Dissecting Ryan Lochte: Are Looks More Important Than Brains?

I just can't get enough of this photo.

If you haven’t seen the montage of Ryan Lochte’s interviews, you’re missing out. He is, well, a man of few and interesting words, but with looks like that does it really matter what comes out of his mouth?

For the first time ever, I’m actually interested in Olympic swimming. Not because I care who wins or doesn’t, but because I’ve decided that Ryan Lochte is the most beautiful creature to have ever been put on this planet. Some people have Ryan Gosling, other have, I don’t know – George Clooney? And I have Ryan Lochte. Between his gorgeous straight nose that could make a choir sing and his heavenly blue eyes (yes, I can’t believe I just used “heavenly” either), the fella is fucking fantastic looking. Fantstic looking and, well, not so great with words as the interviews have proven.

So maybe he’s not great with talking to interviewers? Maybe speech isn’t exactly his forte, but with looks, skill and a body like that, does it matter? Am I objectifying him? Because that’s not my intention — at all — I swear! I’m not saying he’s dumb, I’m just saying he doesn’t come off well when forced to speak. Either way, I am saying the guy is phenomenally delicious on the eyes.

Sorry! This poll is now closed.

Photo: Christian Witkin

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    • epilonious

      I’m hereby referring to him as ManQuinn. I use this Daria quote to elaborate…

      Daria: Did you just spend two hours dressing up to go the door for one minute and dump your date?
      Quinn: Daria, if you look your best when you blow a guy off, it makes them feel like you care.
      Daria: Well, that advice should prove very helpful. Sometimes your shallowness is so thorough, it’s almost like depth.
      Quinn: Thanks.

    • AAA

      I have a BA in English, a Master’s in Nursing and often snuggle down reading anything from medical journals, political magazines, Christopher Hitchens and James Joyce. If the opportunity arose, I would be ALL OVER Lochte as much as possible.