Illustrated Guide: How To Be A Good American Tourist In Europe

We recently got back from a wonderful week on vacation in Berlin*. While there, we mistakenly partook in the local drunk food specialty–currywurst!–before heading off to a nice restaurant for our last evening in the city. Sure enough, the currywurst did not agree with us and we sat there in a crowd of urbane Germans with horrible visions of throwing up all over them and their fancy restaurant. It then occurred to us: nobody wants to be that American, vomitting all over the locals! Hence, today’s Illustrated Guide is intended to aid our fellow Americans in giving a good impression while visiting those threateningly sophisticated nations known collectively as Europe.

*Unrelated to Jamie Peck‘s Berlin vacation.

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    • Lilac

      Were these suppose to be funny? They weren’t.

    • Thea

      Oh my god! I had the same experience of being in a nice restaurant in Italy after eating some “bad” shrimp earlier that day. All I could think was that I’d forever be the American girl who threw up in the dining room.

      Hope it worked out?

    • Bets


    • Denver the Last Dinosaur

      I love America and being American… but I am obsessively and neurotically apologetic whenever I’m in a foreign country because Americans are the WORST tourists.

    • KIt

      Not my favorite IG ever, but I lol’ed pretty hard at the bald eagle tearing the baguette in half.

      • Katie

        Me too.

    • Sherry Judge

      I have had it with ANTI-AMERICAN attitudes like THIS ONE on the internet and in the (liberal) news media. What am I not supposed to bee proud to be a citizen of the greatest country in the world? I am SICK of websites lik this one espousing anti-American attitudes and sentiments in supposedly funny satire posts that invite us to mock America. Have you ever been to France? They are the RUDEST people in the whole wide world. No thank you.

      • Wes

        Who are you people and from where do you come?

      • Pia

        I agree with Wes: Who are you people and from where do you come?

        On a side note, Sherry Judge, your inability to spell is just further confirmation that America is a bust. I know Europeans who have a better grasp on the English language than you do.

        Also it was meant to be FUNNY and it was HYSTERICAL!

      • Amy

        @ Pia: well there are 60 million Europeans who you’d expect to have a better grasp on the English language than an American ;) Just messing, but seriously, why does everyone talk about Europeans as if us Brits/Irish aren’t part of the gang?

    • Gerry

      Yawn. More anti-America sentiment from the internet.

    • alexandra

      I am sure it tastes better than it looks, but that currywurst photo made me a little nauseous.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        It should make you a little nauseous: it’s a deep fried bratwurst covered in ketchup and curry powder. It is meant to fell you and your paltry stomach.

    • alexandra
      • Ashley Cardiff

        Oh my god, they’re real!

    • Herman the German

      I’m not even sure if you are making fun about Americans or about what Americans think Europeans think of Americans. Did you just insult us prejudiced Euro folks, or the prejudiced Americans who think Europeans are prejudiced against Americans?
      Oh and, most American tourists I have met were rather nice.

    • Ally

      Aww man, as a Canadian, going abroad is boring. My part of the country fits all the hockey loving, bacon eating, oil pumping, freezing your ass off in hellish winters, stereotypes. Oh, and you’re welcome for Nickleback. :(

      • Ashley Cardiff

        It’s okay. America has made worse bands than Nickelback! Just because you haven’t heard Creed in a while doesn’t mean they’re less terrible. Or KoRn! KoRn and Limp Bizkit were both our fault. Don’t be so hard on yourself, buddy.

      • MM

        I’m from Vancouver. We are now famous as the “hockey riot city.” :(

      • Tania

        @MM: I feel your pain. I live in Victoria, and I *still* get comments about the Vancouver riots, just because I’m a Canucks fan. :(

        And it ate my other comment in reply to Herman the German.

    • Jamie Peck

      Oh man, I’m so sad we missed each other. Better make it a vegan currywurst next time.

    • M -

      I live in London, and Americans just ask the most ridiculous questions about everything here. Whenever I’ve encountered them in my home country (East Europe), though, they’ve always been really friendly, if loud. And also, I have to say Brits are the worst tourists I’ve ever met.