Fifty Shades of Grey Is Causing A Baby Boom, Apparently

Does it make your skin crawl to think Isabella and Jacob were the most popular baby names of 2010? That the Twilight franchise led to so many superfans naming their offspring after central characters that it became an actual trend? Maybe it’s only disquieting because Twilight‘s target market (hopefully) isn’t baby-having age. Or maybe it’s disquieting because it’s like getting a bad tattoo of your favorite band on a whim… only the bad tattoo is a person who has to live with the knowledge that his/her mom fucking loves sparkly Mormon vampires.

Which brings us to Fifty Shades of Grey, this year’s Twilight. Both are nothing more than poorly-written wish-fulfillment, both follow spineless female protagonists and display an impressively facile understanding of human relationships (and earth-shattering, screaming orgasm sex for virgins, LOL). Still, a few years from now, Ana and Christian may be the top baby names.

The twist? Those unfortunate babies were conceived on account of the book.

Yes, Fifty Shades of Grey is causing some people to have sex (maybe they find mixed metaphors arousing?). “Reading Fifty Shades of Grey is acting like an aphrodisiac for women,” explains Linda Murray, EIC of to ABC’s Good Morning America, “It’s putting them in the mood more frequently and they’re having more sex and they’re ultimately getting pregnant faster.”

If your natural instinct is to say, “That’s absurd!” just hold on a second, because GMA actually rooted out three real examples.

First, there’s Carly and Leroy Gibson of Spokane, Wash., who were having some trouble conceiving:

“I think the fun was taken out of it at that point in time because you’re like, ‘Okay, here it is. Day 14. We’ve got five days to go. Go strong. I don’t care if you’re tired…it’s time to go to work,’” Carly said.

After Carly began reading Fifty Shades, Leroy says he noticed a change in his wife.

“She just put down the book and she was all over me,” he told GMA. “It was nice and enjoyable.”

Next, there’s Scott and Danielle Olszewski from New York City, also stymied in their efforts:

“I’m blessed that I have two healthy kids but I wanted that one more and I was sad,” Danielle said. “Then Christian Grey entered my life.”

Last, Michelle and Michael Burdick of Brockton, Mass. Michelle suffered a miscarriage and various health problems. Then, a friend of Michelle’s recommended the books:

“I started telling him [Michael] about it, bits and pieces, here and there,” Michelle said. “Then I started taking pictures of the book and sending them to him.”

“I opened up the email and I go, ‘Okay, umm, are you suggesting something?,’” Michael said of his response.

And guess what?

The Gibsons are due on Feb. 15; Michelle and Michael are due Feb. 20; and Scott and Danielle Olszewski are due Feb. 1. February is nine months after the Fifty Shades trilogy saw its biggest spike in sales this past May.

Three couples conceiving doesn’t exactly make for a baby boom, though it can indicate a larger trend (or lazy trend piece). But here we thought people were reading Grey because of its “so bad it’s good” qualities? Do people actually like this book?


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    • Tania

      My early 20s cousin and my forty-ish classmate have both waxed poetic about their love for this book. ON FACEBOOK. Which to me seems like someone talking about how much they love Literotica or porn on Facebook so it’s weird.

      But apparently yes. Some people really love this book, for real, and not because they think it’s bad. They actually think it’s good and sexy.

      Which, I guess, means maybe I should be talking about how much I love Literotica on Facebook because maybe then they’d be able to find some actually sexy erotica with real BDSM and not abuse disguised as BDSM. I’m pretty sure Literotica has a section for it.

      • Cee

        I had a friend who did the same and one day I must have been particularly annoyed when she wrote a status asking how she would fill the void after finishing the books, to which I replied “fill it with anal beads” hah she was not too happy.

      • porkchop

        Cee: Yes! What else are you supposed to say? You can’t ignore a set up like that.

      • Tania

        @Cee: That’s amazing!

    • Britt

      I was skipping the sex paragraphs come the 2nd and 3rd books, but the storyline through the them were JUST riveting enough to keep my attention. I couldn’t stand the poor writing and creepy descriptions in any of them, but come the 2nd book, I just wanted to know what happened at the end.

    • porkchop

      I had no idea there were women out there so unimaginative as to never think about sex unless it becomes a fad.

      • Lo

        I was just about to say this, but you said it better. Ta.

      • Alexis H

        Ha! I love you. I was wondering the same thing myself.

    • ChristianGreyIsASexGod

      Unfortunately, I was roped into reading the series, and Christian Grey is endlessly sexy, but I couldn’t get past some of the conversations and plotlines that just seemed so contrived. Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist Who Looks Like A European Model meets boring, shy, ordinary college student and immediately falls in love? Sounds exactly like Twilight.

    • Alexis H

      What creeps me out about this is that you know, you KNOW that someday years from now one of these women is going to get drunk and make some TMI quip to their child about how “I’ve always kind of considered Christian Grey to be your father if you know what I mean.” Baaaaarf.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        The idea of that is amazing, unsettling.

    • Amy

      What’s ironic is that a lot of women talk about this book publicly with the intent of making themselves seem sexy and kinky, but when a women admits that she likes 50 Shades of Gre,y I automatically assume that she has never watched porn, never read erotica, and does not actually have a fulfilling and adventurous sex life.

    • Lexie

      It saddens me that people still have bad taste in literature.