Breaking News: Tattoo Guy Turned Out To Be A Real Pr*ck

It was about the time that the bars let out in New York City last night, when I got a call from Tattoo Guy. He was clearly drunk and feeling really bad for himself.

From the moment I first met Tattoo Guy, his number one flaw was that he has absolutely zero confidence in his work, you know, because he’s “just a tattoo artist” — his words not mine. Honestly, I’m sick of these men in my life who question their talent. It’s not my job to try to convince these people otherwise — I have my own insecurities with which to contend.

So there he is on the phone going on about how much his life sucks like a 15-year-old and when he finally asks what’s going on with me, I tell him. My brother-in-law’s sister has stage four cancer; she’s currently in the ICU and frankly, it’s not going well at all. I explained that while I’m trying very hard to enjoy my trip, the fact is there is definitely a dark cloud on this visit and it’s been really difficult emotionally. I also told him that Aurora shootings, a town from where my brother-in-law is from, has also been a source of sadness and stress for him, on top of his sister. Tattoo Guy’s response? “She’s lucky.” I wasn’t sure who was lucky or why, so I asked for him to clarify. Apparently, because his life is so fucking awful, he said my brother-in-law’s sister is lucky that she’s sick and “especially lucky” that there’s a good chance she is not going to make it.

I was stunned. I didn’t even know what to say. I get that he was drunk, but who says that? And because that wasn’t enough, he also told me he’s married. Yep. Although it’s supposedly for a green card, the dude is fucking married. So I dropped some profanities at him, called him the prick he is, and told him to delete my number, because that’s exactly what I was going to do, and did, the second I got off the phone.

It’s always a lot of fun when the people you thought just may have been better than the rest, actually turn out to be shit. I had really hoped we could be friends, but if that’s how he really is, I have enough friends and don’t need anymore.

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    • lucygoosey74

      Alright missy, I’ve been following your exploits with tattoo guy for a while now, and he seemed like a fairly decent dude, kinda reminded me of someone I used to know, but wait…he’s MARRIED?! Where was he hiding his wife this whole time? Your post does not give enough information, I’m on the edge of my seat now! Tell me moooore!

      (hehe, was that dramatic enough? I DO want to know more though)

      • Amanda Chatel

        For some reason my answer to your question post up there instead!

    • BeccaTheCyborg

      Holy shit! That’s some impressive assholery on his part. What a fucking douchebag. I’m sorry you had to deal with it, on top of all the actual, legitimate problems.

    • Amanda Chatel

      I only went to his place once, because honestly, it was a shit hole and she wasn’t there. Supposedly, according to him, she doesn’t live there all the time because it’s a green card thing… but SERIOUSLY?! Dude is married. I don’t care about the reason.

      And of course, of all the fucking countries in the world, she’s from Sweden. I feel like Swedes will forever be the thorn in my side since Christoffer (Swede) made an appearance in my life.

      My head is pounding from crying so hard, mostly because of what he said about my brother-in-law’s sister, because as far as deceitful men go, I’m really not surprised anymore.

    • Sam

      I’m appalled and disgusted and jesus christ what is wrong with that guy.

      • Amanda Chatel

        Let’s see if I can get through the rest of the day without any incidents… this week totally sucked.

      • Sam

        I hope so, too. Let me know if you wanna Facetime if you need somebody to talk to, whether it’s about Tattoo Guy being a prick or simply nail designs.

    • Lastango

      When someone is dying, a lot of people don’t know what to say — and something stupid comes out. It can be surprisingly self-referential, because for some folks every situation is about them. (No conversation on any topic can go for more than a minute before they magically turn it to themselves.)

      I’m so sorry to hear about your sister. BTW, I know someone who works in an ICU. She tells me that if a person is in there because of complications from cancer they can go downhill fast and unpredictably. That means the best time to visit and share is always now. No one knows what may happen tomorrow or a few days from now. Sometimes no one wants to admit that or say it to anyone else, which gives distant relatives the idea they can always drop by in a couple of weeks, or next month and still have a good conversation. Not so.

    • Renee


      Sometimes people surprise you for the worse, sometimes for the better. Sucks that it had to be the first one though :(

    • Jen

      Oooooh… sorry, girl. That’s just shitty.

      BUT, at least you found out before you got back to NYC and avoided any potential hooking up just for old-times sake, so that’s good right?

      Yeah, I’m really obnoxious with the whole silver lining crap. It’s just how I am. ;o)

      • Amanda Chatel

        But sometimes you need to be reminded of the silver lining… so thank you!

    • Sabrina

      OMG! Amanda, I am so sorry! When I read your post about no more tattoo guy, I really did look up at the sky, shaking my fists and yelling “WHY!!!!” But holy shit, what a fuck up. Dude, you will be better for letting this one go for sure.

      I am so furious right now lol…. if he was fucking married and it was no biggie, then why the hell didn’t he just tell you that in the first place?!?! I am so fucking sick of guys lying and hiding shit, only in the end to act like it’s no big deal. Well, if it was no big deal, why the hell didn’t you just tell me in the first place?! haha can you tell I got some shit going on in my life too? Ugh! is all there really is to say.

      • Amanda Chatel

        Perhaps the guy who has obviously pissed you off and Tattoo Guy should get together and share tips on douchery. Assholes!

    • Lisa

      Yikes! It just shows that you never really know someone. How long did Amanda and him date/how long have they been involved?

      • Amanda Chatel

        Only a few months… thank god.

    • MM

      Mega douche!

    • Crystal

      Holy crap, Amanda… So sorry to hear about not only the douchewaffle’s actions, but your family as well. My thoughts and prayers are with your family, as well as with you. He had no right to say such hurtful words. :(

    • Lauren

      First and foremost, I’m so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law’s sister. That’s awful, and I hope you and your family are able to support each other throughout the difficult time you are all having.

      Second of all, Tattoo Guy is a cock knuckle. Good for you for deleting his number immediately.

      • Amanda Chatel

        I plan to use “cock knuckle” forever and ever.

      • Lauren

        Yes, it’s one of my favorites. I keep it for special uses so as it doesn’t lose it’s punch.

    • zzz

      this article is vacuous and boring, and you sound disgusting. get a hepatitis test if you date married tattoo artists. is this what happens when you get a degree in communications? i don’t know how i ended up in this intellectual black hole of an article, but i’m just writing to say that i’m a big fan. keep up the good work.

      • Lisa

        I find this comment very confusing. “you sound disgusting” at the start to “I’m a big fan” at the end. What the what?

      • Amanda Chatel

        Trolls often evoke “what the what?” sentiments. It’s a very confusing state of affairs for all of us!

    • Maria

      I just re-read this article because I very recently had a similar “Tattoo Guy” experience. Only he told me that he had convinced two girls to cheat on their boyfriends with him and knowingly led on a girl with terminal cancer a week earlier. Regardless of whether he had actually done that, he said it a little TOO pridefully.
      I’m sorry that your potential friend also turned out to be bananas.

      • Amanda Chatel

        He led on a girl with terminal cancer?!?! WOW. Not to generalize, but men really do fucking suck a lot of the time.

        Maybe these two fellas can be friends!