I have always been suspicious of women who don’t have any women friends. In my mind, these women fall into two categories: those who just can’t get along with fellow ladies, and those who prefer the company of men for some sort of attention factor. I do not mean to pigeonhole; I’m just basing this on my personal experience. And while the suspicion of those women who don’t have female friends will probably never cease, in some ways I think they’re lucky — in some ways they avoid a lot of drama.
For those of us who do have women friends, it isn’t exactly the easiest of relationships to maintain. I have found that with the majority of my female friends, even though we’re all adults now and this shouldn’t be the case, I will always lose when it comes down to choosing a man or me. Even if it’s someone who is new to the picture, I have found that women, if it means procuring a potential husband, would rather throw their female friends under the bus than pass on the opportunity to find themselves in a relationship. While I’m someone who has never defined or validated my life by being someone’s girlfriend, I can’t say the same for a lot of my female friends.
So when it does arise that I’m left somewhere waiting for a friend only to recieve a text too late that they’re not coming because Johnny Cakes is coming over, the next thing that follows is anger, which of course will lead to drama. Unlike my male friends who will shrug off that they were left at a bar waiting for their friend, I will not let it slide (as most women in this case will not, as well.) I will call out my friend on this behavior and not only will this lead to drama, but it will also have me labeled “jealous.” Of course, I’m jealous! I so wish I was dating someone just like Johnny Cakes and his impeccable vocabulary of all of 30 words and his penchant for Miller Light! Such a statement will further solidify my “jealousy” and this will result in not speaking to each other for days or weeks — depending on the length of the Johnny Cakes situation.
Eventually things will resolve and all will be well again in “girl world,” until there is a “look”:
“What does that look mean?”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t give you a look.”
“Yes, you did! You totally just gave me a look! Do you think I’m too fat for this dress?!”
“No! I was thinking about something unrelated to you.”
“So that’s why Johnny Cakes broke up with me? I’m too fat and too ugly?”
“Where are you coming up with this?”
“Your face doesn’t lie!”
And a slushy or a champagne glass will be thrown on the ground for dramatic effect and both parties will disperse in opposite directions while each one swears up and down that they’ll never talk to each other again. They will, of course, but in the heat of the moment, assuming otherwise is just nonsense.