• Mon, Jul 23 2012

Should You Live With Your Significant Other?

Today, editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff are debating the age old question of cohabitation: should you live with your significant other? …Obviously we don’t mean because we are delicate flowers and don’t want to encourage unclean sexual urges; more like because sometimes you want to stay up all night, drinking in bed, watching TV, eating takeout. Sometimes you want to be a scumbag. But does a significant other hinder that?

Read the discussion and then let us know: Is it better to live alone? Or better to save on rent live in love?

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  • Nancy

    I want to hang out with you guys lol I came home from my vacation early last week because my boyfriend was leaving for a few days and I was soooo happy to be alone! I ate spaghetti smothered in cheese for breakfast, drank beer all day, watched my girl shows, read my book in complete silence!!!, stayed in PJs OMG IT WAS AMAZING.
    I’m like Ashley, I’m WAY more productive and put-together when I’m single. :S I’m trying to fix it though, because not doing things for the last couple years is finally catching up to me! lol. Seriously

  • JenniWren

    I run better when I live with people. I’m not massively sociable or anything, but I really like having other people around. Mostly that’s because I work at home, and it is, if anything, waaaay too easy to drift into an existence where all you do is sleep, eat, and work, usually all in the same room. It’s nice to have someone there to jabber at about really unimportant shit at the end of the day. Plus, you become fascinated with the more banal minutiae of other people’s lives, which makes you a better partner: “really, the vending machine broke down AGAIN? That’s, like the third time this month! I bet Abby wasn’t happy about that!”
    I also like living with someone because of those occasional times when you wake up at 3am convinced there’s a ghost in the apartment or something. It’s harder to wind yourself up when your SO is snoring like a paper shredder right next to you.

    • Eagle Eye

      I would like to second everything you’ve said above!

  • Sabrina

    Living with my bf has been hard these past two years (it’s the first time for both of us) but we’ve had our good moments too… luckily, we’re both so weird together that we already knew the worst of the worst about each other before sharing a bed every night. Like, we knew that on the weekends sometimes we don’t wake up until 4pm, and he knew that I love to eat in bed watching old fashioned mystery stories and I knew that when he comes home from work he takes off his t shirt and rubs his armpits with it and then throws it on the living room floor. Win win.

    • jiraf

      yes to this comment. i’ve been living with my boyfriend for 3 years and while most people’s reaction is a “how do you DO IT??” or recoiling from the mountain of unmanageable mess, i kind of like that we’re both lazy slobs. you just have to find the right match. (for most people, if you’re messy i guess that would mean finding someone that is CLEAN? no) so our entire floor is covered in clothing which we trample all over and then pick off the floor and wear because why even pretend when the laundry pile is the size of the ceiling and hasnt been done in months? oh you left a 5-day-old peach tea on the dresser and now there’s fruitflies?? why are there fruitflies in my pile of clothing?? there’s a banana in this POCKET>!> you get the idea. sounds gross but its also fun. you don’t have to put up with someone whining about your mess and eccentric habits when you are also messy and eccentric. then again you might have the 4am flute concertos to contend with. (wish i had that winotorium…)

      (also my dad had said “you’ll never find someone if you keep being this messy” ha! showed him! (i think??))

    • Sabrina

      We ALWAYS get the how do you do it?!?! question, while their mouths hang open and then tell us about their horrible living situations with their significant other. I mean, we’ll be the first to say it hasn’t been the easiest plank to walk, but it has been fun. We also always (like every single day) hear our neighbors SCREAMING at each other and as we rush to the window to eavesdrop we realize that they’re yelling “fuck you, you fucking asshole!” at each other because of… the dishes in the sink. Even if we had been mid-argument, we look at each other at that point and say “thank goodness that is not us. at the very least, at least we’re both weird and messy.”

  • Alle C

    I’ve only lived with one boyfriend and it was a complete and total shitshow. It was like the opening scenes of a romantic comedy where two people try to figure out how to live together, except that it was never funny and he never figured it out. I don’t know if I would ever do it again, it was such a scarring experience.

    But, I mean, this was my relationship with someone who had a lot of unaddressed issues! It will probably not be so bad for everyone! If you’re thinking about moving in with a significant other, my best advice is to MAKE SURE when you’re going in to it that you are both on the same page about what it means. For example: I told him that living together was as serious a relationship as I was ever going to have (I don’t want to get married). He made all the right noises about that, but later it became clear that he thought we were “Roommates who bang.” Exact phrasing.

    Le sigh! I do not feel bad that it didn’t work out.

    • Ashley Cardiff

      “Roommates who bang”!!!!

      He sounds like an asshole.

    • Cate

      I have also lived with one boyfriend who had unaddressed issues. He didn’t think we were roommates who banged, but he was absolutely unwilling to make any compromises about our living situation or otherwise.

      That taught me that space is great, and it’s cool to be able to carpet a corner of the floor with clothes and not have to worry about muddy man-boots trampling one’s pretty dresses. Living alone forever!

    • Alle C

      Let’s not say “asshole,” but rather “permanently stuck in adolescence.” Oh, what the fuck: he was also an asshole.

      And Cate, totally, LIVING ALONE FOREVER!

  • Katy

    1) WINOTORIUM!!
    2) I’m pretty sure there was a solid JD Salinger reference thrown in there, Esme. Props.

  • Michelle

    I like sitting in empty bathtubs too, especially when it’s hot out. It’s so cool against my skin.

  • Meghan Keane

    You know, the older I get, the more I find the whole separate twin beds concept appealing.

  • Maggie

    Up until recently, I had never lived alone; I always had at least one roommate, and then my boyfriend and I moved in together last year. He’s away for 3 months, so I’ve been experiencing living alone for the first time and… it’s fucking amazing. I watch whatever I want, cook meals with NO meat in them (because when man is home, man needs meat food), have nightly no-pants parties, talk openly to my pets, and just generally do whatever I want. Not to mention the place is cleaner. I miss my boyfriend, but I’m starting to see the appeal of separate houses ;)

    • kjon

      “man needs meat food” haha I know that’s right!

  • kjon

    I’ve lived with my bf for 3 years as well and at one point we lived in the Netherlands (Maastricht is a completely amazing) for study abroad and we spent four months at one point living in a dorm room together. Yes, just one tiny room*. We had our moments but now we really appreciate the places we have lived since with two bedrooms and bathrooms. Not sharing a bathroom (if even possible) I think is the secret for cohabitation success haha.

    * Hate to drop a SATC reference (tired of that fuckin’ show yet?) but I kept thinking of the “SSB secret single behavior” episode and thinking “bitch, you got off so light”. I hate Carrie.

    • Rubinator

      I have never, ever shared a bathroom with my dude. We’ve been together 7 years, and I really just can’t fathom it. We’ve been lucky enough that all the places we have lived had 2 bathrooms. I always make him take the “Guest” bathroom so that I can guilt him into cleaning it regularly in case “people come over.” So far it’s worked out great. We both have bathroom privacy and I don’t have to clean up after his nasty ass!

    • kjon

      I do that too (re cleaning the bathroom for guests). It works.