Look at me! Still sober as a newborn baby! And it’s awesome! Actually, it’s far easier than I thought it would be, but at the end of the day I really want a glass of wine. Not because I need it, but because, well frankly, I feel I deserve it after sitting in front of a computer all day writing while warding off toddlers. Kids are fucking exhausting!
I also thought it would be tough in social situations, but for some reason everyone went and got themselves knocked up. Seriously, the majority of my girlfriends out here in Colorado are pregnant, and they didn’t want to tell me until they could do so to my face. Because they wanted me to furrow in front of them and see the way my mouth moves when I scream out “Why?!” Apparently so.
I will admit to having a sip of red wine on Bastille Day, because it was Bastille Day and you can’t not have a sip of French wine on Bastille Day. I’m quite certain this is one of the laws of civilization, and as we all know, I’m very mindful of laws.
I had heard from friends who had given up the sauce that they experienced withdrawals that included night terrors, excessive sweating and overall horrible physical ailments, but I haven’t experienced any of these. I’m not a doctor because I can’t handle blood and I failed most mandatory science classes, but I’m thinking as one who is mostly a binge drinker, that fact may have helped in me avoiding these side effects of giving up the drinking. I don’t know. I’m also not about to Google it, because whenever I Google anything regarding health type issues, I usually come across something that tells me I’m either a sociopath or dying. I don’t feel like dying these days and I don’t need confirmation that I have Patrick Bateman living in my head, because I already know that.
However, I can confirm there is a boredom factor. My friends and family out here live these grown up lives that include going to bed at 10pm. Normally, if I were drinking, I’d have some wine, dance around to some records, compose a scathing post about someone who wronged me (which I will then delete the next morning when I sobered up) and do some online shopping. But now I soberly write after everyone goes to bed or I read a book that isn’t Fifty Shades of Grey despite the fact that it’s sitting on my desk staring at me as I write this.
I can’t say I feel any different, deprived, more productive or anything. I’m mostly just feeling “meh” and somewhat empty, although I don’t think the emptiness can be equated to giving up drinking.
How’s everyone who said they were going to try to give up drinking, too? Did you do it? Are we high-fiving through the Internet?