The First Photos Of Natalie Portman’s Wedding Dress Are Here…Let’s Discuss

As Ashley reported earlier today, Natalie Portman married Benjamin Millepied, of the Frenchy dancing dreamboat Milledpieds, over the weekend at a private home in Big Sur, California. And despite the couple’s best efforts, some paparazzo was able to climb a drainpipe and snap some grainy photos of Natalie’s dress, so of course we must now discuss it.

Unfortunately, we don’t have the rights to publish the photos in question, but here they are on Open that link in a new window and drink Natalie Portman’s wedding dress the fuck in, because it is the most culturally relevant garment you are going to see all day.

Now. What do we think of it? I will say first off that Natalie looks absolutely radiant, but her beauty isn’t really up for debate here. Unless you’re one of those contrarian assholes who claims that you “just don’t see it,” you agree that Natalie Portman is attractive. As a fellow short Jewish girl, I also appreciate that she wore flats, because so many of us fight against our naturally diminutive cute stature, and Natalie owns it. (Easier for her than most, but still.) I bet she had an easy time dancing!

I also like the floral crown, because she’s always been kind of a hippie, so why not? The awkward length of the dress, however, combined with the unnecessary long sleeves, make the ensemble look a bit little girl-ish to me. (I was going to say “Quinceañera-ish”, but then I looked up some Quinceañera dresses and they’re actually pretty sexy.)

Was that too mean? I hope not. Feel free to weigh in if you disagree. And if you are reading this, Natalie Portman, I’m sorry that a paparazzo invaded your privacy, but once those photos are on the net, it’s my job to post ‘em. You were very good in Black Swan and I like that you care about animal rights, and you seem cool in general. Please don’t hate me.

(Via JustJared)


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    • Sarah

      The long sleeves may have been necessary for a traditional Jewish wedding. She rocked it.

    • porkchop

      This whole scene is so irresistibly charming that it’s MAKING me love the dress. Also, YES to secret wedding in Big Sur.

    • Brianna

      I don’t love the dress, I think without the sleeves it would have been fine. But she is so absolutely gorgeous that it doesn’t matter that much.

    • E.D.

      Without the sheer sleeves and the crown it would have been really cute.

      Even the sleeves with a flower behind her ear would have been good.

      OK – I just hate floral crowns.

    • Domenica Lovaglia

      I agree it’s a bit frumpy at first glance… But then I think about the fact that it was a traditional Jewish wedding at a private residence. It’s very likely that there was mostly family in attendance, some probably old and very traditional. This event was obviously about honoring tradition and family and she can look like a movie star on the red carpet. This seems much more genuine and focused on priorities.

    • Rose D.

      The dress is fine. It’s the crap on her head that’s terrible. A floral wreath AND a veil?!?!

    • gyleches

      Can’t say anything good about it.