• Tue, Aug 7 2012

How I Accidentally Worked On A Porn Set

Jessica, an absurdly gorgeous brunette, sat at my station in a robe as her boyfriend held her hand. I repeated the same sort of conversation as before and she informed me that she wanted a spot on MTV, had just found an agent, and was finally taking care of herself. For an eighteen year old, she seemed incredibly mature and intelligent, but I found it a bit strange that she kept reassuring her significant other that she was “doing the best thing for the both of them,” as though he thought her career was a potentially bad thing. Again, I sort of just glazed over and gave her what I was told: dark, smokey shadow with glossy lips and smooth hair.

The assistant director called Jessica into the bedroom where Robert and the rest of the crew had been waiting to shoot. She smiled and took off her robe, revealing a Victoria’s Secret-esque figure in Victoria’s Secret-esque lingerie. I realized they would be performing a romantic sort of scene and, again, moved on.

My third actor was Kyle: a bit older, very attractive black fellow who seemed to be a seasoned, confident performer. Prior to even sitting down, he removed his shirt and pointed out a few spots he needed me to cover up. I jokingly asked if he also had a shirtless scene. The conversation went as follows:

Kyle: “Of course I do.”

Me: “You… have a nude scene, too?”

Kyle (raising eyebrows): “Erhm, we all have nude scenes.”

I paused, undoubtedly looking bewildered.

Kyle: “Sam, what kind of set did they tell you this was?”

And so it dawned on me: I was working on a fucking porn. I instantly felt incredibly uncomfortable, though I have been a watcher and strong supporter of porn’s existence since an age that is probably a bit weird to be a porn-viewer.

But why wouldn’t they tell me that it was a porn? Had I missed something in the description? Did they even realize they had tricked me? Before I had a chance to comprehend the fact that I now would have my name attached to an adult film, I was called into the bedroom for touch-ups.

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  • L

    “And suddenly, I looked like the pervert.” LOL!

    awesome story!!

  • bean

    Reading this was the highlight of my day.

  • Katie

    This was so funny and wonderful. Please write more, Samantha!

    • Sam

      Thank you all, I’m hoping to! :D

  • Libby

    This was really entertaining!
    “Whoa, no girl, not there—it’s on my neck.”
    I would’ve been so embarrassed.

  • Amber Nefertari

    What an awesome post! This was hilarious, I am surprised you didn’t hear anything akward while you were waiting eating you ‘snacks’. How could you even eat snacks with that going on hahaha!

    beautyandthestreetmag.blogspot.com

  • ash

    w00000000000!

  • Tori B.

    So, wait….. you opted out of IMDB attaching your name to it, but then wrote an article about the experience?…..

    • Sam

      Haha, I can see how it might seem strange, but I have a few reasons:
      1) It’s been three years and I’ve since decided not to 100% pursue a career in makeup.
      2) I was 19 when this happened and my parents weren’t particularly pleased that my job (outside of going to college) was not on campus, it was actually working 36 hrs/week on sets, often until late at night. But they would’ve been flat-out upset if they had realized I had worked on an adult film, ha. Their opinion holds considerably less sway on my life nowadays.
      3) Anybody who reads this article will realize that adult film makeup is not my profession or focus because this explains the whole situation; an IMDB credit would not be listed as “Sam Escobar….Accidental Makeup Artist.”

  • Eagle Eye

    Great post…what people will do for their snacks…

  • AL

    i loved this! i now work as a celebrity make-up artist but i used to do makeup for a few porn films many (so many) years ago and had many similar awkward moments.. like when the guys would sit in the makeup chair for touch ups naked and i would be mortified and mumble for them to put some pants on, embarrassing them and me. one time we were out on a boat and i was asked to hold a reflector light over the couple.. stuck on a swaying boat sea sick and standing right on top them watching them go at it was awful!