguises itself as a regular old gunt, but lo and behold, is actually a sophisticated device to carry cheap booze into bars with you. Cheap, warm, crotch-scented booze. When you feel the need to refresh your drink, just go to the bathroom, unzip your pants, and pee out some alcohol with your fake dick. It’s semen-a-licious!

In case it wasn’t already clear that this thing is being marketed solely to men, there’s a painful video that equates its use to getting a blowjay from a hot, one-dimensional, sex kitten:

YOU DA MAN!

In all seriousness, I hate paying for drinks as much as the next blogger, but wouldn’t a normal flask suffice? Unless you are going somewhere with super strict security, I don’t see how you couldn’t just sneak one of those into a bar instead. It’s considerably easier, and you also wouldn’t run the risk of looking like you’ve pissed yourself.

That said, I will never question the usefulness of The Winerack:

(Via Laughing Squid)

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