Tampa’s Strip Clubs Are Gearing Up For The Republican National Convention By

If there’s one thing that conservative-leaning men love, it’s stifling all of their weird sexual urges until they can unleash them all directly into the cleavage of a sex worker.

So when the Republican National Convention hits Tampa at the end of August, in addition to a loud and proud upholding of family values, a recommitment to Jesus or two and a denunciation of other people’s sexual preferences, there will also be a mass unloading of fetishes at local strip clubs.

And no one is more aware of that than the strip clubs themselves. According to a report by Tampa Bay Online, club owners have been gearing up for Republican’s dirty little secrets to rain down on their dancers in the form of dollar bills:

Pretty genius, huh? My favorite is the girl who notes that with the advent of online strip clubs, she can keep making money off these hypocrites politicians long after they leave.

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    • Lastango

      “If there’s one thing that conservative-leaning men love, it’s stifling all of their weird sexual urges until they can unleash them all directly into the cleavage of a sex worker.”

      What a goofy little thing to spew. Are there no qualifications at all for the job of writing at this blog — other than being young, female, and in-your-face liberal?

      • Langostino

        That was a goofy little thing to spew (though I imagine no where near as goofy as the little things these conservative men are spewing out of…)! Rude of her not to take into account that some of them would much prefer to unleash their pent up sexual urges onto the buttocks of a sex worker!

      • Lastango

        Thanks Langostino… I couldn’t have come up with a more clarifying, supportive response if I had written it myself to show what gratuitous, vulgar, cheap, hot-button-pushing, red-meat-for-the-homers posting is all about. People will think I commented under another name, or that we’re a team.