At What Point Should You Just Shut The F*ck Up About A Past Love And Move On?

We get it! Your heart was broken and he was the love of your life and you’ll never love like that again and you still dream about him on a nightly basis and you’re quite certain that all those hung-up calls from a blocked number are him just trying to hear your voice one last time! You want a medal just because you think you’re the first and the last to ever suffer such a detrimental toll on your heart and soul? Fine. I’ll go make you one, but in the meantime just shut the fuck up already!

This is actually my pep talk to myself every morning, but it clearly is NOT working. And as far as I’m concerned, I’m going to write about whomever I want for as long as I want because muses are hard to find and at some point I’m going to stop using pseudonyms, but I can justify this because I’m not famous and I don’t go on talk shows griping about my former love! However, Russell Brand is famous, and is also, yet again, talking about Katy Perry as if they’re the only two to ever file for divorce.

As of two days ago, Perry and Brand were officially divorced just six months after signing the necessary paperwork to call it quits after only 14 months of marriage. Now that the divorce is final, you’d think that would put an end to Brand’s incessant talking about it, but no. He was at it again on Piers Morgan last night where he expressed a very similar sentiment to the one he displayed on Elle DeGeneres just two months ago. The man is like a broken record about it instead of just letting it lay, as many celebrities would do. We get that he loved her, that it didn’t work out and right here is the tiniest violin in the world playing just for you, Russell.

Is there a time limit on such things, or do we get to drag them out forever? As someone in the public eye, you’d think he’d move to just solely trying to drudge up support for his new and upcoming projects, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Does he get twice as long as the relationship was or half as long as it was to discuss the dickens out of it? I can’t recall what the “official” time allotment is on it according to Sex and the City which, when it comes to things like this, is always correct.


Photo: Nikki Nelson /

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    • Lou

      Boy, are you way off track. The media and Katy want to talk about it. Katy to promote her music and film and the media (including yourself) to have something to talk about. Russell is the only one who did not milk this to death; he is just aswering questions. When an interviewer does not bring it up, Russell avoids the subject (Jimmy Kimmell, Chelsea Lately for example). Get your facts straight!

      • Amanda Chatel

        That wasn’t the point of the post, but thanks for filling me in on your favorite celebrities!

      • sheherbano

        Lou is right though. and it is kinda the point as you’re using russell brand to illustrate it. he does pretty much only answer questions – before, like when he was on Graham Norton, he didnt want to talk about it at all and the part where he was asked about it was cut out cause he got angry. so the criticism seems a bit much. i mean, he’s a very public figure and he is obviously asked a lot.

      • Jany

        I agree, you say that wasn’t the point of the post but the entire time you make it sound as if it was Brand who initiated the discussions about Katy. I watched this clip and it is clear that he was a) just answering a very direct question b) moved on from it pretty quickly and c) stated that he was happy and over the relationship – thus no violins needed.

    • holleeta

      The official SATC time is half the length of the relationship to recover.

      I don’t know much about Russell as he kind of annoys me and I HATE Katy and her shitty music and ugly face.

      • Amanda Chatel

        Thank you! Like I give a fuck about Russell Brand or Katy Perry — I was just using him as an example. I couldn’t name a song by her if I tried and I know pretty much nothing about him too… but it’s cute when people get all defensive about their silly celebrities.

      • holleeta

        It is! Also, celebrities can easily choose not to talk about a topic. No one is holding a gun to his head. Just sayin’.

        I think the SATC standard is pretty accurate in my experience. Although normally I just get into a long term relationship with a rebound and forget all about the ex.

      • sheherbano

        this feels rude. insulting the people who comment on your article to point out an inaccuracy..feels rude. and unnecessarily aggressive? all anyone’s saying is that it’s not the best example to use, not irrationally defending the honour of their ‘favourite silly celebrities’.

      • Penny

        sheherbano really needs a hobby.

    • s

      The fact that you’re a pop culture journalist (commentator?) who “couldn’t name a song by [a celebrity you chose to cover] if [you] tried” isn’t really something to be proud of…

      • Amanda Chatel

        I’m not a pop culture journalist. I’m also quite proud that my superior musical taste doesn’t allow me to be aware of such mediocre music! Thanks!

    • Gowers

      OK, we get it Amanda. Russell Brand was just a poor example to choose for this piece.

    • JenniWren

      Ignoring the brouhaha below, I think it’s most troubling when it’s a case of years, not months. I mean, I try to be sympathetic to friends who are in the immediate aftermath of a bad break-up; just because I feel like I’ve listened to this record fifteen times today doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel like a new pain all over again to them. But when someone is still talking about a break-up from years ago, when they’ve had relationships since then, that’s when you feel like asking them just what the hell the point of the continued re-living old wounds is.

      I also think it depends on how people are handling their pain. You can generally tell when someone is really making a conscious effort to move on. For a lot of people, talking it over helps them rationalize and normalize what’s going on. But sometimes people just want a pity party, and that’s when it becomes a problem, because dwelling on your pain is not healthy.

      • Amanda Chatel

        Thank you for this appropriate and well-thought out comment. This was exactly the dialogue I was hoping for until the Russel Brand/Katy Perry fan club showed up.

        Thank you, JenniWren!

      • Jany

        You need to learn to take criticism on your articles without insulting your readers, their “mediocre” taste in music or their “silly celebrities”.

        If the point you were getting at was missed by (many) people than maybe it was not well written and you can look to correct that in your next one.

        You could name it “When is it not ok to act like a pretentious a-hole.”

      • Amanda Chatel

        Oh, but I am a pretentious asshole always.

      • Amanda Chatel

        But Jany — and this isn’t sarcastic at all — you just gave me an idea for a post! Thank you!

      • Jany

        You’re welcome. Don’t forget to fact check :) lol

      • Amanda Chatel

        Oh I won’t! I actually just took your line about being a pretentious asshole word for word — thanks to cut and paste, there was no need for a fact check!

    • p:m

      Pointless article. Pay attention next time you link a video and decide to rant about it without even having the slightest clue as to what happened IN said video. You’d be a terrible movie critic. *shutters*.

      Moving on….

    • ian johnson

      Yep. A truly pointless and vitriolic piece of work. Whether one is a fan of Mr Brand or not, it has to be pointed out that this blog has no relevance. What business is it of the writers? And the irony? The writer is a part of the very same media which insists Russells Brands personal life remain in the public eye.

      I must say, the writer is either very naive or just doesn’t have much talent.